Quick one-liners to explain why you haven't been to meetings

by gubberningbody 71 Replies latest jw friends

  • lepermessiah

    I am having problems with my vision - I just cant see myself attending meetings anymore.

  • RR

    "I started my own meetings, you should come"

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I'm simplifying my life.

  • Psychotic Parrot
    Psychotic Parrot

    If they asked me why i've been missing meetings, i'd tell them that i haven't actually missed them at all.

  • carla

    I've decided to associate with people who have higher moral standards and value life.

    Got Jesus?

    I've become like the Bereans and have finally 'made sure' of all things.

  • AllTimeJeff

    TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU WEREN'T AT THE KH (with apologies to David Letterman)

    "HBO finally did a documentary on "Debbie Does Dallas", which was right after "True Blood". Must see TV!"

    "I've had the Knowledge book crammed up my @$$, which makes it very hard to sit down at a KH."


    "Last night we partied like its 1975."

    "We found some scrach off lottery tickets and won. So we went to the Casino afterward."

    "We were trying to help apostates on JWN learn the error of their ways by cutting and pasting old WT articles. Hard to tell if its current light or not."

    "We used to have key parties after our bookstudy, and we are stumbled that we can't do that anymore."

    "We learned that when you multiply the 7 Gentile Times and then divide by 2,520, and count backwards from 1914, the answer is 69."

    "My wife was playing my skin flute."

    "Colonel Angus came by to pay my wife a vist. She likes him."

  • zadok777

    New World will was moved to 2114...Only 104 more years...The end of this system of things is here...

  • Heaven

    "I don't want to marinate in the doom and gloom of the Watchtower."

  • zoiks
    I'm simplifying my life.

    Now that's funny!

    I can't remember who, but someone here used the line, "I've just been somewhere minding my own business". Good stuff

  • WTWizard

    It was a complete waste of time to get up and attend hounding sessions, when I was told to simplify my life.

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