The ex: Definately a controller, still tries to control me. I call him a "subtle abuser". Nothing really overt is done or said in public, but behind closed doors - everything I said was stupid, everything I liked was dumb, everything that interested me was idiotic. And absolutely everything was my fault. My favourite was this one time when he was BBQing ( He was really bad at it, turn the heat on high and walk away every time....) and he burnt the crap out of some pork chops. Not just burnt, I'm talking black through and through. Whose fault was it??? Mine, because I HAD BOUGHT DEFECTIVE PORK CHOPS!!!! Sounds funny now, but not so much at the time.
The current boyfriend: Was a successful fader before I came along. Now we're both df'ed. But boy, THIS man knows how to treat his woman! He does all the little things that really tell me how much he loves me. He has too much respect for women to be a JW man. I remind myself every day, not to take him for granted like my ex did to me.