Consequences for remarriage if "unscripturally" divorced???

compound complex

Greetings, fellow posters, happy couples, resigned singles:

I know many of you are happily partnered, irrespective of WT rules and regulations on "appropriate" matches.

If you have had a so-called unscriptural divorce and are or were known as a JW, have you dated, lived with another person - a "significant other" - or remarried?

If you can answer "yes" to any of the above, what were the consequences for you amongst JW family and friends?

I'm almost afraid to ask, but it's time I popped the question.

I wonder if there'll be any replies ...

Oh, thanks!

CoCo

I had a Elder/cousin JW wife for 30 years with 3 children...He was a super Pr**k elder lorded it over his family and the congo. Mentally abused his wife and children. She finally had enough and got a civil divorce which ment neither could remarry. He stepped down as Elder and over night lost his entire power base, Lord over his family and congo. WELL he seduced a single sister had sex and they went running to the Elders crying, "Were sooooooo sorry" had a JC where he argued his JW wife had no right to deny him his marriage bed and they were both Publicly Reproved and the JC said to him, "Oh go ahead and marry her"...I then DA'd myself...

compound complex

Thanks, zeroday, for relating that incident. No wonder you DA'd yourself!

I've wondered if the judicial action - if any - would vary from one congregation to the next. I guess so.

I appreciate your response.

CoCo

StAnn

Coco, I had a friend who was a pioneer. She was divorced from her husband before becoming a JW. Years later, he came back into her life and they remarried. She was removed as a pioneer and reproved for marrying a worldly man. This always threw me because, technically, they were still married in God's eyes, right? Yet she was reproved for reuniting with her "scriptural" husband! Seems that since the "God of love hates a divorcing," this would have been okay.

My brother and his wife divorced. He left the JWs. The elders sent him a letter asking him to acknowledge that he'd committed fornication so that his ex-wife could remarry! Now, my brother wouldn't do that because, even though he was dating a woman, they were chaste. However, his ex-wife was a JW in good standing and dating a JW in good standing while still "spiritually" married to my brother. Finally, my brother remarried and the elders put a copy of the notice of his marriage in his file and DF'd him in abstentia. Then his ex-wife married the scum brother she'd been dating and discovered, very quickly, what a piece of trash he was. Now she's stuck with him for some reason, won't divorce him even though he cheats on her. I still can't understand how the elders could let it pass that she was dating a JW while still scripturally married to my brother.

These situations aren't exactly your situation but I think it shows that the elders will insinuate themselves into any marital situation they can.

CoCo, I guess I'm confused. I thought you were long out of the Borg. If not, this would be the nail in the coffin that would DF you. But it would be worth it if you really love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her.

StAnn

zeroday*

Let me go into a little more detail why I DA'd myself Compound...I was a JW for 28 years and was HAULED before a Judicial Committee because I went to an afternoon movie "Fantasia" with a sister and her 2 young children in the 70's. Her husband was not a JW we were friends a term I can honestly say rarely passed my lips in 28 years in the inside. "Fantasia" was rereleased in the 70's and she said, "Hey I'm bringing the kids why don't you come along also". Why not I said and we went. Well somehow it got to the Elders and in the Judicial Committee the Elders claimed I was dating her and trying to break up her marriage...WTF and if I didn't admit what I did was wrong they would DISFELLOWSHIP me on the spot so I admitted what I did was wrong...

And then this BASTARD elder/cousin of mine gets away with this crap...that was it...

compound complex

Thanks again, zeroday, for replying and then supplying the explanation as to your disassociation.

The situation is ludicrous and, worse, hypocritical. No consistency whatsoever. Sorry for the grief it caused you personally. BTW, I went to see the rerelease of Fantasia but with my own family! Safer? This thing of saying platonic relationships are NOT possible is blatantly wrong, that even the most innocent relationships will lead to wrongdoing....

Your response, StAnn, is another example of absurdity-in-the-extreme as practiced by JCs. What convoluted thinking and enforced directives. I won't say too much here other than my entire family is JW and I am a fader. I grapple with holding onto my family [all of whom followed me into the org] and following my heart. Incidentally, the question I "popped" is the thread title! It's taken a long time simply to address this issue publicly, saying enough but not too much. My poetry threads might possibly be construed as desperate longing for the unattainable. If I could just throw over 40-plus years of JWism and love of family, I'd say I'm outta here and follow my dream of sharing my life with a kindred spirit!

I don't see that as a viable option - yet.

Thank you both for your personal examples. They've really helped.

Love,

CoCo

beksbks

CoCo, you are a treasure that should be appreciated! If you find a kindred spirit, and have a chance at happiness......................well my gosh, make it happen. It's a gift to find another person to share your life and love with. Don't let that organization take anything else from you. Yes, it can be a fine line with family I know. I was fortunate, my mothers love for her children usurped her loyalty to the org.

compound complex

Dear, dear Beks!

!

So much to say but best in a PM - later, when I'm less emotional....

Much love,

CoCo

beksbks

CoCo

StAnn

CoCo, I have to say this. I don't know how old you are but just how much longer are you willing to wait? Waiting is just postponing the inevitable. I'd take a few good years with someone I dearly loved by my side than a lifetime of fear of losing the conditional love of my JW family. Lots to think about and definitely not an easy decision to make.

You are martyring yourself for love of your family. Do they appreciate that? Would they do that for you?

Such a difficult situation to be in.

StAnn

Consequences for remarriage if "unscripturally" divorced???

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