Just don't know what to do.
I am starting to understand the hesitation to take someone at face value ... when they go off on a tangent skew to any conceivable frame of reference, as I once did in my own little way.
Rock music is from the devil? I think I heard that a long time ago-in the 60's. Why would you choose to listen to groups who use such disgusting lyrics as the ones you posted. Surely, you see there is a lot of rock music that is harmless.
We do not live in an all or nothing world. It is necessary to grow up and make decisions for yourself. You should be the same person whether the elders or anyone else is looking or not. That is real integrity.
Weeping, welcome to the forum. This is a place full of good people and many ideas.
And while we're on the subject of music with Satan in it... Y'all should check out 18th and 19th century opera... Not to mention literature. You'll find lots of satan and the occult, not to mention sex, drugs, and... well, NOT rock 'n roll, but you get the idea.
Hi Weeping and welcome to JWN! It sounds to me like you replaced one cult with another. Steven Hassan's books can help you. Seeking some professional counselling might be another good avenue for you.
My observation so far here is that you are focused on negative and destructive ideals. Try to consciously focus your thoughts on positive, creative, and growth-oriented things. Do your research.
There are 4 human needs in life. They are Physical - To Live, Emotional - To Love, Mental - To Learn, and Spiritual - To Leave a Legacy. Begin thinking about how you presently fulfill these 4 areas in your life. Is there/are there area(s) that are lacking? If so which ones and in what ways? What kind of life do you wish to have? What are you interested in? What are your passions? What kind of person do you wish to be? How do you wish to help others?
For me, Stephen Covey's books "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and "First Things First" helped a great deal. I have read some of Eckhart Tolle's work as well. I am also interest in reading about The Tao. Life is a journey. What You Focus On Expands. Begin to choose what you truly wish to bring into your life.