Did you Exit the Witnesses Gradually - Or Exit Suddenly - Your Reasons ?

by flipper 66 Replies latest jw friends

  • teel

    In the latter days I did have some problems with the JW - I would describe my state as a mental numbness, maybe my mind was starting to revolt against the opression. Yet I kept doing the rounds, did all that was required to do. Then my wife left me (separated) because of her personal reasons, and I felt the elders didn't handle the whole matter quite as they should have. So just suddenly from one day to other I completely stopped going to KH, FS, even the memorial. Yet my mind was still not free, I remember when I first started reading anti-JW material (half a year after my dropout) I was scared, like when I was a kid and smoked a cigarette butt hidden from sight - I think some of you know this feeling. This alone is a proof to me of the mental abuse I was subjected to.

  • flipper

    AK JEFF- Glad you got out ! I imagine that most of us started out feeling the effects of unjust treatment and then as if by osmosis we start finding out how skewed and wrong the teachings of the witnesses are. Thank gawd for the internet as many of us have discovered information we never would have had access to had we stayed inside the witness organization. So our minds have been freed and it's a great thing.

    DR. JOHN ST. MARK- I think a lot of us go through a time of healing where depression comes into play. Some to a greater or lesser degree than others - but it's still there. We try to throw ourselves into a new life and it takes time for us to adapt . But I had some elders try to tell me to come back to meetings too. I just said, " No thanks. " It is a great thing to escape the mind control.

    HEAVEN- Very interesting. So you saw the fallacies of the WT society and witnesses at an early ag ? Good for you. You saved yourself more heartache than you WOULD of experienced joining the witnesses. It sounds like it still touched your family to a certain extent having to deal with your parents involvement. But I'm glad you yourself escaped.

    ALL TIME JEFF- You are very welcome my friend. You definitely have been to hell and back after dynamiting the bridge of your former JW life. I totally understand what you say about being unable to continue with your ex-wife a Jehovah's Witness. I too was married 19 years to my adult children's mother ( a fanatic JW ) and I could see that her views were so staunch that we would never have a long time peaceful marriage. And she refused to get therapy about having been abused by JW step-uncles as she carried so much anger with her for years- she took it out on me and our sexual relationship. So- it wasn't going to work , and I accepted that.

    There are lots of nice, caring people on this board and other boards who really " get it " and understand what people go through moving on and exiting the JW cult. I have made many nice friends on the board - and I look forward to meeting and getting to know many more. Life is worth living and freedom of mind is a wonderful thing ! Glad you've moved on Jeff. Keep the good work up !

    TEEL- I hear you. I numbed my mind for years before finally leaving the WT cult. You stated, " I felt the elders didn't handle the whole matter quite as they should have. " Do they ever ? In my experience with elders I always saw them shooting their own personal opinions off their hip trying to influence people . Didn't see much " spiritual " counsel from the Bible. I'm glad you got out friend and escaped ! Good for you

  • EverSoGrateful

    Growing up, we had an Aunt & her daughter that were wittnesses. Her daughter (my cousin) was 1 yr older than me. My cousin was the same age as one of my sisters. Thru the years my cousin would try to get us interested in the watchtower. Eventually when my sis got married in 1978 ...they knocked on her door & it was a quick conversion. She is still in today. She studied with me around 1985 and eventually I joined & got dunked in 1992. My sis & cousin were very pleased. My cousin however married an unbeliever & wound up having kids & a really screwed up marriage. Most of which could be contributed to the organization now as I look back. (It has screwed up so many lives) ...anyway.... about 4 yrs ago my cousin (who was like a sister to me & my other sis.... fell ill. She was in the hospital with pheumonia & and fell during the night on her way to the bathroom in the hospital room. Freak acciden.... she fell on a chair & cut off her air... was dead when they found her ... they revived her & put her on life support... I get the call the next day from one of her kids.... he tells me she is going to die please come.... So.... I drop everything...she is 100 miles away... I am on the way..... to be by my cousins side....please God... don't let her die..... I get htere in the hospital...OMG... a machine is breathing for her.... I am so scared for her.... I call my husband ( my sweet loving non wittness husband & am crying) he drops everthing & drives 100 miles to be with me & my cousin & all of her family & friends .... mostly non wittness friends...(she had started to miss meetings & fade) anyway...... there were a few wittnesses there outside the hospital room...placing their "what happens when you die brochures" bastards.... anyway.... my hubby gets there...he comes in & we are standing by my cousin with her moma standing next to her & I start singing a song we used to sing.... and suddenly tears are coming from my cousins eyes...although she is still in a coma. The nurse immediately comes in & says we are getting her heart rate up too much that we would have to leave the room...actuall we were reaching her ...she knew we were there.....so I am thinking to myself...where is my other sister...why hasn't she shown up...so I call her...and the first thing she says about my cousin lying there dying is " Was she attending meetings on a regular basis?" WHAT??????????? WHAT???????? My cousin is lying here dying & all you want to know is if she has been regular at meetings???? WHAT?????????? I hung up... and the next day we all stood around my cousin ( all of us crying uncontrollably... my husband included ) as they took all of the machines off of her & watched as she breathed her last breadth. THAT was when I knew that the wittness religion was a cold cold place to be & I wanted no more of it. I know my cousin is in heaven now & she has visited me once (in a dream) since she passed. I will never ever step foot in another Kingdom Hall again...ever! God bless this sight for helping all of us thru such difficult times.... I love you all.... and I remain...ever so thankful that I am out..... my other sister is still in & I am hopeful that someday I will see her leave.... but until then....I remain on the outside without her.....

  • leftbelow

    Mr. Flipper

    It was tough and I will tell you I always read your threads you have PM'ed me before and I have always wanted to call you but I hate to bother people but I really appreciate your personal concern for others. Someday I will take you up on the offer and give you a call. But know this even if I haven't said it before you have helped me through some bad days without ever knowing it just by posting.

    Lady Lee

    Thanks for that advice. My daughter is only a baby but I worry about her not having her cousins mostly. I hope I can find activities to help her build that network of people that was kind of pre-built for me in the org. But I agree honest beats the lie everytime


    In late 1990's I faded for almost a year but was guilted into returning to the meetings. I witnessed a lot of hypocrisy and Pharisee-like behavior. I returned to college because of realizing some people were still suffering from poor financial decisions made in 1974 and 1975. I knew they were Pharisees but I still believed. In 2004, when my husband was suffering from depression and drinking heavily , I realized I could not call the elders because they would disfellowship him and worsen his depression, I stopped attending meetings regularly. He stopped drinking after rehab and counseling but I stopped attending meetings regularly. We changed halls in 2005 but my heart was no longer in it. I last attended a meeting in 2006 and was very irregular at that point. When I realized they changed their stance on the blood issue and joined the UN, the blinders fell off.

  • Satanus

    Some cool experiences, here that i feel the urge to recognise.


    That you reached your comatose cousin through singing. Yes, she's in heaven.


    That you didn't rat out your depressed and drinking husband to the elders.



    I left in a hurry..

    I was Fired out of a Cannon..


    "You WBT$ Bastards!"

    Human Cannon Ball Stock Photos

    .................. ...OUTLAW

  • Butterflyleia85

    Wow great post on here from everyone... Outlaw your still to funny.

  • flipper

    EVER SO GRATEFUL- My god , I am so very sorry you lost your cousin . I'm glad she visited in your dreams. Your sisters insensitivity to the situation is so common in how JW's respond to crises that family members go through that it's appalling they even dare call themselves Christians AT ALL ! I'm glad your husband was very supportive to you as was other friends and family. My condolences again for your dear lost loved one. Please be assured of our unconditional care and love.

    LEFT BELOW- Thanks so much for your kind words. They brought a little moisture to the edge of my eyes. But that's a good thing. I really admire you as well for attending that families funeral , you showed what true unconditional love really is. Please, never hesitate to call. I'd love to talk with you. It would be a privilege- never a bother at all. My lines always open friend to everybody.

    CHILD- That is such a great thing you did for your husband as yes, it would have caused him more stress in dealing with judgmental elders about the drinking. It sounds like you both saw the light and realized the scam that is the WT society. Good for you, enjoy your freedom !

    SATANUS- I agree. Wow. Some pretty heavy experiences here which caused my eyes to get moist for sure ! Especially Ever So Grateful & Leftbelows experiences . The challenges many people have faced exiting this mind control cult are absolutely eye popping and astonishing when we really think about it.

    OUTLAW- I'll tell you guy- You are so cool- I wish I could shoot you out of a cannon and act as a covert spy inside Bethel and do a James Bond thing and overturn this cult. Bet you'd be a really cool undercover agent !

    BUTTERFLYLEIA- Outlaw is a really cool guy to be sure ! Love his Muttley dog ! Makes me laugh every time ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Spook

    I left 4-6 months after I knew that it was not the truth. I cited poor scholarship, unbalanced criticism of the secular world and irresponsible absentee leadership in my letter of disassociation.

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