Trying to live the rest of my life without being bitter.

by Bigdummy 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LoveUniHateExams

    Welcome, Big D.

    Stayed in the cult from age 6 to mid 60s so as to keep peace with family? You deserve a medal.

    I look forward to reading more of your posts.

  • TTATT_Paladin

    This may sound very overboard, but if you never got in, got in but got out right away, or languished for a while before you learned what is REALLY going on with them, you still ended up in a great place: OUT.

  • stuckinarut2


    Yes, we all go through the stages of grieving after learning the TRUTH about the truth!





    It is a normal phase....

    We have a RIGHT to be angry and bitter with the Org that robbed us of our lives!

  • Oubliette

    Hi BD!

    BD: She says I'm being picky

    Isn't that how "true Christians" are supposed to be?

    BD: she said she doesn't know me anymore.

    Tell her, "I don't know this religion anymore!"

  • ron rawson
    ron rawson
    Been there with you Big Dummy (which you obviously are not). I feel you brother, as do sooooooo many others. Hang in, hang out, but mostly hang on to your sanity. I'm in my mid-60's and like so many wasted my best years trying to believe the crap-truth. Finally overwhelmed, I gave it up. The result? Life is good, grand, and sadly too far gone. So be it. Make the most of your new found contentment. I wish you peace.
  • ABibleStudent
    Bigdummy - I told my wife it looks like any other tv evangelical show. She's not happy with me since I just quit going to meetings cold turkey several weeks ago. She says I'm being picky and she said she doesn't know me anymore.
    Welcome Bigdummy, It appears like your wife needs to be reassured that you love her.
    Have you considered asking your wife questions like Billy the Ex-Bethelite wrote about in exJW Psychology 102--How to Ask a Question When Questions Aren't Allowed? Asking simple questions to learn more about what your wife is thinking and feeling is less stressful on your marriage than saying what you feel.
    If you want to help your wife to critically think for herself, ask her simple questions, learn to overcome her using thought-stopping platitudes, get involved in time-consuming, non-JW hobbies that she enjoys doing, have home Bible studies without the WTBTS propaganda, and learn as much as you can about the WTBTS history and doctrines and overcoming undue influence and BITE manipulation techniques.
    Best of wishes for you and your wife living together WTBTS free.
    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  • zeb

    Have you retired? well yes or no you NOW have hours to put into being creative. making stuff is very therapeutic.

    and consider joining up with a seniors walking club but take it easy for a start.

    I live close to the coast and there are sights to see. I often wonder who invented Lycra.? ( not that it matters.)

    You are brave to go cold -turkey and just quit. Dont worry. Two things will now happen.

    One the 'dragon-class' will pester her for a time "You have to get him along" ( a guilt trip by extension and the un spoken suspicions of (dramatic music here ) ... ..another woman.

    the second is you will 'start to fade' to the cong members and wont be missed. Ironic eh?


  • ToesUp
    You left. You are no Big Dummy. A VERY smart person!
  • Bigdummy
    I remember in the late 1950's and on up until the late 1960's it seemed like
    our congregations were tight. By tight I mean we were close. I don't remember
    any cliques or factions. Maybe I was too young or oblivious to any particular
    groups of people. We played softball 2 or 3 times a month on Sunday evenings.
    I mean not just the younger people but entire families of all ages, men women
    and children on each team. Even non-JW spouses played at times and we had
    fun. Then in the very early '70's it all seemed to change. Everything got serious.
    Picnics and ball games are very rare. A few younger ones get together sometime
    and play basketball but you have to be in the know to even hear about it. The
    congregation I was recently in for 40 plus years always seemed to have a power
    struggle for most prominent elder. Twenty years ago nobody wanted the Presiding
    Overseer spot. Then younger elders moved in and they seemed to want it real
    bad. I can see an Elder wanting to step up and make a difference and I know
    that's the way it should be but we had several PO's come and go that were a
    total detriment to the congregation. One of them would always say " I did this
    or I did that". Every other sentence started with I did something. Some of the
    brothers wanted to tell the Circuit Overseer that he was dragging the congre-
    gation down. He was an unapproachable self absorbed A Type personality.
    His wife divorced him and he moved to another town but still in our circuit. She
    is still in our congregation but the damage he caused was tremendous. I saw
    him at the assembly yesterday because I caved and went because my wife
    was about to cry because she was going by herself. I did want to hear the
    baptism talk ending where they ask the 2 questions. This was one thing that
    hit me like a brick several years ago. Do recognize that you will be identified
    with the spirit directed organisation or something to that effect. I was baptised
    in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. When did this change I thought.
    Well I found out it changed a good while back and it just went over my head.
    Previous literature stated you never get baptised to an organization or person.
    Nathan Knorr stated you never get baptised to an organization or person. When
    the overlapping generation came after the previous generations explanations,
    it was time for me to get real. I thought who really knows the exact meaning of
    generation as Jesus spoke it. He knew what he meant but his own diciples
    and apostles had trouble understanding some things. How could anyone or the
    WTBTS know what was in his mind. Is it that important to me at this point in
    time to know exactly what he meant? Maybe yes, maybe no. Why couldn't
    the WTBTS say in 1995 when another generation explanation was required
    just say " hey brothers and sisters we don't know what he was thinking so
    we have no way of knowing". I would have been fine with that but NO that
    wasn't going to be." We say it's overlapping generations so there. Deal with it.
    Believe as we say no matter how ridiculous and keep your opinions to your-
    self. Here have some Kool-Aid." Enough venting for now.

  • millie210
    Sounds like you have a big heart to me, welcome!

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