sd-7's whining session 3-30-2010

by sd-7 66 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  yknot

  Counseling........ really, seek it as a couple!

  Your wife's 'trust' is clearly broken (as yours is too). She is needling you because she is angry. She needs some new coping skills.

  Communication sounds like it is a s wrecked (geez thank you Mommy Borg).

  50 days....... you should make a point to remedy that pretty quick, it might 'soften' her stance some toward you.... the longer it goes on, the more awkward things are going to get. You need to be her 'center', her 'rock'.........not the WTS.

  If no counseling...... time to set an hour aside and set some 'terms' like you are only attending if she in return reviews the whole of the WTS (WTS material only). You are willing to trade your 'religious freedom' so long as she is willing to study an older publication too. Step up on you FWN position, infuse what you can and demand contextual discussion of all current publications. If she 'balks' at you spiritually taking the lead, drag out 1 Cor 11:3, Eph 5:22-24.....

  >>>>>>> Remember <<<<<<<<

  There is a small child involved and the court system is likely to give her full custody allowing you only every other weekend and all holidays. Which will give you precious little to influence her agains the WTS.

  Lesson: Those who brown-nose the WTS/Elders/CO get slaps on the wrist, those who challenge are reserved for shunning hell...... it is a game, nothing more. You can choose to 'play the game' and get reinstated and than be very 'weak' or you can endure your place as fly on the wall. It is your choice.
• 

  ziddina

  Uhh, SD-7, I'm having a 'psychic' vision here, and it's not a pretty one - well, not at first...

  I sense that your wife isn't going to remain as your wife. The inequality of the situation is going to tear the two of you up - and apart. She's got the "upper" hand, the "whip" hand, over you, due to her 'status' in the congregation versus your lack thereof... Her behavior towards you is reprehensible - and I think you're beginning to get that picture, too...

  She's going to "jerk you around" for a while. She'll blow "hot and cold" - one minute ready to be a docile wife, the next minute hammering at you that you must "repent" and "rejoin the fold"... You'll be very, very dizzy for a while, as a result of her illogical manipulations... She doesn't know her own mind - too cult-indoctrinated, and she'll tend to take that out on you - AS LONG AS YOU CONTINUE TO LET HER....

  I can sense that you'll eventually give up on the marriage AND the cult... [And, in my opinion, YOU SHOULD!!! Not to push you, or anything...] You'll go thru a bleak time - a period of "wandering in the desert", so to speak.

  Eventually, the clouds/dust storms will lift, and you'll begin to see your surrounding terrain much more clearly. You'll move on, you'll heal - with a much clearer view of what it SHOULD mean when someone loves you, and a much clearer picture of how you WANT to be treated - WELL-treated - in your 'mind's eye'...

  And then you'll find a good "life-partner", and will have REAL unconditional, accepting, non-judgmental love - perhaps for the first time in your life...

  DISCLAIMER!! This has been a VISION, and may - or may not - accurately reflect future events... Your mileage may vary...

  [Would be nice if the Watchtower were as honest about THEIR "prophecies", wouldn't it???]
• 

  sd-7

  Dead on right, poopsiecakes. Wow. Never thought of that, just assumed everybody was on her side automatically. Cuss, I wouldn't be surprised if rumors of adultery were already bein' passed around. For those who don't know, NO, there has been nothing like that. And NO, that is NOT on the table as an option, even if that is the only JW escape route. This wouldn't be a suicide mission if I backed out at the last second. I'm goin' down with the ship, or I'm gonna save it--that's how it's gonna be.
• 

  yknot

  .... Sd-7....

  Weren't you officially DFd for 'apostasy'....?
• 

  Stealth

  Your wife should alot like my ex-wife. I put up with her crap for 18 years, while she stayed home and never could make her happy. Then after 18 years, I finally lost that attitude that I will do whatever it takes to make her happy. I became aware the life is way to short to live on a day to day basis with such disfunction. Onice I didn't care anymore, her threats to leave me had no more meaning, she lost her power to manipulate me by using my love for her as a tool.

  Now, close your eyes and picture yourself with a spouse who not only loves you, but respects you! Picture yourself with a spouse who you consider your best friend, one you can't wait to spend time with on the weekends because you like doing the same things. a mate to travel with and experience new adventures together instead of door knocking every weekend. One who you know will always have your back and will not betray your trust.

  It took me two years after I divorced to find that person, now I wonder why I put up with that crap for so long. I am happier then I have ever been in my life and she is still as misserable as ever. The break up was very painful and a major set back financially , but in the long run, I am so much better off and only wish I now had done it sooner.

  Don't waist a day with someone who you will never make happy. Or you can let her slowly kill off your love for her one day at a time until you finally wake up one day and just don't give a damn anymore. Life is short, go live it to it's fullest.
• 

  sd-7

  Ziddina, nice vision, in the end, at least. You'll understand if I try to electronically stone you if none of it takes place, though...

  Oh, dang! The disclaimer. Ah, well.

  Yknot--perhaps you are correct. I never imagined the KH was run by politics, but maybe it's past time to revise that belief. Counseling would be nice--but we've no money for it. Would have to find free counseling, and she would want to be counseled only by elders....we know where that would end up...me assaulting one or more elders....blood everywhere....so...not a good idea right now. Nah...but maybe...
• 

  garyneal

  marking,

  I have to go now and get ready for the memorial. Wife managed to invite someone from her class. It will interesting to see how this goes.
• 

  restrangled

  SD-7

  Will you please stand up for yourself? To Quote you:

  "Then goes into a spiel about how even though, growing up, her mom worked, 'she did her part' in cleaning and assigned chores to my wife, and 'if I didn't do it right, I'd have to do it again'. This said to me, "You're not doing your part in this household, and indeed, even if you do, it has to pass my quality assurance inspection or YOU'LL have to do it again."

  Are you kidding? Seriously, this is one spoiled Diva. When I worked out side the home I expected everyone in the house to pull their weight, no maid or major cooking services.

  Now that I'm home, I consider everything my job, unless I can't lift something heavy, or need something major hired done, etc. The only thing I ask is dishes to the sink and dirty clothes in a hamper.

  Your wife needs a real life lesson....how she has pulled this shxt up to now is because you allowed it and are still feeling guilty.....you should..... for allowing this ridiculous behavior. Put your damn foot down. If she's home with one child, there is no reason she can't keep a house clean and laundry done.

  Her words sound outrageous to me.

  In case you are wondering, I come from a long line of independent women, but one thing I appreciate is a working man that earns enough for me to be home. I will never take that for granted and do all I can to make his life easier.

  r.
• 

  ziddina

  Ziddina here... ~~~~~PING!~~~~~~ ~~~~PING!~~~~ Ducking those electronic stones... !!!!
• 

  out4good3

  It sppears to me that your wife is getting some perverse pleasure out of needling you, particularly about her request that you accompany her to meetings and her wanting to get there "early" so that she can socialize. Just what is she expecting from you in her quest to get you to spend so much time there. I can only imagine what it must be like to be there....basically a person-non-grata, an annoyance to be sure. She's also being, frankly and pardon my expression, a manipulative B*$%^ with her hot-cold emotional states, patronizing, and being equally as selfish as you think you were in not being clear about your conscious towards the religion in the beginning..

  At this point, it appears that all you are is a paycheck and a place to stay to her.

  This woman needs a kick in the pants not only for your sake, but for hers as well. I'm sure she's all aglow playing the victum card while she's with "the friends"......oh woe is me.... I got this DF'd husband.....see there he is right there!!!!! Taking sly looks at you out of the corner of their eyes, and patting her on the back while they bemoan her woeful state.

  Please!!!!

  I must say that your patience is of heroic proportions, but sooner or later, you're going to have have to draw that line in the sand and dare her to cross it. It's going to be an aweful mess for sure to be even worse the longer you wait.