garyneal, I'm not good at giving advise. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry for what you're going through. I liked what Nathan said and hope that one day that will happen with my husband as well as with your wife.
My Wife Got Baptized into the Organization Yesterday
by garyneal 67 Replies latest members private
-
-
anewme
I have seen it all after being a long time in the org.
Your best plan of action should be to keep the family unit strong.
Emphasize family unity and family outings.
Dont let the Watchtower steal away your family time.
Plan on some Saturdays and Sundays doing something as a family.
Be the head of your house and be certain your wife knows you are.
Do not allow unhappy conversations about Armageddon in your home.
Tell her how creepy and sad those thoughts are and how awful you think they affect your daughter.
Keep reminding her how sad, boring, creepy, depressing you think the meetings are.
Keep offering to take her to happy places on meeting days and evenings.
Laugh and be a happy person yourself. Be confident of your more upbeat view on life.
Invite happy family members and friends of yours over to share normal conversation and laughter.
(Believe me, one day she will see the difference. One day she will be sitting there listening to some boring talk and she will wince at the creepiness and the putdowns and fear tactics and think of you and all your comments about how unhealthy the Watchtower Society is and how controlling and in her heart for the first time she will agree.....and the seed has been planted and will grow.
But you have a long road.
Every opportunity to act shocked about a story she tells of witness behavior, take it and run with it. Do not let up.
You will have to carry on your own war of counter-brainwashing at home.
-
anewme
Oh I might add, arguing Biblical truths with a witness is not the best strategy.
Keep it simple. Just tell her over and over how many times they have cried "Armaggeddon" over the years.
It is a stunning fact. They have simply BLOWN IT on that point. And that is the main urgency of getting baptized these days...to survive the big A. I have a complete list of the many many years they published the end was absolutely imminent.
This was how my new husband helped me to recover from the organization's brainwashing.
So I know this works.
I finally saw the gimmick and the scam for what it was. I was a victim of it myself in 1972.
Every time they say Armaggeddon is near they draw new converts through the resurge in the Pioneer ranks. Bible studies go up and through their quick six month bible study program they increase the number of baptisms all over the world.
-
anewme
Just read your reply about your wifes college plans. Really really impress upon her how foolish quitting is.
I like your reasoning turning the tables around and asking her how she would feel if you quit?
Tell her to continue her studies and after she graduates she can do what she likes with the degree.
Stupid Watchtower Brainwashers! You should read the many tragic stories of careers and opportunities lost due to the
meddling of the Watchtower. Look around the kingdom hall! Does anyone look alive, vibrant, happy and fullfilled?
NO! NO ONE! Because they are all miserable. They have all given up everything to be there...waiting for the big A.
They gave up careers, friends,family, houses, vacations, weekend fun, inheritences, getting married in some cases and having children,
travelling, and even their own birthdays and blood .....all in hopes Gods angels wont spear them through the genitals at the big A.
What a way to live! If you call that living.
-
sd-7
Just be careful about how you handle this. Look for chances to speak about freedom of mind in subtle ways. I can't give advice, my marriage is totally frakked because of this religion. Good luck, dude. Make sure you don't argue about the doctrine or 'the organization'--that'll be the end of it all for your relationship with your wife.
-
greenie
Wow, GaryNeal, what a frustrating spot to be in: your wife admits she has doubts and still gets baptized; my JW won't admit to any doubts, but still makes no moves to get reinstated and baptized. I really hope this all works out for you.
-
steve2
Posters should save their dubiously unhelpful sadness for under-age children who "choose" to get baptized into the organization. Don't bother wasting your sadness on adults who choose to get baptized. If gary's wife is anything like millions of others who've been baptized, she'll soon wake up and find a way out. Contrary to the way some people speak, I've never before seen a prison with so many exits.
-
garyneal
steve2
While my wife decided to be baptized as an adult, she is also a born in with lots of family in the religion. While she tries to tell me that she is not choosing this religion because of family, I still find that hard to believe. If she did not have so much family in this religion, I doubt she would've return considering the freedom she found outside of it for the past seven years.
-
steve2
If she did not have so much family in this religion, I doubt she would've return considering the freedom she found outside of it for the past seven years.
yes, in that regard the JWs become an established 'family' religion in which you join because others in your family are members. I once thought JWs were uniquely different from other religions because most of the ones getting baptized were converts from other religions or no religion at all. Nowadays, the bulk of the "growth" is from those raised in the religion. Still, the back door is very accommodating to the urge to leave, although when one's family's involved, that back door might seem like more of a revolving door.
-
garyneal
Thanks for your feedback and support everyone. I took everything each of you said to heart. Perhaps my wife will see the man behind the curtain more so now that she is fully on the inside. At any rate, I can imagine that the requirements of this religion are going to be more than she can handle. She may buckle, or she may just coast along, or she may blame me for not being more 'spiritual.' If the latter, I will just continue to remind her in the most loving way that she chose this life by marrying me. I've had to accept this months ago that the kind of marraige I was hoping for is not exactly the one I got either but that does not mean that life comes to an end.
jehovahsheep: Thanks, I do plan to support her in any way that I can. I know she will eventually need it.
bluegrass: You may be right. I hope and pray that you are not, but you may be right. In either case, I am not going to worry about it and just take one day at a time.
GL Tirebiter: Thanks for your words of advice and support.
LITS: I am sorry to hear that you spent so many years following a lie but don't count them as wasted years. You learned something very valuable and that is something the society cannot take away. Besides, as long as you have your health, it is not too late. Enjoy the new found freedom that you have and enjoy the present time. If you've seen that movie 'Witnesses of Jehovah' then I am sure you can at least relate to what Leonard Chretian said near the end concerning all of the years he spent as a Jehovah's Witness. He does not count them as wasted.
torn in two sons: The God Delusion, hmmm. Considering how she avoids my other 'apostate' literature I am not sure if that will help.
Wuz: I know what you mean about the blood thing. It really bothers me too. I plan to contact her pediatrician and my doctor to see what my options are. They make some good points concerning the risks of blood but I firmly believe that their stance on it is too unreasonable. Are you and your hubby still together? I recall sometime back you said things did not work out.
PSac: Your dad? Good grief. How did he get roped in the 'truth?' Thank you for your prayers, your dad will be in mine as well.
Heaven: Thanks for the information. Definitely a scary thought. As over protective as I am over my child, if something like this happens, it will not be pretty. Calling the cops and if the elders stand in the way, calling an attorney.