by garyneal 67 Replies latest members private
I just had the same happen to me with a close friend of mine today. It's hard because you wouldn't want to yank them away as soon as they start. On the other hand,
"The God Delusion? On the kitchen table? Honey, I don't know how that could've gotten there. Let's make sure it's the real thing and open it up..."
Torn In Two Son
Oh man...I am SO sorry to hear this. But you really cant stop people from doing this if they are so inclined. Meanwhile back in reality...dont wait for the time when you are confronted with the blood issue. I didnt catch your daughters age, but make sure you submit in writing to her school and her pediatrician that NO decisions are to be made about her health care, particularly in an emergency, WITHOUT CONTACTING YOU. And tell them why. This isnt new to them but if they have something, preferably notarized, from you directing them to contact you and not do ANYTHING until you are in voice contact with them, then you are at least safer with regards to the blood issue.
My husband told me he "didnt know what he would do under those circumstances and would have to see how he feels if it happens" with regard to giving blood to our children if need be. I looked him right in the eye and said "If you ever withhold medical treatment from any of our children, and it results in hurting them or one of them dies because of it..I will hunt you down like a dog and kill you, or failing that...you will never be allowed to see the other two again. I hope you are clear on that." He just gave me the patented JW "fuck you" smirk.
Mmm hm. Dont trust her.
When I saw my Dad getting baptized last year, it broke my heart...there was an emptiness there, a profound sense of loss and failure on my part.
I feel fro you Brother, I truly, with all my heart, feel for you and pray for the Lord Jesus to give you and your daughter all the strengthen and Love you need.
Heaven:
I think this is called 'foreshadowing'.
What does that mean?
Gary, 'foreshadowing' is a literary technique used by a writer to provide clues for the reader to be able to predict what may occur later on in the story.
There have been stories documented here on JWN of elders taking children into 'the back room' to give them 'shepherding' WITHOUT the knowledge or consent of the parents. Perhaps you should let your wife know about this little technique. To me, this is a VERY scarey thing especially when we know pedophiles are among the JWs. I hope with all my heart that your daughter never has to deal with any form of abuse at the hands of another JW.
I also hope that Nathan Natas is 100% correct and that your wife's exit will be sooner rather than later.
I could only stomach the first half of the assembly on Saturday morning
You must have a high threshhold for pain to sit through that much.
I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'm glad she is married to a non-believer who loves her. There is hope.
Post-baptism, often things are not as they appear. The love bombing falls to a lower level. Personaly responsibility ("keeping your mind right", in the words of Cool Hand Luke) becomes the focus. Perhaps she'll be willing to use her critical thinking skills as she meets with disappointments within the WT organization.
Some great advice here. Your daughter is clearly a chip off the old block - bored by meetings already and appreciates all the rescue missions - keep that up! As for the missus - it's a long road and there's always a turning. Just make sure you've planted those clever seeds so she'll come to you with the "you told me so".
MMXIV
If anyone doubts that JWs can break up families, just show 'em this thread.
And then the Dubs twist the broken family angle into "proof" that they have "the truth." It's sickening.
Thoughts and prayers for you and yours, Gary.
Hello all,
Since I am at work I will just make this brief response to all who responded to my posts so far. To begin with, yeah my wife does think that since I am out of town and not going to my church on Sundays then she may feel like she has more ammunition to argue for my daughter’s spiritual needs while we are at assemblies and seeing parents out of town. However, churches are everywhere and I was even thinking that I should’ve argued that I take my daughter with me to church on Sunday morning. This argument is even more potent during weekend assemblies since Saturday will almost certainly be devoted to my wife’s religion and as much as I now loathe being there I would still go just for the sake of my daughter’s protection. During the weekend visit there, I drove past at least two churches that I am considering attending on our next weekend assembly trip.
I am not totally opposed to her religion, just in areas that I feel can be damaging to my child. I’ve already told her and her elder that the main reason why I would not consider becoming a witness is their blood doctrine. To ask witness parents to sacrifice the life of their child over an organizational policy and tell them that by giving a child blood they are endangering their chances for everlasting life as well as the everlasting life of their child cannot be very loving at all. When the elder’s wife asked me whether or not I would do what Jehovah tells me, I respond, “Of course, but you got to understand that depending on who you ask, Jehovah can say a lot of different things.” I wish I had thought of it at the time but I should’ve also point out that depending on when you ask, Jehovah could also be saying different things. After giving it much thought, I think I would just rather save my child’s life and if necessary go to Hell in my child’s place than cut her life short over a much-disputed interpretation of the Bible. Frankly, how can I trust that the organization can get this right if they cannot get so many of their other interpretations right?
I am not opposed to my wife choosing to not celebrate holidays. If she were a Muslim or a Jew, I doubt that she would be celebrating the Christmas with me either. People choose whether or not to celebrate holidays for a variety of reasons and I respect them all. The only issue I have is the unhealthy influence her religion may have on my daughter’s view of holidays and birthdays. When my wife use to celebrate with me, she would always say, “I am going to die for this.” Saying it with a grave look on her face.
To me, these are components of mind control and when my wife actually begins thinking freely, she can come up with some interesting thoughts concerning her religious teachings. The bottom line is, free thought should be encouraged but as we all know, this religion does not permit that. While I know that many churches are the same way, I also know that I have been in churches that were highly dogmatic in some of their over the top assertions that had no basis in the Bible. I watch out for those too and try to steer clear of those kinds of churches because I’ve experienced first hand their damaging effects on my psyche. There are times when I can actually see the wisdom in my parents’ decision not to attend church after their incident involving my step-dad’s old primitive Baptist church.
Concerning whether or not my marriage is now screwed. Perhaps, but what use is it for me to worry about that? I know some marriages survive this and many do not. At least I can say that I did not blindly choose to become a Jehovah’s Witness and decide later on to fade because I no longer believed in it. Hopefully that will at least make it more endurable. My hats go off to all individuals who were in the ‘truth’ and later ‘apostatized’ while still married to a devout witness spouse. I can only imagine the eggshells you all find yourselves walking on. The fact that you all are still holding it together is remarkable, my thoughts and prayers go out to you all. As for me, my best bet now is to lay off the discussions over religion. My wife did agree to do a Bible reading with me and I agreed that it would just be that, a Bible reading with no inclination to discuss doctrine. The elders can’t say that I am opposed to my wife’s beliefs when I still believe in the one thing (the Bible) that is the whole basis of it.
As far as my wife choosing to quit college, she knows that her job as well as all of her grant money is contingent on her completing that degree. If she quits school, she stands to lose her job as well as be required to pay back all of the grants she received. She works for Headstart and is under their project vision grant program. They agree to pay all of her schooling as long as she agrees to complete her degree in early childhood development. During this time, she can be a teacher under their licensing program. If she quits, she can no longer teach as she would not have the qualifications of a bachelor’s degree and would be forced to stop teaching under licensing requirements. If any of the elder’s wives or other meddling Jehovah’s Witnesses push her to quit school, I would just turn it around and ask her how she would feel if a pastor at my church kept pressuring me to do something that could be detrimental to my ability to support my family? I was at church one Sunday and I recall their playing a video showing a young couple giving all of their money to a church offering. They both realized that they had no money for bills after that but the Lord blessed them and they found groceries in their car and a check in their mailbox for more than enough money than they needed. Would my wife agree to my giving away my entire paycheck to my church on the basis of this one testimony? Somehow, I doubt it. Still though, what if she does follow their advice? The only thing I can say right now is I don’t know and unless it happens I cannot worry too much about it.
More to come.
