by shamus100 30 Replies latest jw friends
In any event,
WHEN you are ready to start fading, I suggest you do it immediately. To those who are still on the fence, or fear what other dubbies think because that is the only life they see around them, believe me, it isn't.
You will go out and make another life, you will make other friends, life will go on, and you will wonder why those idiots had so much power over your lives for all this time.
I have to disagree with you on that one. Its no secret that there is a shortage of men in congregations, or maybe I should say "willing" men. As an Elder, I can't just start randomly missing meetings.
So you can't stop because they need you so much?
They have lied to you, and used you, but you feel like you owe them something.
That's what high control groups do, they make you feel guilty, unworthy, and beholden.
I think having a spouse and children in the clutches makes it so much more difficult. This should perhaps be a lesson to unmarried people to fade NOW.
My own fade was quick and successful, since I was single then. Moved to quite a few territories away and made it difficult for them to know where I was. I never announced that I was leaving my old congregation, never made myself accountable to a new one, never lied to anybody about anything, just stopped giving "elders" any authority over me. I dread to think how much more difficult it would have been had I been married to a Witness.
I guess I understand how diff it is to actually get out....
Freddo:
Glad its workin for you just seems kinda sad to worry about what everybody thinks and not have the guts or intestinal fortitude to actually stand up and be a man and say Hey this isn't for me. (You seem kind passive aggresive)
I know I had some misgivings with elderly parents actually loosing their identity in the cong because of now not having a rising star elder in their family but I think I gained more respect from them , no I know I gained more love and respect for actually honestly leaving.
Those friends were not really friends just scared timid friendships that were based on performance and low self esteem.
I guess there comes a point when you have to take responsibity for being in that awful place that you or I allowed ourself to be and face the fear, I guess its good that your wife and you still have it going on thats pretty important just seems like a kinda CASPER MILKTOAST thing to stay!
My folk are better off in. My mother is 65 and my father is 69. All of their friends are jws. If they left they would be alone.
Ditto to what MrsJones said. They're happy with their life and they did their best for me. I leave it be.
As for me, I left in my teens and am glad I did so, before the roots went too deep.
Well said zarco.
om
I think the point that there is a shortage of men is that they will question the good ones who attempt to resign.
Let them question. Offer nothing. Or offer a bullsh%t excuse. Whatever.
Otherwise this is what happens: I can never fade because I have difficulty starting. So I never fade.
Face some difficulties. Start out slow if you like, but do it.
I left when the only person I knew was a worldly man (that really helps) and my sister who I hardley knew. I moved a hundred miles away. Shortly, my brother, mother and father were all out. Now the majority of my life has been lived out. My own children never had a day in. That is the best part of all.
Don't be afraid of the big bad wolf. Just because you resign you world will not end at the kingdumb hall at least.
Your wife might not be impressed, but that's another story.
I`m so faded I`m invisible...
This is a recent pic of me..
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