I don't want to die.

by paul from cleveland 66 Replies latest jw friends

  • eyeslice
    eyeslice

    Personally, I find the thought of my own death disturbing. But on the positive side I have had a great life and family, even the 50 years I spent as a JW were good, I can have no regrets.

    What I find hard is the fact that it looks as if my son's girl friend is very ill with renal cell carcinoma. She is just 26 years old and the prospects don't look at all good.

    Perhaps we need to take each day at a time and enjoy what we have left.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    You are going to die.

    I am going to die.

    There are some Loony Toon nut jobs who want to control your mind who pretend that it ain't going to happen.

    They are full of shit.

    None of them have a single ancestor who has lived past their 'use by' date.

    I visited my Great Great Great Grandmother yesterday. She is very dead. She doesn't know I exist. My mother has never heard of her.

    Vandals have desecrated her grave and smashed her headstone, and the headstone of her daughter who is buried beside her.

    Who cares?

    I do.

    One of the few.

    When I am gone .... who cares?

    Jemima is just a piece of marble on the top of a hill until her tomb is sucked beneath the earth's crust to tidy up the mess we mere earthlings leave behind.

    May she rest in peace.

    Merry Christmas to all.

    Cheers

    Chris

  • nugget
    nugget

    To gain everlasting life in the new world it was necessary to live as an alien in this. All living and ambition is postponed to some future time. The tragedy is that for years you have been living a half life.

    They may well be right that God plans for people to live forever on earth but they are wrong about time and what is required to benefit. Some people have been distressed to face death unprepared because they firmly believed they would never grow old and die. They spent their whole lives sacrificing their hopes and dreams and at the end had nothing to show for it.

    I have had trouble letting go of all my beliefs and I still believe in a benevolent God because at this time I need to. what his plans for me are I don't know. I do know that he doesn't want me to be enslaved to a book publishing company. I trust him to take care of future prospects and fully accept that I may have to run this life course to the end. In the meantime I take this life seriously for the first time in years I try to use my talents and make a difference if only in a small way to others.

    Muhammed Ali was once asked what he would be if he wasn't a boxer. He replied that he would be the best he could be at whatever he did. If he was a garbage man he would be the best garbageman he could be. That would give his life meaning. It isn't a bad philosophy.

  • DrJohnStMark
    DrJohnStMark

    Paul, I felt exactly the same for many years. After that, life has been good in many ways. Sometimes I tell people that I lost Everlasting Boredom (the wt deal) but got a Life. Of course, it is not that simple and I think that I would like to live (this life) a bit longer than I probably will. Another thing has been that as born-in JWs we were not at all prepared to handle permanent loss, e.g. of health or of close family members, and I have felt this very deeply at times. But I have learned to live also with that like many other writers above tell they have. Also, as JWs we were not free from worry: We were all the time afraid of, by failing to obey the rules of the wt game, loosing our so-called everlasting life.

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    To a certain degree, you are already experiencing a death... an 'ending'. You are in the first stages of the Change Cycle. The quicker you can exit these, the better off you will be. ( http://www.changecycle.com/changecycle.htm )

    Tell us Paul, how do you define your life? Have you thought about your own personal mission statement?

    How do you fulfill your 4 areas of human need - Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual?

    What you focus on Expands. Maybe start thinking about some of the above questions. There is a lot of info. on the web to get you started.

    And, as always, I recommend Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and "First Things First".

    You seem so worried about dying, you aren't living. I think it's time you started living your life.

  • Robdar
    Robdar
    yes. normal feelings. I recommened "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.

    (((((Paul))))), I am thinking of calling you but it is the holiday weekend and I do not want to interrupt any plans you have. I haven't any plans since I celebrated the season with my family yesterday, so if you have a few minutes, buzz me up.

    You have received lots of good thoughts on this thread and I hope you will take them to heart. W-A-C suggested "The Power of Now" and I second the suggestion. There is truth in the book and I think it might be of help to you.

    Merry Christmas, my friend. Your spark burns brightly. Perhaps we do not have tomorrow but I am happy we are here today.

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    W-A-C suggested "The Power of Now" and I second the suggestion

    I too, suggest this book, as well as A New Earth by Tolle.

    purps

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    as jws we were all conditioned we were going to live forever,

    each generation thinks they'll be the ones to live forever,

    i've never known any jw that has lived forever, but i did go to a lot of jw funerals of all ages not just old and the funerals have continued since i left.

    it may be nice to have 'hope', but whats the point of hope that denies the inevitable and makes people soo afraid and unrealistic about a very natural consequence that really does come to us all eventually. personally i'd rather enjoy the years i have and not spend them fearful of something thats going to happen later.

  • littlebird
    littlebird

    Paul, you look about my two sons ages, maybe early twenties. My heart goes out to you. Both of my sons left the "truth" before me, I raised them in it. They both went through a deep depression. They also were worried about death. Their friends had to call me and tell me what was going on. I regret to say, I wasn't there for them. I was so brain washed. They had to depend on friends to get them through it. They made friends with kids from work & school and a few that were xjws.

    Like Grace & others here, I am a believer. I will tell you what I wish I had told them.

    We were lied to about God, what he expects from us and how he feels about us. We were lied to about death. Today starts a new day. Unlike being a witness, you don't have to have all the answers. Does it matter if the jws (or the atheists, for that matter) were right, and we're just dead when we die? If so, you wont know it. If believers are right, then there is a beautiful afterlife, that I believe, the Lord has prepared for us. Worrying about it is unproductive, we can't escape it. Isn't more important to live each day to it's fullest? What type of footprint would you like to leave behind? We were conditioned to believe that this world is a terrible place, on the brink of destruction, everything is bad, bad, bad.

    Im here to tell you there is much good in the world and alot of wonderful people. Make new friends, discover your gifts & look for God with a new set of eyes, without the influence from the wt. Many people have discovered a new, wonderful world outside of Jehovah's Witnesses, regardless of what path they ultimately decided to take.

    Much Love,

    Jeanie

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    Hi, Paul... I'm jumping in on this thread to agree with what a lot of good folks have said already.

    One: It gets better, much better, and easier, it just takes time.

    Two: Read "Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steven Hassan.

    Three: Read "Power of Now" by Eckhardt Tolle.

    Four: If you have had depression for a while now, and it doesn't seem to be getting better, talk to your doctor or a counselor. A lot of us have found someone in the health field that helped us through this very difficult transition, and we are far better for it. Losing one's faith (read: oppressive religion) is HUGE! Allow yourself the support you need to get through it.

    Great strength to you!

    Love,
    Baba.

    P.S. I love the Dawkins quote, LeavingWT... and I love the Harold and Maude trailer, too... Paul, you have inspired a great thread!

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