Good News to Make You Happified

by Farkel 46 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Farkel

  Happified is a REAL Watchtower Word(tm), by the way!

  If you want to give the WTS credit for anything, then at least give them credit for their remarkably simple solution to every ill suffered by mankind.

  It is a "one size fits all" solution and might be part of the appeal the WTS has attracting people who have a hard time with reason and common sense.

  They won't specifically tell you what that solution is, though. If they did, they would even get less converts than they get now, and currently they ain't gettin' many. They just tell you it is "good news" and in fact, it IS good news. Good news for THEM, that is.

  Here are just a smattering of the ills faced by humans and the "solution" offered by JWs in its true and unvarnished form:

  Problem: Disease

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Pollution

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Hunger

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Death

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Aging

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Birth defects

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Poverty

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Natural disasters

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Evil

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Greed

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Birth Defects

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Mental Illness

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Bad Marriages

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Juvenile delinquency

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Substance abuse

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Rape

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Politicians

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Over population

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Pollution

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Inflation

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Deflation

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Flatulation

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Constipation

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Hemorhoids

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Incontinence

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Impotence/Frigidity

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Parking tickets

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Bad Credit

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Home foreclosures

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Why Johnny Can't Read

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Nagging wives

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Sex problems in marriage

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Boobs that are too small

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Boobs that are too large

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Baldness

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Pimples

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Bad Hair Days

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Problem: Stopped up toilets

  Solution: Worldwide Genocide

  Just thought I'd share a bit of "good news" to brighten your otherwise miserable day, folks!

  Farkel
• 

  BabaYaga

  You're too good to us, Farkel!!!

  HA!!!!!
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  out4good3

  If only the WT could bottle that up and sell it?

  Oh wait!!!! They already do!!!!
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  sd-7

  Classic. I've got nothing more to add.

  SD-7
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  Joshnaz

  I can just see the Awake artice featuring: "How to cope with Hemorhoids"
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  OUTLAW

  I believe I`m more HAPPIFIED,than I`ve ever been..

  Thank GoD WBT$ for..

  "World Wide Genocide!"(It even Rymes!!)

  The WBT$ knows how to make every event,a joyous occassion..

  Even Mass Murder!!

  ...............
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  OUTLAW

  This is the WBT$..

  "New Light,Happified Dance".

  The song being danced to is TITLED..

  " Write it Down and Rub it Out!"

  .....................
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  Goshawk

  Outlaw!! You have just revealed yourself as one of the composers of the new Kingdumb Maladies.
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  OUTLAW

  Goshawk..

  I wrote another one for the new WBT$ Song Book also.

  "Jehovah Loves me..Pucker up Satan!"

  

  .....................
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  BorgHater

  Oh Farkel, I laughed so much, now my tummy hurts!

  BorgHater x