OK, tjlibre, here goes. BTW, I'm just going by what you typed. I'm not there and am 99% just grasping in the dark. You know the inter-personal dynamics of your home life way better than anyone here.
I got the impression that you're pushing just a bit too hard. It comes across like you hope she'll wake up to how messed up the meetings are in one conversation. If I'm misreading this, just let me know. It's more important to be a sounding board and provide an open, non-judgemental atmosphere where she feels free to vent. BTW, if the kids are within earshot, you've got to be even more careful, and maybe not even discuss the topic until they're not around. In any true-believing JW mom's mind, her kid's everlasting lives are on the line. Mama Bear instincts are pretty much unstoppable. The occasional leading question or personal observation are fine, but try to avoid questions that require her to take a stand against any particular WT doctrine/policy.
Step back and try to look at it from her perspective. Over the last few months, who has been the source of various questions and criticisms about the WT? If its you, try to change that. One excellent way to do this is to actually prepare for the meetings (blech, I know). Then you can be ready if she brings up something. The point from Deuteronomy re: false prophets is an excellent one. But, if in her mind, you've been too critical of the WT lately, let her or the kids bring it up if at all possible. On average, I think about 3 out of 4 conversations I had with my wife were initiated by something she or the kids said. I just had to be ready.
Try to regularly make some one-on-one time with her and with each of your kids. Really get to know her better. Ask open-ended questions about her hopes, dreams, preferences, viewpoints, etc. "If you weren't a JW........?" "If money was no object..........." You get the idea. I believe Steve Hassan refers to this as getting to know her "non-cult" personality. If you are responsible in your use of alcohol, a shared bottle of wine could also be just the right dose of truth serum.
Here's the long-term strategy that worked for me. One brick at a time, weaken the mortar around a particular JW belief or policy. When enough bricks have been sufficiently weakened, then it hopefully is just a matter of time before your spouse will have a "light bulb" moment and all those weak bricks will come crashing down at once. When my wife finally was ready to read an excerpt from Crisis of Conscience on the internet a couple weeks ago, I'm not even sure what finally pushed her over the edge. I'll have to remember to ask her. The key is for her to let it fall when she's ready.
Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Know various topics inside and out. Review in your mind what presentation would be most effective for your spouse. When a particular brick has been loosened a little, be ready to revisit it at a future date. For me, one of the earliest was the question of how hard it is for me to really believe that a loving God is going to kill that really nice couple we met at the gym just because they didn't take the WT. Put a face on the victims. Don't make her take a stand. Just say it's something that troubles you. See how she responds. If you end up agreeing on this, now and then when the timing is right, mention it again and make sure she still feels the same way.
This slow-drip method will be EXTREMELY trying on your patience and sanity. Vent your frustrations here. Not to your spouse. That sucks for now, but it's necessary if she's still a true-blue JW.
OK, done for now. If any of this fits, use it. If not, here's your money back.
Strength to you on your journey.
om
