If I never have the internet, I would probably be a dub today.

by asilentone 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • SlipnSlide

    I was a child in 1975 and I was not able to to make that decision for myself. I was able to see then that the WTS was not had a lot of flaws. I always had doubts even though I was eventually baptized. I noticed that most of the "Dubs" were becoming mean spirited and judgemental. A lot of them were living double lives themselves. They flip flopped on so many issues and there was definately with members on the "showing love" to brothers and sisters in "the faith". I've dealt with discrimination in some congregations and if you did not have any position (elder, pioneer, ministerial servant, elderette), you were more or less invisible. That has allowed me to "SlipnSlide" away.

  • goldensky

    I left exactly one year ago after 45 years in, and I only discovered you three months later. I'm very proud I took the step relying exclusively on my inner voice... Having said that, I must give you a gigantic Thank you, for meeting you was one of the best presents life has granted me.

  • shamus100

    Yes... what goldensky said. I knew it was wrong and was out for several years wondering if the next lightning bolt was going to hit me.

    I'd never have gone back, even if it wasn't for the net. It wasn't the 'true' religion the bible supposedly teaches. That's painfully obivious to me.

    Your experience may vary.

  • yknot

    Morning Gary

    I am in a much better place now and can answer your question:

    May I inquire as to why you think you would end up like this if you had not woken up?

    We had a similar period of clampdown, control and propaganda as we are experiencing now back in the 80's.

    I barely survived that.....and knew I could never survive another one.

    I would have been trapped by the deeply indoctrinated loyalty and social reinforcement of my support structure.

    It never crossed my mind, not once that the WTS wasn't "Jehovah's Organization"

    The indoctrination would have kept me captive and attending just short of mass suicide or accepting trinity... we all have our limits and mass suicide/ trintiarian belief is mine.

    So I would be out of my mind in grief and absolutely alone.........

    Internalizing on that level leads to a self-preserving need for escape so as to keep from going completely bonkers

    Private drinking and happy prescription pills are considered 'norms' in most congregations so long as it doesn't get to the point of tongues waging.


    I often post links to older publications and advocate reading Russell - early Knorr.

    I do this because it is the only reason I as able to let go of the WTS myth.

  • nelly136

    no, pre internet, no desire to go back.

  • Finally-Free
    My wife and I both turned into monsters before the inevitable divorce... so not only was the religion abusive, we became that way too...

    This hits home. I used to be the calmest, most easygoing guy before I was a JW. Then I joined the cult, and the cult influence made me the most arrogant SOB I ever met. I had to become that or be broken by the constant attempts to tear me down. Now, 7 years out of the cult, I'm still struggling to undo what I became.

    I decided to leave the cult after seeing the Fifth Estate program on JW child abuse. I would have left either way, but I'm convinced the internet made it much easier.


  • garyneal
    The indoctrination would have kept me captive and attending just short of mass suicide or accepting trinity... we all have our limits and mass suicide/ trintiarian belief is mine.

    I don't know what you mean by mass suicide/ trinitarian belief.

  • yknot


    It means if the WTS had suggested mass suicide or sudden acceptance of trinity .........my captivity and attendance would cease immediately.

    Those two things were the worst things I could imagine before the internet.

  • mrsjones5

    Left before the internet. The web confirms I'm not alone.

  • Designer Stubble
    Designer Stubble

    When I started researching my doubts, it was via the Internet that I found everything I needed. Without Internet I would almost certainly still be "in", perhaps somewhat more on my own terms, but certainly not out - and if out, not so sure of myself as I now am. I know for a fact that I made the right decision to leave and have absolutely no fear for Armageddon.

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