A JW wife who doesn't respect her non-JW husband in their marriage will likely poison the well in the end. Right now the KH views you as a spiritual albatross for you family, then later as they give up on you, as a threat to your wife and child's WT cult/religion's loyalty. Good luck.
Incoming communication from Borg elder
I just hope something good will come of all this somehow...
Something already did but you seem to wallow in sadness so much that you just can't see it. You have been DFd from the Borg for crying out loud. Next to DAing that is the BEST THING that can happen to a JW. "sd-7 is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses"
You hear that? You are FREE, brother!
So your wife's a JW who doesn't respect you. That isn't the worst of your problems from this vantage point. I see your major issues as twofold:
1. You don't even respect yourself. If you dog yourself on the inside like you do in many of your posts you're going to become physically ill as a result of your self-loathing. You need counseling so that you can develop some sort of self-esteem. You did some good work in your JC; you gave a REAL witness and those clowns still have the cognitive dissonance going inside because of it. That's why they want you back, because if you go back to them, it repudiates all the TRUTH about the Borg that you laid on them and they can rest easy. Don't go back; let them sleep at night in that bed they've made, if they can.
2. You're allowing your offspring to be raised in a dangerous mind control cult because you lack the self-esteem to even be a 50% authority in your own home, let alone the 100% HEAD that the Borg endorses.
Take care of issue 1. Get your self-esteem back. Then save your child before it's too late. Make a PLAN for it with contingencies for both with and without your wife.
I'm not a professional counselor but seeing your story unfold over the last several months, this is the advice that seems obvious to me.
I thought SD-7 hangng up on the elder to "cut the conversation short" was hysterical, because it's so against his nature. As entertining and thought provoking as his posts are, actually speaking to SD-7 reveals him in his true light. He's very soft spoken and sweet. His private emails are thoughtful and kind. He's the kind of guy any mother would love. So, I'll shut up about that, because about now, he is profoundly embarrassed.
Anyway, dear heart, I hope you take note of all of the "don't beat yourself up" posts on this thread. Um, do they sound even remotely familiar? I hope so, because I've been telling you the same thing for ages.
P.S. I sent you an email about the music. Let me know what you think.
I think many of us see what a 'gem' of a man he is.........too bad his wife is too blinded by the WTS to see his beauty, worth and brilliance!
Which Dylan album??
Bob will save your ass anytime you want! I just played Empire Burlesque, Saved and the Basement Tapes in that order.
More spirituality in 1 side of a Bob album than in 30 years of jehovah yahweh cult hogwash.
i left over 10 years ago. i used to drive my ex-wife to meetings, be friendly with the jws, etc.
2 years ago she cheated on me, then to tone down her cheating on me, she brought up the book that i had written and was trying to sell. she played it up as apostasy and everyone, anyone, who was ever friendly, who came over to our house over the passed 10 years and got drunk with the "worldly" friends we had, and watched r-rated movies, and were jack-jws turned against me in the most hatefull horrific ways.
now i realize that everyone was trying to stay cool with the congregation and point the finger at me so they wouldn't get busted.
we divorced, well, after she realized she couldn't divorce me and i could forgive her, but i wanted completely out of the madness, of the utter socio-pathic and hypocritcal humans that call themselves jehovah's witnesses, so i pursued the divorce, even though i was faithful to her, drove her to meetings, made sure she had everything she needed to keep up what she thought was truth....even hiding things in our house when her over-righteous family came over.
i was never dfed. a last try was launched at me by so-called friends from years back, writing me friendly emails months before my book was released, chumming up, until almost all of them asked at the same time if i considered myself apostate or if i believed in jehovah's organization. i knew this was coming from the elders and they were looking for a way to df me before my novel came out. i told them all to never contact me again and get out of my life forever.
it's hard. for me it was the only solution. it takes years to get strong again. to feel okay. if i had a choice, i wish i had done it sooner.
that's my experience. they love to use the word theocratic warfare when tearing down a human they want gone.
my ex-wife never read my novel before it was published. i let no jw read my novel before it was published. not even to "justify" myself, that is was a love story set inside the jws and written with care and love for the characters....and that story was more important than smearing jws.
i'm lucky to be on the other side.
they haven't dfed me. they're welcome to as i'll use it for publicity for the novel.
forget the elders, is your wife with you?
that's all that matters. from my experience, it's best to find out earlier than later.
thanks for the insight about how SD-7 comes across outside of cyber-world. Easy to analyse every sentence but miss the tone had they been spoken.
SD-7, your mails seem far less dark than previously, despite having such kindly elders doing their best to stir everything up again. Ambushed is the right word and putting down the phone to such a destructive idiot is probably the best retort. Don't let the thought police have an ounce of control. As ever am always interested in what you have to say.
StAnn--Have read Captives of a Concept. Great book.
wasblind--Read page 242 of Reasoning book. Beautiful. How embarrassing is that one...
Can't possibly respond to everything. Thanks, Jamie, for the kind words. It's been a tough night--wife and I had huge fight and she was about to leave me altogether. Need another thread for that issue.
Can't go back to religion. Everything about it has brought me nothing but pain and low self-esteem. Never did continue looking for suitable, affordable therapy. Could go with hypocrisy embracing route, but would have to throw out probably a half a Best Buy's worth of movies. Movies have been like 'Diamonds Are Forever' for me. Too tired to explain...
Don't want to watch anything too disturbing. Was disturbed by scenes in 'Watchmen', but really loved the comic itself--that was first R-rated movie I ever bought. Matrix seems pretty good, first half hour watched while wife at meeting. She will throw those away if she finds them, I'm sure.
Reaching point where just want to be left alone, been run into ground by wife anyway. Was up till 2 a.m. arguing with her, had to get up at 6:45 a.m. for work--slept late.
Want best for wife and daughter, but...am not doing them any favors by tormenting them with my presence and my heretical beliefs. And my movies. Never mind. Will write new thread if can keep eyes open.
She does not respect you.
I wish you all the best.
As far as them trying to entice 'apostates' back into the fold: this would be such a victory for them! Most people fall away from the religion or are kicked out because of immorality. But when somebody leaves because they no longer believe the religion - it just sucker punches them. I think it is because they all have DOUBTS that they don't want to admit. They are really bothered by all the people leaving and I think it chips away at THEIR faith. They must wonder to themselves in a panic 'I have the truth...so why are people leaving...'
So, it makes perfect sense that they try to entice some so-called apostates back. Then they can go around saying: 'SEE he came back because he knows THIS is the truth...' yada, yada.