Coco, I had a friend who was a pioneer. She was divorced from her husband before becoming a JW. Years later, he came back into her life and they remarried. She was removed as a pioneer and reproved for marrying a worldly man. This always threw me because, technically, they were still married in God's eyes, right? Yet she was reproved for reuniting with her "scriptural" husband! Seems that since the "God of love hates a divorcing," this would have been okay.
My brother and his wife divorced. He left the JWs. The elders sent him a letter asking him to acknowledge that he'd committed fornication so that his ex-wife could remarry! Now, my brother wouldn't do that because, even though he was dating a woman, they were chaste. However, his ex-wife was a JW in good standing and dating a JW in good standing while still "spiritually" married to my brother. Finally, my brother remarried and the elders put a copy of the notice of his marriage in his file and DF'd him in abstentia. Then his ex-wife married the scum brother she'd been dating and discovered, very quickly, what a piece of trash he was. Now she's stuck with him for some reason, won't divorce him even though he cheats on her. I still can't understand how the elders could let it pass that she was dating a JW while still scripturally married to my brother.
These situations aren't exactly your situation but I think it shows that the elders will insinuate themselves into any marital situation they can.
CoCo, I guess I'm confused. I thought you were long out of the Borg. If not, this would be the nail in the coffin that would DF you. But it would be worth it if you really love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her.