Revenge of the Mentally Unhealthy Family

by ColdRedRain 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • ColdRedRain

    It's still stressful although not critical yet. I'm trying to cope as much as possible... but here is what triggered everything.

    My brother came to town a week ago. The same brother that has such the charming personality (1). The same one that tried to attack me last year (And I do say "tried" because he couldn't figure out how to slip my guard, thanks to my martial arts lessons and JW's prohibition on martial arts). He was repeating the typical abusive behavior that I grew sick and tired of for the better part of my life. He would verbally or physically abuse me, "make it up to me" by buying me off, and then let the situation subside before something else sets him off. I wanted to have nothing to do with the asshole because I knew he'd try that same game with me again, but my family kept on trying to push me into "accepting his apology". I didn't want to accept his apology because I knew I would get sucked into their game again. What's worse, my naive cousin was having the same issues with my family's emotionally abusive behavior and she wanted to off herself too, but she's still taking the red pill and would have nothing to do with me "bashing the organization". I'm honestly afraid that she will kill herself because of the pressure of my family to do something she clearly does not want to do, which is become a Jehovah's Witness. I really don't want her to kill herself because she's very precious to me. I've never had a little sister, and she's the closest thing I've ever had to a little sister. Because of the stress from my family, she married a guy who I knew growing up, was a sociopath. The sociopath manipulated my cousin into marrying her. I knew how he thought. He would always try to manipulate the weak hearted or those down on their luck. I didn't want her getting screwed over and becomming the Whitney Houston type JW that I previously described before my breakdown yesterday.

    I recently started taking up a course in college to help me gain my A+ computer repair certification and use that as a springboard to get the hell out of my family's house, but I couldn't concentrate in class because of the medicine I'm taking. I'm taking seroquel for sleeping aid because preparing for life and the way out of my house has been stressing me out and I can't get any sleep. Also, I became addicted to caffine, just so I can do more work with less energy due to the seroquel I'm taking for sleep.

    I know there's a way out (Find steady employment, move out, change my number and file a restraining order on my family) but it's hard for me to find and keep employment because of this fucking disorder.

    That's what caused the stress in my life last night.

  • BabaYaga

    Cold Red Rain... I'm glad to see you here today.

    Please don't hate me for what I am about to ask/suggest... but are you on a restricted diet? I have read much on the HUGE effect that sugars and gluten can have on ASD cases, and have seen amazing effects of it myself with a loved one.

    Are you on a gluten and sugar-free diet? There is a very real possibility that some of your medications might be reduced if your body responded well.

    Sorry for sounding like a nutter or a nag, but I had to ask, in hopes that it might help.


  • ColdRedRain

    I'm a low carb vegan who hardly eats bread or wheat, just beans, curried vegetables and the like.

  • jeanniebeanz

    I've been trying to think of something meaningful to say for two days... I'm completely flumoxed by the complexity of your situation. I am reduced to offering you a sincere (((((((((((((((CRR))))))))))))))))

    Hopefully, this will resolve sooner rather than later. J
  • BabaYaga

    Thanks for the reply, ColdRedRain... at least you don't think I'm a nutter for asking.

    There will be better days. I'm glad you're here.

  • trueblue

    Dear ColdRedRain,

    I am most certainly glad you are here today too. I did not make a coment last night not knowing what to say, but I was most definately worried about you.

    Like Baba, I wonder what it is that may set you off. I know that many that have grown up with JW familly that have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, (PTSD), one of them is me, and it helps for me to know what it is that sets me off. Unfortunately my older brother did not understand, and took his own life. There where so many poeple at his funeral, just to say because my brother thought that no one cared, but some one really did care, and it really does hurt.

    With PTSD when it is set off you get to living the past as if it is really happening right now, and it is not happening at all. I have times when I go thru it, and I have to just realize that it will pass again, and the best thing to do is find something that I like to do, and work very hard on it, then pat myself on the back for my acomplishments.

    I am glad that you know what is causing your stress, and know what to do about it. I am glad that you went to study computer repair. I commend you for that. Just take it one step at a time. Please hang in there because there is some one who really cares about you.

    By the way Seroquel is for PTSD also. Take Care buddy...

  • shamus100

    I'm glad you're around today too, buddy.

    One day at a time. Look at your problems one at a time - looking at them all at once will drive you nuts.

  • carla

    This may be the last thing you want to do but have you thought of going to a church for help? Explain how your family is basically blackmailing you into being a jw or being homeless? Or contact Catholic or Lutheran services? they often help families & individuals and do not require membership to the church. Your up in MN? lots of Lutherans up there maybe try them first? just a thought if things are out of hand and you are desperate.

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