Sad today

by greenie 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • yknot
    yknot

    Have you thought of leaving a window with this site open and for his ""accidental'' discovery?

    Perhaps one of you threads professing your love, want of compromise, heartbreak watching him choose the WTS over you and the baby and fears for your family's future.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    "At least he's telling you the truth.

    Except it is after courting and starting a family with her while acting as a 'worldly'..........."

    Well he's proved himself to be a royal jerk then. And sad to say can you really trust him now?

  • carla
    carla

    Better to feel sad today and for a short while than a lifetime of sadness while he puts the org before you and your children. Bad enough when you are sad for yourself but when he breaks his children's hearts by putting the org first then you will be sad and angry. Let him go, he cannot and willnot ever fully commit to you. You will never know 'oneness' if you marry this person.

  • greenie
    greenie

    I think he really is just trying to be honest with me. I think he tried to compromise a little and so far it isn't working for him. We still have a lot of talking to do.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    said he's afraid I won't be happy in our life together because of his JW lifestyle

    If he is worth having, drag him out of the cult. You will be doing him a favour.

    Tell him you MIGHT consider marrying him AFTER he has given you a list of kings from Nebuchadnessar to Nabonidus showing what year each king reigned in because you are NOT going to have YOUR child brought up with a head full of BS.

    I wish my wife had done that to me.

    Chris

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    We still have a lot of talking to do.

    Perhaps the 2 of you need to seek some counselling. Do you think he would agree to that? A professional may be able to help you both come to a third alternative that is workable for both of you.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I am sorry greenie...I am going to be very direct.

    You have a child! I hope he does not take her/him with
    him to the Kingdom Hall to be under mind control.
    I would not marry this man,UNLESS he denounces his faith.
    My daughters married JWs ,who in the end had to obey their
    husband every whim....On orders from the old men in Brroklyn.
    of course divorce ended it....

    You can love the man all you want,But PLEASE think of the
    young one....This truly is a very mind altering cult.
    I know I was one for 25 years,Took beatings because I believed
    it was GODS arrangement.......Give your little one a chance

  • greenie
    greenie

    Heaven - can you tell me more about your story? Do you think you actually wouldn't have married him? I seems like I have a lot to lose either way. He is an amazing guy. I think one thing we can do is not rush into marriage to see how we actually work together. He hasn't been practicing the entire time we've been together, so I have no idea what he would be like as a JW.

    Mouthy - were your daughters JWs? You say, "...so in the end had to obey their husband every whim..." but I don't feel I have to obey anyone, just because and definitely not because of their gender. I hear about this headship a lot, but personally, I don't believe in it, so I wouldn't abide by a decision, especially if he said "Because I'm the man and I said so!" He knows that too.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Mouthy - were your daughters JWs? You say, "...so in the end had to obey their husband every whim..." but I don't feel I have to obey anyone, just because and definitely not because of their gender. I hear about this headship a lot, but personally, I don't believe in it, so I wouldn't abide by a decision, especially if he said "Because I'm the man and I said so!" He knows that too

    But if you were married. The elders would come & tell you how wrong you are.
    Of course they will advice him not to marry you UNLESS you become one
    You do what you want. But if you take the little one into this religion dont tell me you love her/him
    Of course he is a nice guy.Most JWs are ,I am told all those at Jonestown & Waco were nice also
    My daughter was a JW... the hubby wasnt ( reversed from you two_) but then he got baptised to
    marry her... Learned the ropes,,, Submission is a wifely duty, She like you wouldnt do all his bidding
    And the Elders caused the trouble ....Telling her she was offending GOD. He now is on his 45th live in woman
    She,,,, my daughter is very happily married to a man ( she left the WT)who appreciates a good woman
    Good Luck my dear

  • greenie
    greenie

    But if you were married. The elders would come & tell you how wrong you are.

    First, this statement shows me how long the JW influence must last on a person. Second, this is the bottom line: I WOULD NOT CARE IF SOME ELDERS CAME BY AND TOLD ME ANYTHING. I DO NOT BELIEVE IN THEIR MESSAGE. It would be like another religion or movement, Hindus or Wiccans or Numerologists, coming by to tell me how wrong I was about something. It wouldn't matter to me. I don't put stock in what they're selling.

    But if you take the little one into this religion dont tell me you love her/him

    I appreciate you're passionate on the topic, but I don't appreciate my love for my child being questioned. I'm sure as a mother you understand.

    I'm glad your daughter found happiness with a nice guy.

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