***URGENT Advice Needed*** (page 3)

babygirl30

Thank you all for your support!!!! FYI - I'm grown (32) - so my parents opinion doesn't matter, but I still have residuals of JW teachings sometimes. Today is just REALLY stressful...just got off the phone with pre-admissions and officially registered. I have been 'fasting' since 8am, had nothing more then a bagel and some juice - and at 12 I am to clear a bottle of magnesium citrate? And at 4pm I will get the phone call with my surgery time UGH!!!!! So the process begins.

I am currently filling out a POA form NOW...so that all my wishes can be honored when I'm in the hospital. I appreciate ALL the advice everyone...will be back afterwards to give updates!

dgp

I think a lot of good advice has been given to you. I just would like to summarize it. You're no longer a JW, and therefore are not bound by their rules anymore. They pushed you out. Find someone who will consider preserving your life and wellbeing as the primary goal, and give that person authority to decide for you "just in case". Go to where people will do whatever it takes to save your life. Yes, ask the hospital to restrict visitors to those you can trust to save your life. Once you're out of the surgery, go recover where you will find unquestioning support for your decision to save your life, not to where they will criticize you for staying alive.

It is only natural to try to stay in touch with your parents now that you're undergoing surgery. They should provide you with all of their support. That's probably what they think they are doing; I don't think they have come to the point where they dont' care about you. The fact that your mother was crying over the elder's refusal to have anything to do with you is proof of this. They aren't helping you the way you would expect them to, or the way they should if they had a non-JW perspective, but don't let that get to you.

You have plenty of friends in this board. If it's not burdensome to you, once you're out of the surgery, keep us posted about your recovery. This kind of moral support is all we can do from the distance, but we'll do it for you.

I don't pray, but I have you in my mind, even though I have never seen your face.

snowbird

Baby Girl, this here is your Big Sister down in Alabama.

You have been given excellent advice by all who replied, so I'm just gonna hold your hand and advise you to follow it.

I will be praying that you will find a measure of peace and comfort during the procedure.

Keep the faith (non-JW), baby!

Sylvia

Dagney

Thinking of you. As twisted as it sounds, your family wants what they think is best for you, and do not understand where you, and all of us here, stand now.

Good advice here. We are all wishing you strength and healing.

tmj4477

If you can get a legal document (i think its called a living will) to stipulate who do you want to make decisions for you. If you dont do this the decision will default to your next of kin which will be your parents.

Best of Luck to you and I hope you feel better.

shopaholic

babygirl30, wish I could give you a BIG HUG right now!!!

Family can really mess with your head sometimes and the JW thing doesn't help. Informing your parents about your surgery was the right thing to do. Hope you have a successfull, event-free surgery.

Sending positive vibes your way...

babygirl75

I'm sure you are stressed and anxious over your surgery, but I'm sure you will be fine. I've had at least five surgeries since I was df'd and blood has never been an issue, and yes some were "bloody" surgeries. Contacting JW family can only add to your stress, so I'd keep contact down to a minimum now until after your recovery.

If you are willing to accept blood then let your doctors know and then try to relax!! It's not good for your recovery to be so stressed!

hope it all goes well.

Babygirl75...

rebel8

There is no conspiracy among health care professionals to give blood when it's not needed. (I have hemophilia so I know a thing or two.)

That being the case, do what you already know is right--get the best care available. Tell your team you want to avoid blood if possible but you are ok with it if it's needed, and you trust their judgement.

The Hospital Liasion Committee's TM job is to interfere with medical care and confidentiality. Do not allow them to have access to you, don't let them visit, don't give them any information.

If they show up at your parents' request, ask them to leave and refuse to get into a discussion of why (it's none of their business--just keep politely saying "I don't want to visit with you, please leave").

When you're checking in, make absolutely certain your medical record has you listed as anything other than a dub. That way the hospital will not be allowed to notify them you're there (as clergy can).

Then try to put all this cult crap out of your mind as much as possible and focus on getting well.

Scarred for life

You've gotten great advice here. Lean on your true friends and take their help. Let us know.

Leprechaun

Well, this is what I would do. I have some paralegal experience, I am not an attorney mind you, but that being said, I would go to an attorney and simple tell him that you want your legal rights represented on paper and have him or her draw it up for you, it will not cost much. Some states are different concerning such matters thus the reason for going to an attorney to make your wishes known. Once the hospital and the Witnesses for that matter, know that you are being represented by legal counsel concerning this issue I am confident you will have no problem about accepting or refusing blood.

http://www.biblestudents.net/food4jws/wt_beliefs/

http://www.ajwrb.org/basics/abstain.shtml

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