how long in truth,,,what was the final "straw"

peaches

I was in for 30 years.....my ex was an elder...."holy spirit appointed" he tortured me....i was married 33+ years....you know,,,marriage is sacred...you can leave,,,i know,,,,if abuse is intolerable....but that starts a series of events...etc etc etc....i finally left everything...and moved far away.....people actually believe "holy spirit" appoints people,,,my ex would not pray unless there was an audience...you know,,,,people invited over for supper kind of thing,,,you get the point....

my best friend had a mental breakdown,,,,she basically became psychotic.....had to be hospitalized....she took up smoking,,,got disfellowshipped...and lost all emotional support....to this day,,,,as far as i know,,,she is still disfellowshipped...needs to be hospitialized every so often....she is on complete disability.....and still trying to get back into the org....her mother does support some what,,,,even though she is a witness herself,,,,,takes her to assemblies,,,,memorial,,,etc,,,,this has gone on for years.....she cannot mentally handle the organization,,,nor can she mentally handle not being a witness...lost everything....guilt....etc....

did not mean to ramble on so much......i have mental scars that will not go away....because i stayed in a "mess" for god,,,,i could write page after page of things like the above....as being my "last straw".......curious about you here on the board....any specific "breaking point" or a collection of many things..... thanks for your in put...peaches

rockmehardplace

last straw - the people

Designer Stubble

Last straw was taking receipt of the "God's Love" book at the 2008 district convention and seeing its unloving manipulative controlling approach (rather than any "reform") is what got me to finally research my years long doubts starting with ordering and reading "Crisis of Conscience".

JeffT

In for fifteen years (about). Went in the year I graduated from college (1973) stopped going to meetings etc in 1988 and DA'd in 1989. I had grown tired of running on the JW treadmill. The straw that broke the camel's back was a talk at a CA in early 1988. They really hammered the no higher ed thing. I wanted better for my kids, and after going through 1975 I just couldn't build my life, or the children's lives, around something that was always coming 'soon.'

peaches

the society has lightened up a bit on the "school" issue.....at least that seems how it was when i was still going....been a few years....guess they realized cleaning businesses,,,,or working at a retail store for minimal wage just does not cut it in the real world...

Heaven

Peaches, we all hope that abuse is temporary, that's why we stay so long and endure. Unfortunately, it usually isn't. But we live in hope... a hope that one day, things will change... that they will get better. We hope this person or group that is treating us badly will one day realize they are doing wrong. In my experience, it was only when I created my own plan and executed it that I gained any sort of resolution.

As far as my JW experience goes, it was about the time I turned 16 when I realized it wasn't for me. That was 30 years ago. I did not agree with becoming some man's slave (aka 'subject') in marriage. I did not agree with the subjugation of women in this organization. My life plans were all about something way better than that. I watched first-hand how 'headship' wasn't working between my parents. There were some major league problems between them that they weren't working on resolving. My Mom basically abdicated all responsibility for her life to my Dad. That just doesn't work. "Wait on Jehovah" and "Jehovah is going to fix everything" just didn't work either. And my Mom, after 16 years of vehemently denying the plausibility of Evolution, admitted that "well, there might be something to it, afterall." I was also starting to realize that I didn't agree with the JW interpretation of scripture. The idea that you have to hand out Watchtower and Awake! magazines to gain eternal life wasn't backed up by the Bible. I didn't agree with the blood doctrine and my questions were not being answered even though I was told they would be.

So I put my life plan together, got a part-time job, got through high-school, and then went to College in the city, away from my parents. I got a job that made me very busy and quite unavailable. Up until recently, there has always been a certain amount of pressure to become a JW from my parents. Even though I've told them numerous times that it wasn't for me, they kept trying.

My Mom is gone now, almost 8 years. My Dad is old now, and having difficulty remember things. He told me the other day he doesn't understand what they are saying at the meetings.

straightshooter

I was a jw for 35 years.

When my daughter got disfellowshipped and the BOE came after me for not kicking her out of the house. When I started to realize that my dear friends who died without seeing the Paradise didn't see it in their lifetime. And when I started to read the postings on this wonderful site.

goldensky

Dear Peaches, I'm truly sorry you are carrying those scars and very sincerely hope time will be a healing factor for you.

I was a devout witness for 45 years, since the age of 3 till almost one year ago. I had been having doctrinal doubts for the previous two years and praying hard about it, while totally involved with the congregation. I woke up one Sunday morning (that week I had gone to all my meetings, answered profusely at all of them, gone out in service my usual two or three days, as I had been doing for as long as I can remember) and a whole different picture popped up in my mind: Jehovah was not directing the organization and, since he was not answering such a legitimate prayer for more faith, chances were he had never listened to me or to any other human for that matter. In a couple of hours I made up my mind and the next day I announced to my presiding overseer I'd never go back to meetings, no reasons given. I've never regretted it: the prospects in front of me ever since that momentous day are too bright to miss any of it looking back.

I wish you peace of mind and many happy days.

Emma

I had grown tired of running on the JW treadmill.

Me, too, Jeff. And then there were a few last straws for me. One was the super-pompous hall we'd begun attending; I'd never experienced anything like it in all my years in the borg. Then, I stopped believing that 99% of the world was bad enough to be slaughtered and that most of those in the org were not. When I cried tears of saddness when my oldest got baptized I knew I was seriously on the way out.

I was raised from almost a baby in the org, got baptized in 1966 (OK, giving away my age) and left in about 1993. I honestly can't remember the year but it was sort of gradual.

its_me!

Peaches, Honestly, it was the lack of "brotherly affection" that I saw in the organization. The harsh judging, the gossiping, the slander, the way women were made to feel like a second class citizen. It all just got to be too much. I kept trying so hard to do what I thought I was supposed to do, but it was never enough. If God knows my heart condition already, and he is a loving god, then I am trusting Him to judge my heart. Not the elders, not the other publishers.

how long in truth,,,what was the final "straw"

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