Good News to Make You Happified

by Farkel 46 Replies latest watchtower beliefs


    Posting to read Farkels thread

  • Farkel

    Geeeezz! My thread has been hijacked by a bunch of CARTOONS!

    They're probably all demonized, too...


  • avishai


  • Hopscotch


    This is very funny but very true


  • VIII

    Hmmm, what about *female problems*?

    You know what I mean, those monthly problems that turn your sweet, submissive wife into a raging demon?

    Otherwise known as her period. Menstration.

    Will *that* still happen? It was created by Jehovah himself. (depending on what you believe)

    Even with Worldwide Genocide, tampons and pads will still be necessary. Something to ponder.

  • iknowall558

    Farkel...must're on a roll with your threads. You have stood out in the 10mins I've been browsing.

  • Farkel


    :Even with Worldwide Genocide, tampons and pads will still be necessary. Something to ponder.

    You ponder that one! I'll just continue to rant!

    Farkel - Anti-Tampon-Pondering CLASS

  • dissed

    Any problems, poof like magic, I'll make them disappear!

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Good one Farkel!

    Problem: Genocide

    Solution: Worldwide Genocide

    Problem: Dyslexia

    Solution: Wildride Getinside

  • glenster

    The first thing I thought of is they wouldn't know how to do the government
    jobs or, usually, ones requiring higher education. But I guess the idea is that
    God would show them how to do whatever as the leader of their government. They
    might even keep their organization and literature distribution as a way to
    disseminate information.

    Then God, being honest, would explain how the JWs leaders used quotes out of
    context to make research books that aren't supportive seem supportive, mischar-
    acterized others and the Bible to them to make distinctive guarantees about what
    it meant and how bad everyone else was seem valid, that thousands of JWs'
    children died putting the JWs leaders' word first, etc. Now that the JWs lead-
    ers' followers understood it all like non-JWs, God would have them all die and
    join the others in heaven.

    Then the JWs leaders would ask God what they were supposed to do. One would
    offer the (hopefully) conciliatory JWs leaders' saying about the light growing
    bigger as they went along--"It's as bright as it's going to get here, Lord--
    what's to grow bigger for us?" God would send them to Earth: "Take Hitler and
    his men over there, with pineapples shoved up their butts, some drinks--they're
    thirsty." As they bent over to pick up the drinks--splorch. When they turned
    back, God was gone, and someone yelled, "Schnell."

    It's just one imaginable interpretation.

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