Consequences for remarriage if "unscripturally" divorced???

by compound complex 35 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Thank you, once again, Quentin, for your support.

    I am grateful that you are able to speak so freely about the positive turn around in your life's situation. What you describe as your family scenario is what I have recently regained and do not want to lose again. It's not possible to describe in any detail here and now, but my freedom of choice has already hurt those whom I love. They have suffered on my account, hence, I'm very cautious, given the nature of the "beast."

    Nevertheless, what you say makes sense and will be useful to me - honestly!

    Much gratitude,


  • Quentin

    I understand........

  • wantstoleave

    Dear Coco...

    I find myself in that situation. My ex (a witness) abandoned the children and I two yrs ago. We've not seen or heard from him since. The elders informed me I was not scripturally free. I divorced him despite this, I did not get in trouble, nothing was said. But, in the eyes of the congregation, I am still married to him.

    What baffles me is the hypothetical of if he were to ever come back (I don't want him), we'd be married in the eyes of the witnesses, yet say if we slept together...we'd be in big trouble because technically we're not married . So in this instance, common law goes above Jehovah's law. But on the same token, neither of us is free to move on. It just doesn't make sense!

    I never want him back, but the hypothetical always stumps me.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear wantstoleave:

    Thanks for replying and sharing with us the nature of your particular circumstance.

    Yes, the "hypothetical" is stumping, as many of us are free of "The Truth" but not so in our personal lives, to some degree or another. The Society goes well beyond the things written and keeps us who endeavor to escape in its deadly thrall.

    It's a trade off and not always an acceptable one.

    Best wishes to you and your children,


  • FlyingHighNow
    The Society goes well beyond the things written and keeps us who endeavor to escape in its deadly thrall.

    Only if you allow them to. Love and happiness is too valuable a thing to give up. Life is precious: live it. Learn to BE.

  • Palimpsest

    This is my mother's story, not mine, but:

    She divorced without grounds in the mid-'80s. The elders said nothing; her assumption was always that they figured she was better off not being married to a non-believer any longer. About two years later, she remarried. Their objection was that she married another non-believer, but she didn't lose privileges.

    At the same time, I personally know people who got DFed -- really -- for marrying non-believers. This was in the '90s, when we seemed to have a really intense crackdown in our area on marrying outsiders. (The '8os were more lenient, for whatever reason.) I am continually told that marrying a non-believer is not a DF-able offense, but at least in my congregation and a few surrounding ones, it was treated that way. We all know renegade elders sometimes go off and do their own thing, so that's all I chalk it up to.

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