My JW mom and sister are attending a birthday party I'm hosting

by Bumble Bee 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    My mom knows my position on not being a JW anymore, and we have a pretty good relationship after some rocky patches. My younger sister is the only one that is still a JW, my older siblings had all left many many years ago, and my younger brother and his family has left now as well. We have had a few non birithday, birthday parties in the past, no candles on the cake, no singing happy birthday, but just all getting together as a family and having a good time.

    My older sister says we shouldn't be doing this for them, but so far we've made this concession.

    I have a very good friend that is a non JW, and it's their birthday coming up next Friday. I decided to have a big bbq/birthday party for them (I love entertaining) and am going to smoke a pork butt. I debated about inviting my mom and sister, because I don't want to have to not have the whole birthday party this time. If I didn't invite them, they would be upset, so I went ahead and invited them, it's their choice to decide to come and celebrate or not.

    I was quite surprised when she said they would come. I did say they could arrange to be in the house when I bring out the cake if that made them more comfortable, and she didn't really say one way or the other if she would or not, so we will see what happens.

    I really hope this is the start of us being able to celebrate holidays and special occasions fully and openly with them.

  • dinah

    Who knows, BB, maybe your Mom and your other Sis will come out of the borg too. That would be great. (One can always hope)

  • VIII


  • freedomisntfree

    I have a cousin who always emails me on my birthday altho she is jw.I appreciate it.It nice to see them breaking the mold a little


    Wow are going to smoke a pork butt?

    I could understand the chocolate and raspberry cigars, and you know I love me some happy smoke....but you Canadians really know how to party.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Awesome. Good for you. If possible, I think that people should act normal around JW's and let the JW's try to decide how to fit in.
    My dad and step-mother (never JW) said in front of my JW wife that they are thrilled they can celibrate my birthday from now on and they offered a toast at dinner (to something trivial). The wife looked uncomfortable about the b-day thing and had to try to explain her silly "rules" about clinking glasses to step-mother. Not my problem.

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    LOL @ A&W!! Can you and Lenny make it up?? We'd do the party up right if you guys could be here!!

    OTWO - I'm seeing that now. I no longer need to change my life to accomodate their religious beliefs.

    Dinah - that is my hope, but I fear it won't ever happen fully. The only thing keeping her in is the hope that she will be with my father again in the "New System". I'm pretty sure she has her doubts on things, but she clings to that last hope like a life preserver.

    Freedom - there are some JW's that break the mold, and it's refreshing to see that they can see past some of the silly rules.

    VIII - thank you!

  • greenie

    OTWO - JWs can't toast? I didn't know that. Or was it bc it was a toast to your bday?

    Everyone - do any of you have experience inviting your Dub relatives to bday parties and other holidays? Right now it seems like our life is compartmentalized, but it would be nice to have people there. I'd like to give them a way to participate without feeling uber guilty or uncomfortable.

    I was also thinking of explaining it to my Dub that I follow his traditions (like celebrating anniversaries, going to the Memorial), and these are MY traditions, so he should also participate. The thing that gets me sometimes is that you should show love everyday, not just on certain occasions. Really? How often do Dubs do that? As far as I know, only on their wedding anniversaries. Seems like the same thing to me!

  • greenie

    Sorry! Reread my post and it didn't seem clear. What I was trying to say is that all the JWs I know, plus their literature says: "you should show love everyday, not just on certain occasions" but I only see them giving each other gifts and having get togethers on wedding anniversaries...


    Ahhh BB...don't I wish. This is a busy time unfortunately. I miss you.

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