Please don't say, "Yes, for obvious reasons".
It's not obvious to me.
Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?
by goldensky 68 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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snowbird
If I really cared about him, I would be devastated.
Sylvia
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carla
You have difficulty understanding a vow (promise) to remain loyal and faithful to one person?
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awildflower
If I were truly, truly in love with him and he did that just for the thrill of it, no obvious reason, then yes I'd be devastated. If your in a situation where there are big marital problems, I'd wonder why it took so long and might even encourage it!
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mrsjones5
I would not be shattered but I would be really disappointed.
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goldensky
No, Carla, I don't think that's the difficulty... (I'm thinking). I think what I don't understand is what it is about sex that is so sacred...
I know this is weird, and the last thing I want to do is shock anyone. I'm sincerely trying to understand why I seem to have always felt so differently about this subject from everybody around me, if there are more (especially women) who feel a little bit like me. Your opinions may help me to understand myself better. It's not something that bothers me, but it does arouse my curiosity.
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MMXIV
Don't know till it happens. I think yes. Because that's what we understand is a part of the marriage commitment. Because it would feel like I wasn't good enough in bed or enough of a sexual partner for them.
How shattered would depend on how I found out and if they'd tried to lie about it and if love was involved. If they came clean straight away and were honest and it was a one-off it would be less shattering than if it was repeated, they lied to cover it up and you found out from someone else. The latter resulting in a total loss of trust.
If it was agreed up front - indecent proposal style then I think one could find ways to not be shattered. For $1m that is.
MMXIV
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goldensky
Really, girls, I'm very interested in knowing why sex precisely seems to be such a big thing (you men are also very, very welcome, but for some reason - ha, ha - I'm more interested in female comments). I mean, I've often derived far more pleasure from an interesting and deep conversation with a man other than my husband than from making love with my husband (and he is very sweet and everything a woman needs, but in spite of that at the end of that day I was much more satisfied with, say, that conversation with a male (or female) friend than from the love-making). I don't know if I'm making myself understood.
I'll be back in a while. I have to pick up my kids.
I love you.
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mrsjones5
It's not the sex that's sacred, it's the intimate relationship that's sacred. Stepping out on a intimate relationship to have sex with another is total disrespect of your mate/partner/spouse.
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snowbird
Let me announce straight up that I'm out of my league here, but I'll say this anyway.
I married young - age 19 - and was completely clueless as to what sexual intimacy entailed.
Instead of being patient and working out our problems, that hedonistic idiot cheated on me time and time again; I grew to hate him!
After our divorce, 10 years passed before I became interested in another. Well, we got married, but he couldn't stand my daughter, who was a teen and as rebellious as they come. The resultant turmoil led to our separation. I feel as if I've had it with men!
However, I do feel in my heart that true love and harmony with a man is possible, and were I to find such a man, I would be devastated if he had relations with another woman.
I don't think it's the sex per se with another that would bother me, but the intimacy.
Am I making sense?
Sylvia