It's still stressful although not critical yet. I'm trying to cope as much as possible... but here is what triggered everything.
My brother came to town a week ago. The same brother that has such the charming personality (1). The same one that tried to attack me last year (And I do say "tried" because he couldn't figure out how to slip my guard, thanks to my martial arts lessons and JW's prohibition on martial arts). He was repeating the typical abusive behavior that I grew sick and tired of for the better part of my life. He would verbally or physically abuse me, "make it up to me" by buying me off, and then let the situation subside before something else sets him off. I wanted to have nothing to do with the asshole because I knew he'd try that same game with me again, but my family kept on trying to push me into "accepting his apology". I didn't want to accept his apology because I knew I would get sucked into their game again. What's worse, my naive cousin was having the same issues with my family's emotionally abusive behavior and she wanted to off herself too, but she's still taking the red pill and would have nothing to do with me "bashing the organization". I'm honestly afraid that she will kill herself because of the pressure of my family to do something she clearly does not want to do, which is become a Jehovah's Witness. I really don't want her to kill herself because she's very precious to me. I've never had a little sister, and she's the closest thing I've ever had to a little sister. Because of the stress from my family, she married a guy who I knew growing up, was a sociopath. The sociopath manipulated my cousin into marrying her. I knew how he thought. He would always try to manipulate the weak hearted or those down on their luck. I didn't want her getting screwed over and becomming the Whitney Houston type JW that I previously described before my breakdown yesterday.
I recently started taking up a course in college to help me gain my A+ computer repair certification and use that as a springboard to get the hell out of my family's house, but I couldn't concentrate in class because of the medicine I'm taking. I'm taking seroquel for sleeping aid because preparing for life and the way out of my house has been stressing me out and I can't get any sleep. Also, I became addicted to caffine, just so I can do more work with less energy due to the seroquel I'm taking for sleep.
I know there's a way out (Find steady employment, move out, change my number and file a restraining order on my family) but it's hard for me to find and keep employment because of this fucking disorder.
That's what caused the stress in my life last night.