by minimus 46 Replies latest jw friends
My life isn't ruined because I am/was a JW; it IS ruined because my wife is a staunch JW.
There is no way she will ever give it up, just wish I had realised that 50 years ago
Anyway I am on borrowed time; as BluesBrother says:
God only gives you the proverbial "threescore years and ten"
I am just coming up to 77
fokyc
I don't know if I should answer yes or no. I came in as an adult so I was not raised as one. I had a somewhat 'normal' childhood with my holidays. There were other problems in my somewhat dysfunctional family but they could not be blamed on the religion. So, in all fairness I cannot say that the person I am today is totally because of the religion because my personality was formed before I ever set foot in the religion.
But, what I will say is that I spent precious time (a little over 20 years) in the religion. Time is something I will never get back. I am resentful that I spent too many good years of my life in this stupid fantasy world tolerating nonsense. Thankfully, I didn't totally buy their bullshit but I am angry nonetheless.
People waste their time in all sorts of things unfortunately.
Yes. Though I am still in. Faced with a choice of only my unhappiness or everyone's (in my family, that is) unhappiness, I chose to be the only unhappy party. I figured it is ruined either way. If I leave, I'm no longer a slave of the WTBS, but my family is destroyed and I am still miserable because they mean everything to me. If I stay, I'm unhappy with the religion and pretending to be remotely interested, but I do get to enjoy my family every day.
No, thanks to the little voice in the back of my head that said, "don't go into partnership with bro Henry" . I helped him on a few concrete jobs when I was laid off as a union electrician. I had a year or so left to go on my apprenticeship and he was begging me to go into business with him. He is 61 now and still pouring and finishing concrete. It was a back-breaking job 35 years ago- I can't imagine how he is still doing it. I finished my apprenticeship and am now drawing a nice pension from 22 years of union electrician work, plus 15 years as a UAW autoworker in skilled trades.
No, not ruined... just veered off course for awhile.
I get tired of making lemonade all the time.
My life could have been better with more money and more opportunities if I wasnt raised a witness.
I made it 57 years, I've had good times and bad.
It always bothered me that I didnt go to college.
I tried after leaving the tower but couldnt get through, work always interfered.
The witnesses are part to blame but I had selfish uncaring parents who did nothing to prepare me
to live in this world.
Then I moved to Florida when I was 28, and I didnt find this to be the land of opportunity.
I have brothers in law who hung dry wall in Cleveland and by the time they are 50 they get great
retirements making more retired than I make working.
I cant blame it all on the witnesses, though I like to.
Time and unforseen circumstances befall us all.
I was never in the right place at the right time.
And with just a high school educaton your selection of right places is diminished.
I got married at 19 and spent the next 18 years raising my son.
Which was good and bad ups and downs. Good memories, financial burdens, worries and difficulties.
I've been more depressed than usual lately mainly because of work. My job abuses us and takes advantage
of us and tells us to be thankful we have a job. They force us to work 16 hour days then flex off the overtime
at their convenience and our inconvenience. Plus I work midnights I go in at 11 pm so a 16 hour day ends at 3
in the afternoon.
Then some people are able to get out of holding over which increases the burden on those
who are not favored. Work is just one stressful piece of bullshxt after another.
When I think about that and I cant figure out how to fix it or change it or get out of it. I think my life is
ruined at the moment.
Maybe I'll win the lottery tomorrow.
I got alcohol and I got the option of going to the doctor and getting paxil or prozak.
I tell my doctor my situation he says he couldnt do it either.
The anti depressents just mask the problem and they cause you to gain weight.
The same with beer, but the beer is not on your work record when you try to find
your next non exhistant job.
Sometims I think all my problems are related to my sitting in a kingdumb hall for 31 of my 57 years.
But there are no shortage of folks who will tell me.
No. the problem is me.
On a scale of 1-10
One being a child who was sadistically abused
Ten being a child with emotionally healthy parents who support, encourage and thrive, and are also financially able to provide a full range of life experiences...
I'd give my childhood a 4. I think that without JW theology it would have been a 6. My parents probably would have gotten divorced, but they needed it.
On the plus side, I had a LOT of friends. I was extremely popular in Wisconsin and the mid-west as a teen / 20 something. From that standpoint, I had more fun even than many normal people who got to be naughtier than me.
However, I missed out on valuable life experiences, had forgone choices I badly wanted for no reason other than JW theology, and wound up passing up academic opportuny.
The wasted time was a huge part of this. Who knows what a few 1000 hours in my formative years could have done.
I would say at this point... YES.
My child was molested by a fellow JW a few years ago, we were treated poorly by the elders and ignored by most when we needed them most. This lead us to question everything and lead me to the internet.
Not only was the innocence of my child lost by someone we trusted, but we are also losing our faith in a religion who just doesn't want to deal with such ugly truths and have no idea how to help victims and their families (so they do nothing) It's been tough!
My son put it best when he said "one day everything was normal and we were happy and the next day everything was different." Sadly he's right.
"RUINED" sounds so final. Maybe my head was reeling, maybe I was winded, for awhile. But I walked away, yet with my own better brain that still worked freely and a heart that still could be happy.
I successfully got my 5 children out of that "hole" to go on with their lives, free minds and hearts.
