I need you help! When I was a child my dad exposed himself at work, but older elder just told me it never happened.

by life is to short 23 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    OK I came from a very crazy family. Lots of abuse. My dad exposed himself to me from the age of three until I left home at 18. My dad did lots of gross things but that is not the jest of this post.

    One of the things my dad did that I clearly remember was exposing himself in the elevator at work to woman twice and he almost got fired for it. My dad is dead now and denied that it happened and said it was all a set up. But I clearly remember him almost getting fired over it. I was just a kid about 7 or 8 years old. Why would I make that up? How could I make that up? The fighting between my mom and dad over it I clearly remember.

    OK now to today. In my hall there were three child molesters, another long story. So I have been really upset with the elders not informing anyone, another long story.

    So tonight I went by an older elders home to ask why the child molesters are allowed to do what they want including holding children etc in the hall.

    This elder who is in his late 80's worked with my dad and held a job above my dad, he was from what he said best friends with the boss. My dad hated this elder but the elder say that he never knew it and thought my dad really life him. My dad wanted to kill this elder. My dad was crazy and wanted to kill many people including me. As a child I felt one day my dad might kill me and the whole family. When I mentioned that my dad exposed himself at work the elder said how do you know? I said my dad talked about it at home. The elder said no never happened. I said it clearly did happen the elder said no the boss would have told me. You are mistaken your dad never exposed himself at work. Then the elder said only you say it happened and only you say that your dad exposed himself to you but how do the rest of us know?

    I was blown away. I am trying to not let it get me down. It is like this elder is saying that I am making all of this up. That I was never abused.

    Before we moved into this hall I met with all the elders and told them that I was molested as a child and that my dad masturbated in front of me and that I needed to be away from child molesters. Now six and half years latter this elder said I was totally in the wrong to talk to the elders before we moved to the hall. I was a woman and as such I should have told my husband what to say and I should have just sat there while my husband related to the body my abuse because as a woman has no place to speak to elders. I was blown away. I told him my abuse was my pain and my husband could not and should not relate how I feel that as a woman I am not stupid. He said I never mentioned that my dad masturbated in front of me as a child that I just babbled about stupid things when I met with the elders and none of the elders understood why I was talking. I was so blown away. I said then why did one of the elders come to me and say I was brave for telling them my past. He just looked blank at me.

    He than said our state is a none reporting state and the the elders do not have to tell anyone who a pedophile is in the hall. I said but you could tell parents he said yes but since it is not the law there is no reason to tell anyone. He said the "friends" would figure it out by the fact that the child molesters never say prayer.

    I just looked at him and said you are kidding right. He was dead serious. I said would it not be loving to at least let the "friends" know you have a level 3 sex offender in the hall and a man who likes to put his penis in little girls mouths. He just repeated that we live in a none reporting state and the elders do not have to tell anyone.

    OK I trying not to be down but did I did not make up my abuse. Why would I make it up about my dad?

    I feel like I am going crazy in this religion. Help me to not feel so horrible right now.

    Life is to short.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Maybe the reason you feel you're going crazy in this religion is a little voice in the back of your head is screaming for you to get out of the crazy religion and you're not listening because you think somehow someone in that crazy religion is really gonna care and listen to you. How long are you gonna scream?

  • Highlander
    Highlander

    Stop going to the kingdom hall. While you're at it, let everyone at the hall know who the pedophiles are. Print some fliers. Wear a sandwhich billboard and walk in front of the kingdumb hall.

    Not one person there has your best interests in mind. It's up to you to leave or change congregations if you do not like the current situation there. Depending on other people is foolish at best, dangerous at worst. It's time to do what is best for you and your family.

  • alanv
    alanv

    It really doesn't surprise me what the elder said to you. They are taught to protect the org. at all costs. I live in the UK where the policy is to report it to the police.

    I don't see that scriptually it matters if you live in a non reporting state. It is always going to be wrong to cover up serious sins or crime in a congregation.

    I totally agree with the others, get out and seperate yourself from these people. It is clearly not a religion that God approves of.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Get out the JW-cult and get into therapy. Work your way through the emotional trauma caused by your childhood experiences with a professional. Good Luck.

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    I am out. I have not been to meetings for a year. I have the elders running scarred. I am only talking to them because I am just trying to stop the child molesters from harming children.

    I understand that the elders are crazy, I get that but what I do not understand is how I can refute this about my dad not exposing himself to me. He exposed himself to a sister at the hall but it was like it might have been an accident. If this elder who is so old and so sure that I am making all of this up what chance do I have to be believed? That is what hurts. I was abused and now I am being reabused.

    I know the truth that my dad ran around naked in front of me all of my childhood but this man is making it seem that I am crazy and everyone of the JW's will believe him over me.

    So part of this post is to show everyone what the Jehovah's Witnesses do to victims of abuse. Look at me I am 46 years old and being told that I am making this all up. What chance would a child have at being believed in the JW world. NONE.

    I am sorry I do not mean to be ranting but this only shows how the Watchtower Org covers up child abuse.

    LITS

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    I bet the old elder, knew about the abuse, but has either blocked it out or decided to deny that it ever happened, to protect himself. Otherwise he'd have to accept his part of the abuse. The knowing and not protecting a child, you.

    I'm sorry this has happened to you.

    I hope you find a way to protect the other children. You know that old elder isn't going to be helpful.

    lisa

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    Thank you Lisa that was so kind of you to say.

  • Brocephus
    Brocephus

    From the elders point of view you are crazy because you have turned from Jehovah. Everything else is moot, you are crazy in their eyes and will not have credibility. That is why they dismiss you so easily. That and I can count on one hand the elders I met that actually gave a crap about PEOPLE and saw themselves are real leaders. Most are just company men, to keep everyone selling books.

  • cry
    cry

    I can relate to your post, not personally, but my best friend had a similar situation - not JWs. Her dad masturbated in front of her regularly and when her mum found out the solution was for my friend to go and live in a caravan at the bottom of the garden! Unbelievalbe, but true. She spent her teenage years in a frozen caravan - so that she wouldn't 'tempt' her father! She never wanted to involve the authorities, but she never got over the fact that her mum saw 'her' as the problem. I encouraged her to get counselling, which she did, and it helped greatly. Sadly, she died at only 38years of age and at her funeral her dad was crying and wailing. I wondered if his grief was over what he had done. I will never know. Unfortunatley it's not only the org. that keeps it hidden or attempts to put the blame on the victim.

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