My mom knows my position on not being a JW anymore, and we have a pretty good relationship after some rocky patches. My younger sister is the only one that is still a JW, my older siblings had all left many many years ago, and my younger brother and his family has left now as well. We have had a few non birithday, birthday parties in the past, no candles on the cake, no singing happy birthday, but just all getting together as a family and having a good time.
My older sister says we shouldn't be doing this for them, but so far we've made this concession.
I have a very good friend that is a non JW, and it's their birthday coming up next Friday. I decided to have a big bbq/birthday party for them (I love entertaining) and am going to smoke a pork butt. I debated about inviting my mom and sister, because I don't want to have to not have the whole birthday party this time. If I didn't invite them, they would be upset, so I went ahead and invited them, it's their choice to decide to come and celebrate or not.
I was quite surprised when she said they would come. I did say they could arrange to be in the house when I bring out the cake if that made them more comfortable, and she didn't really say one way or the other if she would or not, so we will see what happens.
I really hope this is the start of us being able to celebrate holidays and special occasions fully and openly with them.