Hey everyone!
I will be going into the hospital for surgery on Tues...my first one EVER! The surgeon has gone over the procedure and informed me that it's 'bloody' and so she gave me all my options. Of course I left the office with the mindset that whatever I need done surgery (blood transfusion) that I would accept it - reasoning in MY mind that I am no longer a JW, THEY decided to DF me and kick me out, so I am no longer bound by THEIR rules.
So after 6 mos of no contact at all, I stopped by my parents house on my way home from the dr's to inform them about my upcoming surgery. To be honest, I'm ot really sure WHY I felt the need to tell them - guess it's just my 'daughterly duty' to make them aware of what was going to happen so as least they knew (courtesy)...but it opened a door I'm not sure I WANTED opened. YES I miss being able to openly talk to my family and see them whenever, and I have worked very hard at accepting their decision to shun me. What's bothering me NOW is the fact that they are 'involved'. See, when I stopped by my mom was praciting a 'talk' with another sister in her cong - so when she came to the door and I told her what was happening in 5 days, she told me what she was doing and asked if she could call me? I told her yes and left. I made it 5 mins around the corner and she called me to come BACK to the house right away...so i did. She lets me in the sister she was practicing with was sitting RIGHT THERE...my mom asked me to go back in her room and wait till she was done - which was fine with me (the sister she was with is an a$#). So she finishes up and comes and lays on the bed and procedes to ask me what I'm going to do and the schedule for everything...things were ok till she brought up the blood issue and STRONGLY suggested that I look into going to the hospital she had her surgeries in because they have a 'bloodless center' there RUN by JWs in that area. She throws this elders number at me and tell me to 'call him right away' cause he is in charge of the hospital liason committee and I should talk to him becaues the hospital my surgery will be in is NOT considered a 'bloodless option' and they supposedly have given countless JWs and issue with that choice??? Now here is my issue:
1. I am NOT a JW anymore...haven't been for over 1yr now.
2. WHY in the hell would I want to travel an hour away JUSt to have surgery at a hospital that has a 'bloodless' center BUT is run BY all JWs when I'm not one of them any longer AND would possibly make an issue?
3. WHAT reason do I have to call an elder...especially the one in charge of the liason? Um...I don't need HIS help.
So all WEEK my mom and dad have been calling to see HOW I feel, HOW i'm doing, IF I needed anything, AND offered for me to move IN with them after my surgery. HUH??????? I'm so confused...my mom ended up calling this elder on her own and he told her exactly what I said - they can't HELP me because I'm in a 'DFd state' - hahahahahaha that just sounds so funny - and so there is nothing HE can do. My mom started crying to ME about it...and I just sucked my teeth, again, what do I need HIS help for? He is a man...nobody special. I guess I just need support right now. My boyfriend and my TRUE friends all are really helping me out and taking care of me as now the surgery countdown is at 1 day (it's on Tues) but I'm still SCARED and anxious...not just because of the surgery, but I'm feelin kinda 'guilty 'about the blood issue now, I'm nervous about my friends and boyfriend meeting my parents for the FIRST time (parents dont' even KNOW about him), and I'm just worked up about the whole thing.
Anyhow have advice?????