New arrangement for hand-drying at district conventions - KM February 2010

by Gopher 20 Replies latest social humour

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    New Arrangement for Hand-Drying at District Conventions

    In our efforts to simplify arrangements and reduce costs, the Society is pleased to announce a new arrangement that will take effect at the annual district conventions starting with the “Keep On the Watch Even Longer” convention in the summer of 2010. The Society needs to carefully allocate its resources so that the worldwide work can continue to grow and that the Society can defend itself from legal challenges instigated by our opposers.

    Effective this summer, the number of paper towels allowed per visit in the restrooms at convention sites will be reduced from one to zero. We do not think our dear brothers and sisters will notice the difference. Toilet paper will continue to be supplied at this time. However we will instruct the attendants to ensure that toilet paper is not used to dry hands but is used only for its intended purpose. The conventioneers are encouraged to bring their own hand towels to the convention, and keep them in a neat bag. Please do not let such bags block the aisles as any resulting accident could bring heavy responsibility, possibly bloodguilt upon you.

    We appreciate your support of these theocratic arrangements. (1 Cor. 14: 33) We look forward to sharing with you in the fine spiritual feast at the upcoming “Keep On the Watch Even Longer” convention.

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    I'm glad that I can wipe my ass still.

    Oh wait, I'm never going again. Nevermind...

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Thank you for sharing this Brother Gopher.

    The Slave is truly Faithful and Discreet in using dedicated funds.

    om

  • truthseekeriam
  • Mary
    Mary
    The conventioneers are encouraged to bring their own hand towels to the convention, and keep them in a neat bag. Please do not let such bags block the aisles as any resulting accident could bring heavy responsibility, possibly bloodguilt upon you.

    Surely this sort of spiritual food at the proper time could only come from Jehovah! I will be keeping a close eye on Brother Shamus to make sure he doesn't use toilet paper for wiping his hands, only his ass.

  • cab1000
    cab1000

    Funny!

  • elder-schmelder
    elder-schmelder

    elder-schmelder

  • elder-schmelder
    elder-schmelder

    Can we still use the towels in the Hotel Room (at the watchtower rate)?

    axe-towel-01.jpg

    elder-schmelder

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Shamus -- Why let a little inconvenience prevent you from partaking of the spiritual banquet. Just leave the banquet crumbs on your hands -- don't bother washing!

    Open Mind -- I am happy to share the latest gems of wisdom dripping out of the hindquarters, I mean headquarters.

    Mary -- Keep your place. Unfortunately you do not have the proper "equipment" on your body to be an attendant in the men's room.

    Elder Schmelder -- As long as you use the hotels on the approved list that was pinned to your Kingdom Hall announcement board, you are free to use all the worldly hotel's assets on which you can get your grubby hands. By the way, be sure to wear your convention badge at the hotel except when you're sleeping!

  • Aeiouy
    Aeiouy

    Guys, my friend just got DF'd. He had his JC meeting last week. Apparently someone saw him using toilet paper to dry his hands and ratted him o- I mean, lovingly told the Elders™. He was unrepentant. Damn fool threw his whole life away just so he could dry his hands on some toilet paper. I tell ya it's true. People don't leave the Truth over doctrine, it's always over conduct like this. *Sniffle*

    Aeiouy

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