sd-7's whining session 3-30-2010 (page 5)

andy5421

I agree with Quill here. Since your no loger a JW you can divorce her as you see fit. If she's gonna be that much of a bitch because you got DF'd, then it shows how much of a two-face she is. If you love and put up with her abuse and in return she craps all over you. Stick it to her and cut bait.

sd-7

Wow, now that's just plain anger comin' out there. Besides, so I ice her, then what? Fact is, I've got no social skills. I'll end up in a far worse situation than I'm in now if I just divorce her. Divorce is not something to be done lightly. I may not agree with the Society on everything, but I do feel that divorcing this woman based on these issues would be a violation of my own moral code. I've done enough to damage my conscience. If this marriage breaks apart, I want to know that I did everything I could to save it, even if she treats me horribly--and maybe I'm picking at things that aren't that big of a deal, you know? Maybe I'm not doing my job properly as a husband.

She got a raw deal, from her point of view, so she's understandably angry with me about a lot. I earned this. Again, sorry for making these issues a public forum debate.

BabaYaga

Sd-7, it seems you have a lot of folks who commented who are on your side, here.

Focus on those.

Love,
Baba.

AudeSapere

She got a raw deal, from her point of view, so she's understandably angry with me about a lot.

Sounds like she'll be angry no matter what happens.

And yet, you are each so clearly not happy with the current arrangement. Considering that THIS life is the real life, how much time and effort do you feel you should invest in contributing to the unhappiness of your own life, your wife's life, and your children's lives. I strongly believe that children who grow up in homes where there is chronic stress, bickering and general disrespect become unhappier adults than those who see their parents actually living happier lives themselves - even if divorced.

Do you really think she will be happier in 20 or 30 years?

Will you?? Or will you be miserable and resentful that you spent youthful years slaving to fix an unfixable situation??

Take a breath. Start journaling. Consider talking things through with a counsellor. A good counsellor will not tell you what to do but will merely help you sort out your thoughts and think possible actions through to probable conclusions.

Most of all, keep breathing. Long and deep breaths. Oh! and with nicer weather on the way, get the kids out at night for some nice long walks without Mom. Hikes into scenic areas if you can. Good bonding time. Different Air. Easy exercise. It will do all of you some good. And mom can have some quiet time at home by herself.

-Aude.

JWoods

Wow, now that's just plain anger comin' out there. Besides, so I ice her, then what? Fact is, I've got no social skills. I'll end up in a far worse situation than I'm in now if I just divorce her. Divorce is not something to be done lightly. I may not agree with the Society on everything,

OK, straight talk SD-7.

First, that's not so much anger as frustration that you are putting up with this crap and then whining about it all the time.

Second, you do have social skills. You are well received here. You seem to me to lack determination, self reliance, and self esteem. I cannot see why you have given over to this woman all the controls to your life and are letting her remote control you like an RC car.

Third, do you actually still agree with the Society on ANYTHING?

With all due respect, James

OUTLAW

Post 1835 of 1836
Since 1/31/2001

Giving details about the marital problems and whining about how awful one's wife is -

I understand that you fell, like most of us regretfully do, that oneself is the centre of the entire Universe,

but these intimate whinings - why don't you DO something in stead of sounding like a selfish little spoilt child. .....OldHippie

sd-7..

Is that post harsh..I don`t think so..

You constantly post about your private life..

"Whoa is me!..My wife is a Bitch ..I`m a Doormat what should I do?..

LOL!!..

How old are you?..

I`m guessing 12 years old,with better than average writing skills..LOL!!

If your Mom is that mean..You should run away from home and go live with your Grandma..

Or..

You could give your Wife a Coupon for McDonalds new "Shut the Fuck Up Burger" and take Charge..

As long as you behave like a Whimp,your Wife will treat you like a Whimp..

Don`t post me back with anything other,than a Solution to your Problem..

No more Whineing..No More my wife is a Meanie!!..

It`s time to put on your Big Boy UnderWare!..

Not the ones you can "Pee In" and Nobody Notices..

....................... ...OUTLAW

sd-7

Good point, Baba. It's weird that I can only see the negatives. Depression, perhaps? I did stop the happy pills abruptly a little before I got married. Moving on...

I mean, maybe I should do more. Maybe if I helped her more, she might love me more, maybe...

I can't get anyone else to like me. I have to find a way to keep her. Maybe becoming an apostate has cost me the one thing I wanted most. Her love. If that's what the price is, maybe I can get brainwashed again and get her back. There has to be an alternative....

But I need to stop now...

sd-7

Ah, Outlaw...where would we be without your usual wit? I actually have been thinking of diapers someday... Any other day, I would actually be irritated.

James, you make some pretty straightforward points. I shouldn't have whined about these issues. I should be fixing them, as an adult would do, without apostate computer help.

And yes, I do agree with Society on some things. "The Word was a god" is the most literal Greek rendering of John 1:1. Actually, "a god was the Word" would be the most literal. And, the best lesson they taught me, above all, was that people have to die for things to change. A lot of people.

Again, sorry about this entry. I don't know what the cuss keeps getting into me that I write about such personal stuff on a forum such as this. It's just painting a big bullseye on myself.

poopsiecakes

sd-7, I know you've said that therapy is out of the question but you seem like an intelligent young man. How about doing some internal role playing? Someone comes to you with one, just one, of the things you're dealing with right now....what advise would you give them? Take yourself out of your own head and assess the situation as if you're on the outside looking in. Work on one thing at a time. You've had a lot of good advice here - which makes the most sense and seems the most practical for your situation? Work from there and get yourself better because wallowing isn't doing anyone any good. If your wife sees you happier and generally lighter in spirit, it may influence her for the better.

sd-7

I've done that before, actually, poopsiecakes. It was very revealing. I just haven't been able to get in touch with that person anymore. I've been completely removed from whoever I was.

Dude, they say to me, shut up about your problems. Dude, I say, shutting up.

sd-7's whining session 3-30-2010

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