If you were well known as JW at your job and in the neighbourhood... (page 2)

BluesBrother

I was not well known to the neighbours (typical dub) but I had worked for the firm for decades and for several years with my office mate, having "witnessed" openly.

When I woke up to "the truth" , I just told them. It was much easier than I thought. I felt that a weight had been taken off my shoulders. I was now free to talk about anything without having to think "What do the Society say about this?"

"Worldly" people are much more tolerant and understanding. They seemed pleased that I had given it up, and did not hold against me the self righteous tactless things I had sometimes said in the past. It was great to be able to talk about the J W's from an ex perspective. I was able to explain the full nature of the Armageddon slaughter doctrine and the strange inconsistencies of the blood doctrine..Anti Witnessing felt good...

I started contributing to the Birthday collections but I never gave up my birthday date or would have wanted gifts, after all this time it just seemed silly, but that was just me.

Heartbreaker

I agree with Blues here, everyone I've told has seemed genuinely relieved for me. The org would like you to believe that Satan is sitting around the corner waiting to jump all over you if you turn away from "the truth" but not one person has tried to lure me over their way. I just get nods, real smiles, and they say they are happy for me. It is such a relief to not have to "hold myself at a higher standard" than others. IOW Be a self righteous bitch with the WT stamp on my ass. I may even gain a few REAL friends out of this.

Heartbreaker

sorry, double post

moshe

I told quite a few people at work I was sorry for being an ass and for anything I might have said that offended them. No way to get around admitting you had been stupid about the JW thing, so I just got it over with. In my small town, I left a tract that explained the dangers of the JW's and had my phone #. The KH in this town did not like being outed by a former elder, either.

undercover

... how did you handle to let others know you do not consider yourself as one of JWs anymore? Did you tell them straigh? Did you explain details?

How do you handle if your mate is still in?

I told one or two workmates that I became friends with but other than that, people figure it out pretty much on their own when you start attending the office xmas parties, wish people happy birthday, go out for drinks after work, etc. Also, there are other JWs that work for the same company and it was obvious that they pulled back from having to deal with me any more than they had to.

I didn't know too many people in the neighborhood while I was active. Some knew we were JWs but most didn't. Over time, I became more involved with the neighbors and neighborhood issues. I've gone to xmas parties, new years eve parties. Most know me as non-religious instead of some kind of back-sliding fundie. I'm just another neighbor...some people like me, some don't (long story - what happens when you get lucky and move into an established neighborhood in a nice part of town and you don't kiss the right asses).

My wife, a still-believing-in-it-but-'spiritually'-weak JW has actually joined in the wordly festivities of my business, her business and the neighborhood. To all outward appearances, she's no more JW than I am, though she will feel guilt and pressure from her family and make comments chiding me for my shortcomings in allowing myself to drawn to the world. I'm luckier than some here in this respect. I know that guys like OnTheWayOut and oompa have die-hard JW fanatic wives. My wife, over time, has become less and less active...to the point now that she doesn't go to meetings or service anymore. I'm slowly winning the war, but it takes time and patience...extreme patience.

Albert Einstein

Bluesbrother, Moshe: Thanks for you story.

Undercover: I hope my story will be similar to yours... We had twins born 3 months ago, so it is very busy, and my wife is very "weak spiritually" now - In past 4 months we were once at the KH (to show off the kids...) and she was not door to door for a year now.... So I hope one day your story will be my story...! You re lucky man!"

Albert

Casper

"Worldly" people are much more tolerant and understanding. They seemed pleased that I had given it up, and did not hold against me the self righteous tactless things I had sometimes said in the past.

I've experienced this also. Some of my extended family at reunions still come up and ask, after a brief explaination... they're all hugs and seemed relieved.

Cas

OnTheWayOut

OnTheWayOut: Did you explain them deatails why.... what kind of problems it creates to you... did you start celebrating birthdays with them from scertain moment???

My situation is quite unique. At work, we literally depend on each other with our lives. We have a very good relationship. There are a few exceptions, but I am straight up that I was in a dangerous mind-control cult for several of the years that they knew me, and now I am not. I tell them that I will celebrate birthdays and holidays with them and my wife will not. I have told them that my mother might stop speaking to me if I were ever ratted out to the cult, so I may participate in stuff with them (even football pools and lottery tickets) but that stuff needs to be kept quiet from my personal life with the wife.

Even when I was a believer, I had problems with the doctrine and I knew how important a good relationship was with people at work. So I wasn't preachy or judgemental and I didn't do birthdays, holidays, football pools BUT I was open and forthcoming about who I was. They accepted me because I didn't try to force my beliefs down their throats. If you cannot say everything, still it is good to be open and honest. Where you prefer not to say, say "I prefer not to say. It could cause trouble with my family."

People don't really understand JW's. Co-workers don't really want to know all the rules and doctrines and my discoveries about them. They just understand when I describe things in basic (whacko) terms about JW's. "They are a cult and they shun former members." Stuff like that.

JeffT

I worked in an office of about 15-20 people. Due to some quirks of corporate culture, it was a close knit, involved, and self-examining group of people. Shortly after I went to work there, they knew I was a JW. Everyone there was aware of what was going on when I left. All of them offered encouragement and support as we were leaving the WT. I had some really good conversations with a co-worker who was having a similar struggle with the mormon church.

I don't think our neighbors knew we were JW's when we were in, they knew it when we got out and welcomed the change (I put about 2000 christmas lights on the house). Typical comments from them ran along the line of "we wondered why you didn't celebrate the holidays."

Gladring

Just come right out with it. You'll find people are very supportive. And, you may prevent someone from falling into the grasps of the WTBT$

If you were well known as JW at your job and in the neighbourhood...

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