Something terrible happened. I did something to compromise myself and unfortunately my double agent status is over.
I will soon have to move out on my own and either disassociate or face an invasive witch trial that I honestly would only take part in for the purpose of secretly recording it.
The woman I loved and lost, I've regained, out of nowhere. Surprisingly, I told her of some of my research and she didn't freak out at all. There are still things I need to tell her that may cause her to leave again. But there's some measure of hope.
I'm losing my mind--as many of you may be--but I needed to tell you. SD-7 is no more. Soon he'll be an announcement.
My own mother is already treating me as though I'm DF'd, though she comes into my room to iron her clothes. She's said nothing to me since yesterday morning, and that's totally unlike her. The only thing I got from her was an interrogation and a few slaps in the face (not hard enough to do any damage). Already learning firsthand all about conditional love as taught by the Watchtower Society. On the plus side, didn't make any serious friends on the inside. Just people who liked my talks, elders who wanted to use me for organizational busy work, and folks who mostly ignored me apart from a simple greeting.
Take care, folks. Might not make it through this, but if I do, I'll see you on the outside.