Quick one-liners to explain why you haven't been to meetings

by gubberningbody 71 Replies latest jw friends

  • thetrueone

    I had a heavy flow day and I wasn't feeling well

    I'm getting home schooled by the DC servant who happens to be young buxom blond

    I talked to god and he said I knew everything I needed to know

    I'm helping the GB members write this summer's talks for the assemblies

  • gubberningbody

    "I'm waiting for the whole season to come out on DVD, I lose the thread of the plot otherwise."

  • mentallyfree31

    These are sooo funny. Great posts everybody. Thanks for the laugh!

    My favorites are "I'm simplifying my life" and "I've been working overtime to save up money to go see Beth-Sarim and the pyramid at Russell's grave".


    My brother, leavingwt, suggests saying "i have been "present" at every meeting brother, just invisibly like Jesus."


  • RR

    I've been hiding in my bunker waiting for armageddon since 1975, I just came out to purchase more can goods

  • exwhyzee

    I was at a photo shoot on location in Gog of Magog where I posed for the cover of this months DF'd Magazine.

  • JustHuman14

    ELVIS DIED..............

  • MsDucky

    I bought a couch at a garage sale and got stuck on it. I think it's demonized.

  • Opus92

    I've been busy practicing witchraft and becoming a lesbian.

  • ssn587

    When told that i as missed at a meeting, I always ask good thing I ducked what was it you threw at me???

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    I discovered that thinking is what my brain is meant for and is best at, independently that is.

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