This may sound like a funny title, but it is actually true. Just to give a brief background on myself, I've been a JW for nearly 12 years now. I didn't grow up in a JW family, nor is anyone else in my immediate family a JW (except my wife and her family). I came in contact with some JW friends back about 13 years ago and studied with an elder and decided that it seemed like everything made sense. I was a non-practicing Catholic, so my bible knowledge was very limited. My family gave me some grief about it initially, but they've come to accept it and our relationships are still very strong. I met my wife 12 years ago at the hall and we've been happily married ever since. She grew up a JW and her parents, especially her mom are very stout JWs.
Fast forward to today. Over the last couple of years, after the birth of our son, I have been taking a much closer look at several key issues; blood, birthdays, the organization and most recently, the "Generation". I've pointed out my findings to my wife (who is very open minded, but yet has had the "truth" imbedded into her her entire life) and she has suggested I talk to the elders. I have had many talks with my elders and they have been completely honest with me and admitted that the society has been wrong on several issues but that there is a refinement of knowledge as the end draws near. I've pointed out the "generation" issue and research to my wife and she is slowly starting to come around that the society is trying to cover their behind with the modification of some of their core beliefs. I even pointed out to her at a meeting a couple of weeks ago how the society in the Watchtower study article changed the reference to Rutherford's talk "Millions now living WILL never die" to "Millions now living MAY never die". I think that she was a bit surprised at that. We're both in good standing with the congregation and attend meetings about 50% of the time due to our busy schedules but I have not gone out door to door for over a year now because of the hypocrisy of the message.
My dilemna is that I have come to realize how the society will bend their teachings to not have to come out and say that they are wrong and that millions of people have been mislead for so many years, but yet, I really do enjoy the friendships of the people at the hall, including the elders. The people in my hall and the elders are very up to date with their thinking and handling of situations, which differs greatly from the people and elders at my in-laws hall. They know I haven't been out in service for over a year and do occassionally invite me to work with them or informally try and give some words of encouragement at informal meetings, but they are never persistent nor over bearing in their attempts.
I would like to get some opinions of whether I should ease my way out, or just keep on going with the understanding with the elders and my wife that I don't agree with the society on several key points, not going out in service and that we'll be celebrating my son's next birthday? I know that my wife is starting to see my point, but I think that she fears a some backlash from her parents as well as not knowing how to let go of something that has been so dear to her for so many years. She was a full time pioneer for 6 years before we were married. We're both in our mid 30's now. I know that some may say to make a clean break, but as I mentioned, we have some close relationships with friends in the hall who know my arguments and may even secretly agree with me. We do have several friends who are not JWs and know that we are, but don't think anything of it because we never press or preach the "truth" to them, so they probably think that most JWs are as easy going as we are. Don't get me wrong, we don't smoke and don't get crazy partying, but we do drink in social settings, watch R rated movies and in general have a appreciation and respect for other people and their beliefs. This is my dilemna.
Any advice or comments would be welcomed :)