Married to the mob

by Married to the Mob 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Married to the Mob
    Married to the Mob

    Hi, First post after a couple of years of lurking!

    Firstly I am not a JW, never have been and never will be! However I married in to the mob! My wife is a JW who was born into the faith and her mum is die hard R&F.

    From reading this forum, I understand far more how the organisation works than my wife and MIL.

    Bit of history, I met my wife in 04 and we were married in 05 due to our international relationship, I used to live on one side of the atlantic (UK) and her on the other. Once we were married she came to live with me and then 3 years ago we move back to Canada so so could be closer to her mum. We now all share a house and she is a senior.

    As an agreement I got xmas and birthdays and I did the memorial. (1 night of 45 minutes of clap trap - easy!) Any when we lived in the UK this wasn't much of a problem, however became more so once we got over here as I can't put a tree up incase I offend the MIL!

    My own religious view are that religion is support that gives people something to believe in but is flawed by the weakness of humans. I was once someone who believed and even was comfirmed church of england, however the hypocracy, got to me.

    Since we returned to Canada my wife has started going to more meeting, however this is more to keep her mum happy than anything else. The wife loves to play poker computer and for real, gamble, likes a drink, party and certainly doesn't hide what we do. Not sure if her mum totally understands or approves, but there we go.

    My relationship with the MIL is a bit rocky! She believes everything the borg state and watches the news avidly for the signs that the end is comming! Needless to say that my worldly view, knowlege of science, history, art, life must infuriate her as she has tried to assimilate me or atleast argue their point! Its also not helped that I poke holes in the fundamentals of her religion during arguements. blood, use of the bible, you name it i can counter but I am not an expert in the bible so tend to avoid that one! When the arguement do happen, wife tends to back out to avoid taking sides, i know it can't be easy for her.

    I once thought it was best to get my wife out, but the more i pushed the more she moved towards them. now I don't try and encourage the fun stuff that the borg hates, the truth of the matter is I thik my wife will fade once the MIL goes.

    I love my wife but she is naive to life due to the brainwash, but she is learning and her eyes open each day. In addition to that I think even my MIL has lightened up. We did mothers day and I got her a present for xmas which she really likes and she even has xmas dinner!

    Things I have noticed

    love bomb! - I get this once a year when I go to the memorial. I am fawned over like no tomorrow while my poor MIL (who is 80+ btw) is carrying in her equally as old crippled friend and isn't offered any assistance!

    Phone in religion - new one to me but if you don't attend you can phone in! Of course your name gets added so the elders know who attended!

    The visits! - The mil is old and wasn't very well for a bit, needless to say her ability to go out and spread the word was a bit lacking! Anyway the faithful busybody ladies were soon round with words of encouragement! No offers of help or even the offer of a lift to the meeting, just a check she hadn't seen the light!

    the conventions! MIL being faithful has to visit the convention! She and her friends go (one who is neurotic 40 something divorcee and the other who is 80 something cripple). Who drives? yep the MIL! needless to say the wife now drives as both of us almost had a heart attack when we discovered who was doing the driving to these places which are the best part of 60 miles away! You would think that some other member of the cong would offer to take them but no! The wife now drives her and her friends!

    the used car sales pitch for talks! - philip who is orginally an arabic french and the elder seems to be a nice guy from the three times I have met him. However when he talks about upcomming "talks" he uses words that make him sound like a used car salesman! he uses words like "no charge" and others, the sort that make people like me suspicious!

    are you ready for the end? - this one has me in stitches! Watchtower magazine has some article in it on emergency preparation. Terrorism, nuclear bomb yadda yadda yadda. Of course the MIL laps this all up and proceeds to start stockpilling the watchtower list of essentials. tent - check, water - check, food - check, cooking equipment - check so on and so forth. I arrive home to my wife helping her mum put this all together (sometimes it is better to play along than fight). After reading the article I was horrified at what was said and soon had to explain how this was bad advice. I asked the MIL where she would go? oh to the kingdom hall! my response of why, its not a public building, the government won't help you there, the response soon had her thinking it might be better to stay in the house. The watchtower had given only half the list of the source of the emergency advice and not provided any of the context instructions! We now have a proper emergency pack, instructions and besides we have 3 BIG dogs and a cat, and whilst our dogs won't eat our kitty I certainly wouldn't trust them not to try and eat someone elses cat or small dog plus the sight of my MIL trying to walk them is a disaster in its own right!

    Anyway thats me,


  • leavingwt


    From reading this forum, I understand far more how the organisation works than my wife and MIL.

    That is very true. Most active JWs have absolutely no historical perspective on the WT organization, IMHO.


  • Dagney

    Welcome MTTM!!! Nice intro.

    I agree with the lackluster attention to the "widows and orphans" in the congregation of JW's. For my own reasons, it was one of the straws that eventually broke the camel's back for me. Any I feel it is a sort of abuse of the elderly, the fear they instill...very very sad. Everybody hears the same message of course, but when you are elderly, your world is even smaller and it is much more frightening. Oh boy...makes me mad.

    I look forward to you posts. Again...welcome!

  • zoiks

    Welcome, MttM!

    - A Mobster trying to get out without getting the Sonny Corleone treatment.

  • dissed

    Love your name and welcome!

    You are getting an interesting view of the JW's and seem to be handling it quite well. I'm glad someone is looking out for your MIL.

    And your story sounds like it could make a good TV show. "Living with the Mrs. Mum and Jehovah"

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Welcome and Goodness sake make sure you pack doggie kibble in the emergency pack I would hate to see kitty being eaten !!!! :)

  • yknot

    Glad you finally decided to swim with us fishes.......

    Why not consider looking up some of the kooky Golden Age quotes and start espousing them to MIL and at the Memorial....

    Would your wife consider joining our little discussions too?

  • Married to the Mob
    Married to the Mob

    Whilst my dogs are partial to kitty, they are professional moochers who have perfected the art of scrounging food of unsuspecting idiots (normally dubs and those who don't listen to the warnings of protect your plate) who who stupidly fall victim to the big brown eyes routine while the other 2 rob the plate and slobber in your drink!

  • dgp

    I must say that your wife does not sound too demanding. Apparently there is no strong pressure for you to convert, and you don't seem to face the kind of problems other non-JW's have faced. The mere fact that she agreed to marry you without such conditions is a great plus. You seem to really be having it easier than the rest of us non-JW's.

    That said, I'm sure there are some problems, too. The one you seem to have noticed is that your MIL drags your wife to do what no non-JW would do. Funny behavior, some people would call it, but we have to agree that actually this is not funny.

    I would say it is BEST if you get your wife out, but it also makes sense not to push your luck if you're getting the opposite result. In all, however, your case looks encouraging. It seems it's a matter of waiting.

    Good luck!

  • OnTheWayOut

    MttM, Welcome to the forum. I would say "Welcome to our world" but you have been in our world since you married. You just found us a couple years ago and finally let us know you are here. Welcome anyway.

    You really do know more than the wife and MIL about the WTS because you are looking at it with both eyes wide open.

    Please contribute whenever you want, and I hope you find the support helpful to you.

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