Did you Exit the Witnesses Gradually - Or Exit Suddenly - Your Reasons ?

by flipper 66 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper

    I thought it would be good to discuss it to understand what caused some of us to exit suddenly, or some to exit gradually .

    Myself , I had been in 44 years , had mentally had doubts for years before exiting - but injustices by the elders and my doubts about the " generation " doctrine led me to exit suddenly one night before a meeting. The elders pissed me off , I went to my seat, picked my books up and walked out - never going back. So what is your story and reasons ? Look forward to hearing from you. Did you exit suddenly or gradually ? Should be interesting hearing your takes. Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper

  • pat1060

    I think this will be a good post for us all,I'm looking forward to hearing what people have to say because I'm in a slow fade now.Tonight is meeting but I'm not going.Don't want to go.I have a son that I don't want to let down.My other grown kids are out.I have a bible study that lives next door to me.I don't want to hurt her.I have turned the study over to another sister.I have her to think of her too... I want to make some comments to her with out her knowing what I'm doing.I need to be careful so she doesn't tell her teacher.I want to fade on out with out any problems with elders.Sometimes there are many reasons to fade slow.

  • darnkid

    I tried to do it quickly. I didn't have the guts to da myself so I took up smoking. For 6 months they kept giving me chances. I finally told them just do it, I'm not quitting!

    If I had known that my kids, who went out with me and their dad (who was/is my ex), would go back to truth with their dad and at 18 shun me and cut me off, I might have tried a real good fade.

    Hindsight is 20/20.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Mr. Flipper,

    You have a PM.

    I left after repeated attempts at getting practical and spiritual help for me and my kids. I can't hear at the doors and couldn't teach them how to preach so I asked for them to be taken by others so they could learn. They were assisted for a short time and patronized the whole time. One sister insisted that my teenage daughter wear gloves, scarf, and a hat when she was perfectly comfortable in a coat for service. My boy was picked on a lot by the brothers for wearing a white turtleneck long sleeved shirt and slacks instead of a button down and a suit. He was only 12 and we didn't have the money. I was accused of not doing anything with them (back room with 2 elders). My 'terp was on again and off again in meeting attendance. I was robbed at gun point and thought I was going to die. I was new there and no one cared at all. I used to roam the parking lot in tears. I quit suddenly when it all came together and I realized that they were pharisees. I think this is in my bio.

  • jonathan dough
    jonathan dough
    If I had known that my kids, who went out with me and their dad (who was/is my ex), would go back to truth with their dad and at 18 shun me and cut me off, I might have tried a real good fade.

    But for how long?

  • darnkid

    Well, I would have tried. But I am sure not for long. When I was 16 I told my dad I didn't want to be a witness. "You live in my house..." I know he did it cause he loved me. I was finally free at 36. That was 8 years ago and I don't regret leaving, I just wish my kids could see how wrong it is, what they are being taught to do to me. It rips my heart out, over and over.

  • dissed

    Mr. Flipper, good evening!

    My experience was similar to the apostle Pauls, but in reverse.

    Instead of seeing the light, like on the "Road to Damauscus" (wasn't that a Bing Crosby and Bob Hope movie?) I was hit over the head by a CO to see the light.

    For five years after being forced out by him, I still believed it was the truth, wandering around the wilderness of despair thinking JG didn't want me. Was I feeling the same as some of the Gay-JW's I knew, feeling this was the truth, but JG didn't want us? Pathetic thinking, wasn't it?

    My doubts only came about five years later. Then they became strong finally after 7-8 years, with further bad treament from JW family.

    Was my basis for doubts on the JW's for wrong doctrines, like so many honorable people here? No.

    It was the extreme lack of love shown to us over a period of years.

    Only when coming to this site did I realize they were wrong on blood, 1914, etc...etc...

    Amazing uh?! Thirteen years from leaving the org did my wife and me realize this wasn't the truth after all.

    Which brings up my next point. Why do we here reffer to oursleves as Apostates? The conatation is not true (Apostate = unhealthful teaching) and can scare aware searching JW's and interested studies looking for answers. They see apostate and are trained to run away screaming like the knights in Monty Python's 'Holy Grail' "Retreat! Retreat!" Can we change the name if necessary to something different like 'truth seekers'? jmho

    You all have a nice weekend. We plan on riding horses till we drop.

    PS. And treating our very sick and loyal cat 'Chico'. Poor guy is on his last legs and just wants to be held and have his ears scratched.

  • jamiebowers

    I left quickly, because I was running for my life.

  • AllTimeJeff

    It's hard for me, I was both.

    My sudden exit took gradual planning....

    Gilead taught me that I was in a cult. Being stuck with this fact in my head like a deer in headlights, plus dealing with a defective cult marriage, caused me to take my time to plan my sudden exit.

    I knew JW's didn't have the truth in 2005 at Gilead, but went to Cameroon anyway... Tried to work it out... Maybe I was wrong? But I wasn't. Then I got attacked, twice. Screw them, I am not dying a fast death in Africa for a cult, nor a slow death in a marriage ruled by a cult.

    So it was a tandem deal for me, and I left both, the same day, my "Dear John" letter for the ex, and my resignation letter for the cult, both on the kitchen table of the elder whose house I was staying in, one envelope next to another, while I left.

    Wow, to think about that time truly takes my breath away....

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I may have been running away quickly for my mental and emotional health. I'm very healthy now:)

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