I like the people in my Kingdom Hall! (page 3)

diamondiiz

My situation is very veru similar to yours. The decision you make is only YOURS to make. If you don't mind living with the knowledge that wts is a fraud and being a part of an organization that decieves and your friends are conditional friends that is your decision. If you want to know who your true friends are then you will leave and at that point you have to be able to face the reality of those so called friends who will ignore you as they pass by or who will no longer answer your calls and that may go for your inlaws as well.

If you plan to disassocite discuss this with your wife and how will your inlaws affect your lives. If you stay be careful how much you tell the elders or sooner or later they will take wts side and you'll end up in a judicial commitee. My congregation had "good" friendly people and that included the elders but when I decided to leave the cult that's when these "good" people proved to be nothing more than false friends. I personally don't need these type of people in my life. My wive's family still talks to me but that may be only because they want access to my kids as I would stop that the day they shun me. My wife still goes to meetings but not in service.

Make sure you and your wife research the wts deeply because if you disassociate yourselves and you don't do thorough reseach now, you or your wife may regret leaving the cult and will return in the future out of guilt. Read Carl Olof Jonnson's book "Gentile Times Reconsidered" which IMO is on par with Ray Franz' book. Excellent book as to why 607BC is not nor could it be a date for fall of Jerusalem which is the pillar or 1914 nonsese.

Also here are some links of old wts publications that you may find informative as you do your research:

http://www.archive.org/details/WatchTowerBibleandTractSocietyofPennsylvaniaWatchTowerpubs_0

More wts old pubs can be found here as well as child abuse court document which wts payed out of court. These documents are quite upsetting and very sad to read.

http://www.watchtowerdocuments.com/downloads/

Here are scans of Brooklyn Eagle clippings that I made into pdf that dealt with Russell which also include quotes from court trials between russell vs Brooklyn Eagle newspaper that reveal that he had a holding company and owned other business interest while wts president. Also reveals a bit of the scandel of Russell and a female he had living at his house which played part in his divorce and others.

http://www.archive.org/details/1909-1916BrooklynEagleNewsOnRussell

lavozsa

Thanks so much for all of the references. This only speeds up my decision and strengthens my case to show my wife.

jwfacts

Welcome.

I too liked the people in my congregation and miss some of the dearly. It is more difficult making close friends when you are not part of a group so can be more lonely if you leave.

The biggest factor in your decision now is your child. Without doubt, Watchtower doctrine is wrong and we are not about to face the "end of the world". That means you should be preparing yourself and your child for a long and fruitful life. Can you do that as a JW? The Watchtower teaches alienation from the World and a short-term focus on this life. I personally do not think that is a healthy way to raise a child.

peaches

welcome....dear god,,,,do not under any circumstances be vocal.....worst thing in the world you could do....you have NO IDEA how awful it can get....and will get.....i hope the best for you...peaches....

straightshooter

Good advice peaches. Unless one wants to be alienated from the congregation and jw relatives, it would be best to be quiet about your beliefs and birthday plans. The sad thing is that the alienation can deeply affect your family.

Of course if the family is prepared and ready for the alienation, then it will resolve the inner feelings of leading a double life. I would just fade away, but evaluate all the wonderful suggestions on this forum and make your own decision that you and your family can live with.

lavozsa

I agree that a gradual fading away is probably the best way to go. Kind of like the analogy I heard in a talk once about how a piece of charcoal away from the stack of coals starts to die out

I'm really hoping my wife will come to the same conclusion as I have.

moshe

-JW's are such happy people- look dear, they invited us to a dinner party.

-

StAnn

lavosza, a hearty welcome to you.

If you really want to get your wife fully on board, I too recommend that you get Don Cameron's book, Captives of a Concept. It will help your wife prove to herself that there's no way the WTS is what it claims to be. http://www.captivesofaconcept.com/

She really needs to grasp this for herself. If you start reading her passages out of Ray Franz's book, she might run off screaming with her hands over her ears and tune you out. (Although I also highly agree that you should read Ray Franz' book, however, it's really most relevant for us born-ins who were alive during his tenure at Bethel. We remember a lot of what was going on.)

StAnn

LostnFound

I liked the people in both of my halls as well, they were genuinely nice people. In fact, I had some dear family friends for over 11 years, however- at my first signs of 'trouble' not one of them tried to 'help' or talk to me about what was going on. I was written off very quickly! Even after I came back to a convention about 2 years later, they walked right by me and completely ignored me when I said hello. The friendships are so conditional, based on perception of others. When I stopped going to the meetings, I knew they would want to 'protect their own spirituality' and not associate with me. It still hurts though, when you have put 11 years into a friendship.

When I left (which was hard because my whole immediate family was/is involved), I felt like I had no one- but in having no one I found out who I truly am.

NiceDream

So happy you found yourself LostnFound.

I like the people in my Kingdom Hall!

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