Ladies: How do I get her to stop flirting without being mean?

by Elsewhere 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • asilentone

    Elsewhere, maybe you can post an ad on craigslist to find someone for her. I agree with Scully that she could sue you for sexual harrassment if you turn her down, maybe you can record the conversations to be on the safe side, I do not know about Texas laws about recording conversations. I hope that you will get some more good suggestions here. Good Luck!

  • Robdar

    I was in a similar situation this past summer. After just two dates the guy started talking about love and marriage. He would invade my space at the temple, monopolize the conversation, and run everybody else off. He called me all the time and at all hours. He became very possessive.

    I was direct and told him I wanted only to be friends and he agreed. Except he really didn't. Then I told him I didn't want to be friends and to stop calling me. He said he would stop calling-- except he didn't.

    Well, one day, he just happened to be in the neighborhood and came by my apartment. I had him come in (to keep from making a scene for the neighbors) and told him again that I did not want to be with him. Did that discourage him? No.

    Then it hit me, the guy wanted my attention and if he couldn't have positive attention, he'd take the negative. I couldn't win unless I prevented him from sucking me dry.

    So, I tried an experiment: While he was talking, I refused to answer him. I looked right at him and through him. I allowed my gaze to glaze over and for just a moment, I actually couldn't see him. I refused to speak with him or give him any of my energy. After a few minutes of dead silence on my part, he said, "Maybe I should leave." I didn't say a word, walked to the door and opened it. He looked at me and then left.

    I have never heard from him again. He even started going to a different synagogue.

    If you don't want this young woman's attention, stop responding to her. Don't look at her, do not speak to her, do not encourage her in any way. Silence is, afterall, golden.

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Oh come on Rob--I didn't bug you that much.

  • Robdar
    Oh come on Rob--I didn't bug you that much.

    Darling, I wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating crackers.

  • watson

    Just do like JD does and have sex with her. She'll leave you alone after that....

  • DJK

    Invite everyone in the office out for a drink except for her.

  • jeanniebeanz

    Telling someone that you are "uncomfortable" with their attentions is a powerful statement. It's just a little vague so not prone to hurt them and it is not rude. It also gives them something to think about. You're likely to get an apology and an awkward silence for a while why they mull the statement over, but if they ask why, you have the perfect opportunity to tell them that you do not wish to pursue a friendship/relationship with them. Since you are responding to a direct question, they are less likely to be hurt since they asked already knowing that there was a problem; it's not like you just come out and lay a bombshell on them when they are not expecting it.

    This approach has worked for me in the past. I hope you are able to resolve this situation. It can be very distracting.


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