My Story

by ~Jen~ 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • bluecanary

    Honey that crap your family put you through is ABUSE! Congratulations on getting out of there. Please, please find yourself a good therapist so you can work through this stuff. Having a loving boyfriend is great, but he can't do it all by himself. Find a caring professional who can help you, too.

    It helps your peace of mind, upon leaving the witnesses due to personal issues, to do a little research into the inaccuracy of their teachings. This thread has some of my research into the matter.

    A good book: 10 Stupid Things Women do to Mess Up Their Lives.


  • Chalam

    Hi Jen and welcome aboard!

    I hope you find restoration, peace and real love.

    All the best,


  • cantleave

    Welcome Jen. Best of luck rebuilding your life.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Welcome and thanks for sharing, Jen.

    Since I'm a trained elder... I am unprepared to give any practical real-world advice.

    The only thing that comes to mind is to take care of YOU. Once you are in a better position knowing yourself, what you need, what makes you happy, what makes you unhappy, what you want for your future, loving yourself, then you are in a better position to take care of yourself and your sons. Then, establish whether you're ready for another relationship with the new guy or someone else.

    Too often I've seen "sisters" go into relationships on the "rebound", escaping a bad home or other bad relationships and quickly grab someone thinking they will provide them with love and happiness. Then maybe having a baby will make them happy. When they're still unhappy, well, there's medication or whatever else that will make them happy. It makes for a very unhappy story. But that doesn't have to be your story anymore.

    There are plenty of experienced people here and out in the real world that can advise and help you through this tough time.

    B the X

  • startingovernow

    Wow - time to get a copy of both "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and "Take Back Your Life" - both books that explain cults and the importance to realizing that fear of failure on the "outside" is just one of many tools cult use to control people. It may not work out with the new boyfriend. Even so, you can be free of the cult and be your own person!

  • VIII

    Hi Jen and Welcome!

    You have received some great advice. I would look to working outside the home as a #1 priority. You need to support yourself and potentially your children. You also need a therapist. Going to an abuse counselor is great advice. Your county or city might actually offer free care, I'd look into that.

    As Billy the Ex-Bethelite noted, try not to put too much faith in a rebound relationship and please, for your sake and your future, don't get pregnant yet. You're young, you can wait.

    And, best of all, you have this board as a resource. There is a tremendous amount of help to be had. All you have to do is ask.

  • DNCall

    Hi Jen,


    Regarding "the world" being all bad, my experience is that, yes, there are bad people. However the good people far outnumber them. These people are good in ways not comprehended or contemplated by the Witnesses. They have built hospitals and donated vast amounts to any number of charities. In war, they have given their lives for ideals that have proven to be for the good of mankind. They have created art, in many forms, that enriches our lives. They have produced literature that expands our understanding of just about anything there is to understand. They solve problems and work hard at meaningful tasks. They love unconditionally.

    In reality, you are leaving a very limited and artificial environment.

    Prior comments in this thread have advised you to inform yourself. Please do, so as to steer away from the bad and embrace the good.

    Best of success.

  • Hopscotch

    Hi Jen

    Welcome and thank you for sharing your story with us. Jen have already proved that you have a huge amount of inner strength by getting yourself out of JWs, a bad marriage and standing up to an abusive, controlling family. So don't underestimate how powerful you really are.

    All I can add to what the others have already told you is to suggest you spend some quiet time on your own listening to your inner voice. Get to know the real you. You are still very young so you have the chance to build a future for yourself that fits what you want out of life - something many of us missed out on. And after a while you will find that there are so many caring and kind people out there who will be able to help you get where you want to be. Most people in the 'world' are nothing life we were led to believe.

    A book that really helped me when I was beginning my journey out of the witnesses was The Power Is Within You by Louise L. Hay.

    Wishing you and your children all the best


  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    I have a book for you and it's not about religion.

    It will teach you how to think, which is a skill that is very lopsided in us born-ins.

    It will be good for your kids too, and should go some way to immunising them against cult thinking, without actually being about cults. I have given a copy to my son who has three kids. My fingers are crossed. Teach Your Child How to Think: Edward de Bono

    Welcome to the forum.


  • tenyearsafter

    Hi Jen...welcome!

    I think you have been given some excellent is a process you have to go through. Huge life changes take time to adjust patient and don't make any snap decisions, but gather as much information as you can. If you need an excellent balanced analysis of JW's, I would highly recommend reading Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz. I would also read about cults and how they exercise control. Steve Hassan's book is an excellent resource on that. Don't get gets better every day!


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