Why can't the elders MIND THEIR BUSINESS!

by babygirl30 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • babygirl30

    So yesterday I end up having a nice evening with old friends who used to be in my congregation years ago. I always loved this family, and thought we were pretty close. What was meant to be a 'drop by - say hi' ended up being a 3hr visit!! But it was refreshing because I found out that they are inactive and also I got to be open about my feelings on the 'truth' and my whole situation...I left there feeling GOOD. IT's a cool feeling to know someone else understands how I feel - they get it, ya know?

    I get home around 10pm and one of my gf's sends me a text (she is an active JW but still has stayed close to me despite my DFing). She said "had a mtg w/elders 2nite. I will call u 2morrow bout it." Immediately I get nervous because a few days before her mtg, she needed my help for an errand. While we're talking in the car, she tells me that her neighbor (who is a JW) questioned whether or not my friend still has contact with me and I'm reinstated yet? My gf has major surgery (same one I had 3 mos ago) and so when she went home, I made her meals (for she and her mom - who live together) and dropped them off. Well, when I walked in - and I was invited to stop by - this JW neighbor was sitting in the LR. I didn't speak to HER, walked right by and handed my friends the food then walked right out. Mind you, this JW neighbors husband is now inactive - and makes it clear he has no interest in going back. Anyhow, turns out that this neighbor spoke to the elders about my gf having me come over...also about her Facebook friends (some of them are DF'd too)...and how a 'male' comes to the house regularly (my gf is dating him and he is NOT a JW). Gf told me she KNEW when the elders were hounding her about coming over and having a mtg, that it was more then likely over this sister 'tattling'...and of course it was!!! The 2 elders that show up are both acquaintances of mine - the one used to be my best friend whom I dated for a short while (didn't work out cause he has no personality and I really wasn't attracted to him so I broke it off). Well, my gf said that only the 1 elder told her that they understood that she was having association with DF'd individuals, and that it is a BAD influence on HER. They lectured how they need to keep the KHall clean, and they asked her point blank if she will stop associating with me - she said YES (to placate them). Before leaving, the same elder told her "This is serious counsel you DO understand that, right? Dealing with an unclean individual who is no longer under the protectiono f the cong is SERIOUS." The entire time, the other elder (that I used to be close to) never said ONE WORD. According to her, he just reminded her about her obligation to Jehovah....

    She called me today and we talked about the whole thing again, and she said that she said that she is TIRED of how all JWs feel they can be in your business - no matter how personal! ANother point she made was that this sister NEVER came to her and talked to her about her plan to approach the elders...she just went behind her back and did it. Lastly, she thinks it's ironic that my old friend - the elder - had nothing to say because she knows he has always had feelings for me and has asked her before how I'm doing as do TONS of the JWs in the circuit - cause they all knew me and continue to check up on how I am. I think it's so pathetic that a religion REALLY can make people afraid of talking to others...seriously? I don't bite - hahahahahaha - and I am not 'unclean' by hygienic standards. hahahaha. So for 2 men to sit and tell a grown WOMAN that she needs to stop talking to whomever she wants ... well...that's JWs for ya.

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    It's a cult sweetie. Of course you already know that. Hang in there.

    Think About It

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    control!!! Looking back I don't understand why adults let "elders" tell them 1/2 the things they do!? Don't they have a life of there own?

  • mrsjones5

    I think it's so pathetic that a religion REALLY can make people afraid of talking to others...seriously?

    Yes, it's seriously pathetic. Does your friend want out?

  • little witch
    little witch

    Cause they are busy minding yours!

    (LOL) ok, now I will go back and actually read what you posted........dang......


  • serenitynow!

    But why does your friend have the nosy neighbor JW up in her house? I would ignore that broad if I was her.

  • lepermessiah

    Its all about control.....it has nothing to do with compassion for you or your friend.

    Just remember their theme text for the year:

    "LOVE never fails!"

    That statement is so true, and yet so warped in the bizarro world of JW's. Their definition of love is scary.

  • crazyblondeb

    Where were they when your friend needed meals, and help???

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Hang in there baby!

    Elders love the word "serious" because they think it will shock you into conformity. They tried that crap with me when trying to get my wife to have a meeting with them. "This is a serious matter." Yeah, to them maybe, but to me it's just you guys being a pain in the ass (is what I wanted to say).

    You are a good friend and your friend will see how obvious that is. She may even see the light.

    I would advise the friend to tell the nosy gossipping Dub that she has "marked" her as "bad association" because of her propensity to disregard 1Peter 4:15 and 1Timothy 5:13 and that she is no longer welcome in her home or as a Facebook friend. She should also go over her FB account and set her privacy more tightly.

  • yourmomma

    yeah, i can attest to people getting in trouble for helping sick DF'd people, even if they are family members. Council/threats have been given for buying groceries for a DF'd person with cancer.

    in my opinion they are slowly doing away with the "family buisness" clause, and are moving to a 100% shunning policy, regardless of anything.

    i mean, to threaten to DF someone because they buy groceries for their DF'd mother with cancer is satantic.

    im glad though, because sick shit like that is helping more and more people realize that this is not a religion, its a cult. maybe it used to be a high control religion, but not anymore. its a full blown cult.

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