Standing up for myself, a lonely stand

by troubled mind 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    This is the place to vent. We are all here for you. You are a strong person. Stronger than your husband right now. And I think you are more OUT than him right now. He's still feeling the effects of mind-control. He's getting there.

    I'm really sorry you feel that your parents were not supportive of you. I can totally relate to that.

    We understand and I think you won't be hearing from the elders anymore.

    This is a tough thing you are doing right now. But you are doing it and you will get through it. A year from now you will be enjoying your authentic life.

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    You were strong enough to pull away from the Witnesses. Thats not easy to do.

    Thinking of you,

    Palm

  • ziddina
    ziddina

    Oh, Hugs, (((((((((Troubled Mind)))))))))!!!

    Like Palm Tree said, you showed a great deal of strength by successfully pulling away from the JWs... Your husband's "backsliding", shall we say , is pretty common, and I hope he'll snap out of it and continue to see the organization for what it really is...

    Your road ahead may be a bit lonely [WE'LL be here for you, but sounds like hubby isn't quite fully 'conscious' yet...], but you are a very strong person and your strength will increase as you continue to make progress...

    Oh, and contrats!!! on siccing the German Shepherd on that creep!! Good for YOU!! Did your dad ever find out what kind of filth his 'friend' actually was??

    Zid

  • truthseekeriam
    truthseekeriam

    I hear you troubled mind!! I feel you fustration...I have had many of those same conversations with my husband as well. It's hard to be the only one to stand up and say enough! In the way we need to be done!

    Just a few years ago when our daughter was molested I wanted him to drive over to that creeps house and kill him with his bare hands! I wanted to see him turn into some man I knew he wasn't..I married a man that was a kind, calm and controlled... everything I so loved about him I suddenly couldn't stand! It was the hardest thing to face and it very well could have torn us apart at a very horrible time. I had to remember I can't expect him, to be me. The truth is there could only be one of me in a relationship :) I'm the emotional, vocal, do it now person! He's the let's think about it, don't be rash person.

    I always enjoy your threads,

    (((hugs)))

  • OnTheWayOut
  • frigginconfused
    frigginconfused

    I get what youre saying. But please dont let yourself be a slave to your inner warrior. I had anger issues and would never back down from a fight. This is not in reference to your post. Its just to help you with other things that get in the way. Living in anger is hard.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    You are a good person TM, this I know.

    May you find peace as you dig thru this difficult moment in life. All ears.

    Namaste

    Jeff

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Well update sports fans ......got a certified letter just now inviting me to a little Kigdom Hell gathering known as a JC Just to honor little sinner me ! take a look on the new thread just posted ......

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    You and I are genuinely peas of the same pod. I took a lonely stand myself, faced the indignity of a judicial committee and the humiliating verbal abuse from my family thereafter. My own wife turned me in in the first place. She continues believing I'm the problem, that something was wrong with me for questioning the organization. The elders went out about as far as your typical elders can be expected, on a limb, but failed to meaningfully reason with me about any issue. They, like your elders, just wanted to know if I still wanted to be a JW, bottom line. Not one person bothered to seriously reason with me from the scriptures. My character was maligned, I was branded, told I'd be left with nothing--and this by my own mother and brother.

    Standing up for myself is still a work in progress for me, too. But once I knew enough, I could only turn away in disgust at just how thoroughly insensitive and devoid of love the people in this religion often are (elders especially), and how thoroughly misled I was for going along with it for so long. It never really stops hurting, but then I've only been out for about 3 months.

    Still discovering myself, too. I was shocked to find that this persona I imagined of the 'dark side' of me was really my authentic self, after all--the very thing I was trying to destroy was my true self, and it inevitably resurfaced every time. I'm still on the bridge between the JW self and my true self, and it's a shaky bridge. But I'd rather be on the bridge, heading in the right direction, than back in the former life.

    Your husband, like my wife, is still a bit naive about how this religion works. It's just not possible to give the elders the benefit of the doubt once they know you're questioning the doctrine. Their duty prevents them from seeing anything but how fast and how hard to give your a-- the boot. Love is being scaled back, and these bastards will let you drown in a heartbeat.

    It saddens me to hear a story so similar. I had no idea how I was going to pull through, and I still have no idea where I'm going. Granted, I'm 27, but no matter how old you are, you still feel terrible about wasting so much time in this religion for nothing. Fact is, time is the only ally you may have left, strange as that sounds. You will find your way. If you had the courage to stand alone in the first place--and that takes a LOT of courage, so hats off to you for that--you'll find your way. Hope it turns out well for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here. Sometimes, it needs to be said.

    --sd-7

  • Pootler
    Pootler

    Finding your authentic self, liking that self, learning to make your own decisions, living in the now, and growing a backbone are things that I think most ex-JWs struggle with. It might seem im possible now, but you can achieve all those things and move on to be a happier person outside the Watchtower

    I've been out for about 20 years now, and yet here I am, on this forum, showing that the borg is still part of who I am. But there are so many other parts to me now, and I like all of them, even the borg parts. Getting to this point took therapy, drugs, hard work, time, strength, and self-love. And I had to learn the last two on the job. :-) My mantra was clich├ęd but so true: don't let the bastards grind you down. :-)

    This board is probably the best place on the internet for recovering JWs. I don't think anyone will mind if you have a good old moan here, and I'm pretty sure someone will always reply. You'll want to get a lot of things out. DO it. Here, in therapy, wherever you can. Then one day you'll wake up and see that you are free. {{{hugs}}}

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