by diana netherton 28 Replies latest jw friends
I sure hope so.
I had a conversation with my little sister, venting, and now I am the bad guy. I shouldn't have told her my feelings. I'm "stirring" things up. She said that I have lost friends over the years (what??). She hung up on me after I said I was going to have a panic attack. I have never stood up to her like that. I told her that just because I didn't agree with her religion that didn't make me a bad person. She wasn't having it.
I need someone to talk to.
Has anyone contacted you yet? I'm sure someone from the forum can call you. Check your PMs.
You will never be right according to your Mom for to reasons.
1) she is a JW
2) she wipe your ass at some point. (this is Non-JW phenomena as well)
Just enjoy the crazy woman while you have her, think of her as eccentric. Although I know it hurts to have a JW mom. Where's that motherly unconditional love? I say get a dog or have a kid.
I say get a dog or have a kid.
Ya, when my mother makes me feel like dirt I can turn to my four babies (well not really babies, I'm looking eyeball to eyeball with a couple of them) who love their mommie (me) to pieces.
Dealing with those brainwashed by the Watchtower can be very frustrating. Just be thankful you are no long caught up in the crazy lifestlye JWs live. Try to get to the point where you can accept that this is just the way things are arguing about it won't change things. The best way to deal with your mother or for that matter any Witness is by not letting them get to you. You know they are wrong and that should be enough. Trying to make them see just how wrong they are will only frustrate you. I know this from my own experience. I've got into shouting matches myself and it didn't change their way of thinking. I don't know that much about panic attacks but I think if it were me I would discuss this with my doctor. It certainly is worth harming yourself over this crazy religion. Why let them win? The best way to show them they are wrong is by moving on and enjoying your life.
Diane,, you have so much to live for! You have a lot going for you. You get to have a free mind and free life. Your mom choses otherwise and that is only very sad for her. You will have to be the stronger one now. You can do it. Don't yell at her as it doesn't accomplish anything. She wants to be a cult dependent and you cannot choose for her. But you must still love her and have respect for her in that she raised you the best she thought how.
Develop yourself to have love, joy and peace for yourself first. You can do it! The good life is now and ahead for you. One day at a time. Take care.
Hi Dianna I am sorry you are going through this. Don't let your mother control you, calm down and let your family see you are in control and that you are happy with your life. I wish I could turn back time my parents were very controlling if I dare mention what I wanted to do with my life outside watchtower world they would explode. My dad was a bully and used the org. to control us I ended up having a massive breakdown I let them control me even after I got married. I agree with Gayle to have love, joy peace for yourself first dont let your mum or family take away your joy or what you want to do with your life.
Getting angry plays into their hands let them live their life and you live yours. How I wish I had this forum then with everyones support and advice. I wish you well Dianna and keep talking to us.
Love RosePetal
Don't panic honey. You've taken the first steps in letting go of mamma's hand and taking control as an adult - its a scary thing to do isn't it? We're so used to being a child seeking mamma's approval, that we can forget how to be adults. You've remembered, well done!
You don't need mamma's approval anymore, you're a grown-up now so don't be afraid of her temper, you know you're right - stick to it. Then you'll be well on the way to being a principled mature adult who knows her own mind.
Go girl!
Hang in there Diane...
It's not easy dealing with JW family. They can be very frustrating, especially when the subject of the religion is at the forefront.
What helps me is to remember that they are victims. They've been brainwashed by the WTS. Yes, they can be cold and calculating but somewhere deeper inside is the real person.
I've learned also, for the most part, to not have religious discussions, JW or otherwise with them. It only leads to trouble.
I think you feel bad because you lost it, you yelled at someone you've never yelled at before or want to yell at...we've all been there. We all have regrets in how we've handled certain people and situations. While it hurts now, it can be a learning experience. Now that you know how your mom may act/react to this situation, you know now what to look for in the future in order to avoid the argument...even if if means biting your tongue and walking away. That's what I've learned...the hard way. I'm a stubborn SOB and I'll argue for arguing sake, but with JW family, I've realized that sitting in silence is the best thing for everyone. Let them believe what they want, I know what I know. I'll pick my times to drop hints or make simple statemsnt that hopefully spark something.
It still hurts and it probably will for a bit, but it'll get better. Mothers and daughters may fight but there is a bond that is deeper than the one to the WTS in most cases. You can find that common ground and move forward.
Good luck...
Diana, hope you are feeling better today.
Think About It
