Hi,
I stumbled across this website a few months back and have often read the topics posted but this is the first time that I've posted anything myself.
All my family are JWs - I got baptized when I was 17 but started to fade when I was about 20 and finally left at 22 when I managed to escape to university and move away from home. Ten years on and I am still out of the org but never disfellowshipped (although I would have been if they'd have known what I've been up to!). The relationship with my family is not great - i get on with some members better than others. My mother is quite dogmatic and controlling, my sister is arrogant, my dad is lovely and my brother is a dude.
Although I've been out for a long time the issues involved with the whole JW thing can still upset me sometimes, particularly the threat of your family cutting you off if you say/do anything contradictory to their religion. That is why I am happy (in a way) living quite a distance from them - i can maintain a 'worldly' life without them knowing ('worldly' being not having absolutely anything to do with JWs, living with my boyfriend before I married him, celebrating Xmas, b'days, etc, getting drunk and eating black pudding!).
I still find it very hard to talk about my life as a JW and my JW family to new people I meet, and I have a number of friends that don't even know about my past! It's as if I feel embarrassed/ashamed about it but then I feel guilty about feeling ashamed?! What a messed up mind still! Does anybody else feel this way?
Even with all the baggage of being out of the org that I don't think will ever fully leave me, the experiences I've had since being out -and the mistakes I've made - have helped me grow enormously as a person and when I reflect on all the things i have learned (critical thinking being the most important) I'm so glad I was strong enough at the time to just leave.
Some of the posts here are quite venomous about JWs but I don't think it's a good thing to be bitter about anything - bad for your mental health! It's ok to be sad sometimes, but not good to hold a grudge.
Anyway chaps, I'll probably be posting again soon. Nice to meet you.
Take care
