Gary Neal, you know I'm a worldly man (yeah, I'm worldly and I'm proud) and you also know I was rejected by a JW woman who claimed she would never marry outside of her faith. I think I sort of understand where you're coming from. So I would like to say that I sort of do not like the way your wife is treating you. Neither do you, I can see that.
Yep, yep, yep, she's not doing you a favor by staying married to you. You're not below her dignity because you don't happen to believe the things she believes. So, don't let the Society or your wife impose that kind of thinking on you. Don't let them brainwash you.
This thread is about whether JW men would be "good catches". What's implied is that you're not. Well, I'm not into men, but from reading your posts and by checking what you do to stay married to your wife I can see your wife is the winner here. You and I know that the thought may have crossed your mind that you don't need to be going through all this kind of trouble. Yet, there you are.
I am not a woman, but I think you will recognize a common sense answer. JW men are reared to believe in a code of behavior that other religions left behind like 500 years ago. Or, it feels like that. They are reared to think that women need to be submitted to them, and not to compromise in their lifestyle. Do you think that makes for a good husband for anyone not in the religion? The obvious answer is no.
Now, for the women inside of the religion, the problem is different. They are supposed to marry only these guys. They know that. They know they can be picky, and they will be the kings of the home. They need to be good fellows not to abuse their women. The system is in their favor. Or, were you thinking that all Moslem men behave that way for different reasons?
It's not that JW men are bad in themselves. From what I read here, many born JW men are fine people, PROVIDED they rid themselves of the oppressive mindset. They are not inherently worse or better than we are.
I read that some girls marry a JW in good standing and find that the guy in particular is not very good. That happens to every wife :-), so I believe these women meant that the difference between who they expected the man to be, and who he really is, is too big. Well, that happens because the criteria to judge how good the man is are mere appearances. The JW legalism does that to people. Unless I get it wrong, if you place so many magazines, are out on field service, do comment in meetings, and obey everything they tell you, then you're a fine fellow. It doesn't matter if you dont' really believe in any of that or if you have your skeletons in your closet; appearances is what matters.
Your wife, on the other hand, seems a pain in the neck in this particular regard. She knew she was hurting you where it hurt the most. She is aware of how hard you're trying. I believe she's an abusive woman, and this not because she is a JW, but because she's abusive herself. If she's that uncomfortable with the marriage, well, you can ask her why the hell she married you. Maybe she can go back to her faith, only without a scriptural divorce, as the FDS would demand?