Status: Compromised. Not much time left.

by sd-7 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • cantleave

    SD-& I am struggling with some the issues you touch on and I am 42. My mum doesn't slap me though, ebven though she did frequently when I was growing up. Don't worry about the Elders, just do what you have to to move on. Good luck

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    For sincere witness youths the truth seems to neuter them. They become unable to move forward in relationships as they become armageddon junkies. The perspective on life and any normal progression to autonomy is shot to hell. SD is moving on. I think he sees the light. Good luck with all your choices. Waking up is hard to do. W.Once

  • CandleSurgeon

    SD-7, I understand where you are coming from. I was very "soft" as well when I was "in." I left when I was 22, the difference is I got married when I was 19 and had already moved out of the house. But I understand your "sheeplike"-ness. Leaving the JW's was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and the fact that you are doing it shows you do have a great deal of strength in you. As far as being "soft/sheeplike" no worries mate a few years in the "world" will give you a much more rounded personality and ability to face confrontation head on. The best of luck to you, this is a difficult time in your life to be sure but it will get better :D


  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Hi SD-7,

    It's good to see you back.

    either disassociate or face an invasive witch trial

    I don't agree with that at all. You don't have to do either. You can just refuse to communicate with them. They are not your religious leaders, so they are of no importance. They are just mind controlled zombies, puffed up with their own self importance. Do not answer any question they ask, just show them the door. If they won't leave, tell them you have an appointment and go for a drive/walk/whatever.

    Your mother is out of order and is not behaving in the manner prescribed by the Watchtower, and published for the public to see on their official website.

    From the official WT Website: Cutting off from the Christian congregation does not involve immediate death, so family ties continue. Thus, a man who is disfellowshipped or who disassociates himself may still live at home with his Christian wife and faithful children. Respect for God's judgments and the congregation's action will move the wife and children to recognize that by his course, he altered the spiritual bond that existed between them. Yet, since his being disfellowshipped does not end their blood ties or marriage relationship, normal family affections and dealings can continue.

    Take care


  • jamiebowers

    I've been wondering what's going on with you. I haven't been online all day and still haven't checked my email. Hopefully there will be one there with a little more detail. Since one of the last things I wrote to you was to get in touch with your beloved, I'll take the opportunity now to say, "I told you so!" LOL! I'm so happy that you're finally taking action on your own behalf. Good for you, my brother!

    As for the rest of you who have been critical or unkind to my friend, sd-7, you don't know the whole story. He has shown incredible character and strength through this whole ordeal, and it's an honor to count him as a friend. Maybe someday he'll share with you exactly how extraordinary he is. Maybe if you would've taken the time to really get to know his situation, you wouldn't be so judgmental.

    sd-7, call me when you have the time. Again, I am so happy for you...and I couldn't be more proud of you, my brother, my dear friend.

    Your sister in apostasy,


  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite


    I notice you said this in your earlier post:

    I suffer from low self-esteem, depression, and inability to make sound decisions on my own.

    From what I get out of your history, I can understand. You are still in the grieving/leaving process and have many regrets, fears, uncertainties. Much of this will clear up as you move on and start planning for the real future, not the fake future presented by Watchtower Corporation. As all the "gloom and doom" starts clearing away, as it should, you will see that you have reason to be confident, positive, and able to make your own decisions and live with them.

    Have you made mistakes in the past? Sure, but you're still alive, have a degree, a job. Will you make mistakes in the future? Sure, but don't let the fear of mistakes stop you from living.

    Hope that helps.

    I really should take my own advice before I lecture anyone else, though.

    B the X

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    I think what we're trying to say is you are stronger than you think. Hardly anything works out the way we want it and adjustments have to be made. That is life. So get on with it.


    There is such a thing as tough love. Sometimes one who cares must deliver a message that isn't the softest or gentlest.

    I think you'll find, once you're on your own, when you make the decisions about how your apartment looks, what food you'll eat, paying bills, I think it is possible for your confidence to grow.

    Being in the dysfunctional family you're in, it is no wonder you have low self-esteem and confidence issues. Anyone would given your circumstances.

    Now is the time for you to leave. Unfortunately life rarely presents us with situations in the way we would like them. Usually it's quite the opposite. This board is full of people who can share some very difficult circumstances.

    Good luck.

    "You feel unloved? Welcome to the world. Everyone is unloved. And incidently, I love you." - Sir John Gielgud Arthur (1981)

    "You're born, you live and you die. There are no do-overs, no second chances to make things right if you frak 'em up the first time. Not in this life anyway. Like I said, you make your choices and you live with them. And in end you are those choices." -- Kendra Shaw Battlestar Galactica

  • flipper

    SD-7- I agree with Satanus. Don't sell yourself too short. You sound intelligent and you are handling it well so far. Just take it step by step and stay close to those who have unconditional love for you. You need positive upbuilding people around you right now who won't drag you down. Hey- Come to think of it - that's why we're here ! Hang in there and keep your cool. You will get through this

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