by iknowall558 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • HappyGuy
    The only thing she could say was.."Well, they did it in the 1st Century."

    This is a lie. 1 Corinthians was talking about EXTREME, open, flagrant, immorality that would be recognized by people outside the congregation as such. It was not talking about matters of conscience or convuluted doctrines that people outside the congregation would not recognize as "gross immorality".

    The purpose of 1 Corinthians 5 was to keep the congregation free of EXTREME immoral influences.

    The WTBTS has expanded this to include deeply personal matters that would never become known to the congregation, let alone people outside the congregation except for the gossips known as elders' wives.

    And this "not eating with such a man" doesn't mean that you treat them as if they no longer exist, it means that you don't SOCIALIZE with them in an overly familiar way.

    There is a huge difference between say an engaged couple who have sex before marriage and someone openly living in a clearly sexual relationship with someone they are not married to. The engaged couple would not be disgracing the Christain name because it would not be widely known that it happened. That is unless the couple asks the elders for help and the elders' wives find out about that, then it will be shouted from the roof tops.

    The WTBTS has twisted this principle into something horribly grotesque. They are liars.

  • VoidEater


    I'm glad that you see the friends and caring folks that are in your life - and so sorry that "family" hasn't done a tenth of that.

    All I can add is that this seems so much like the "normal" family relationships I grew up with in "the Truth".

  • besty

    hey Lozzza - sorry to hear you are still going through the mill - will take some time to even out I guess - my advice.....

    throw yourself into a rebound relationship :-))))) just kidding ....

    seriously though - have you read CCMC? The section on how cult members have split personalities was invaluable to how I view my family.

    My brother (CoBOE and made 1000 mile round trip to give evidence at my JC, which I suspect he had engineered) and his wife are rigorously shunning me, my wife and our two boys. My Mum is not shunning us completely and would in fact have more to do with us if I would let her. I have to deal with how to handle the toxicity and futility of such a relationship.

    Knowing that my family have a real personality (which loves me and my family) and a cult personality (which shuns me and my family) explains why they act like they do and also explains why I hate the WTS. The WTS forces families apart by enforcing choices that should never have to be made.

    Anyways - just my 0.02 - but CCMC is a must if you haven't already been there done that.

    Take care Lorraine

    Paul M

  • nugget

    Lorraine the situation is so unfair and you are being treated dreadfully by some. The advice to surround yourself with those who love and support you is good advice. Let these bad relationships go if you can they are harmful to you and your boys. You do not exist to them perhaps they shouldn't exist to you either. That way if they don't contact you it ceases to have the power to upset you.

    I agree with Happyguy shunning is unscriptual and is used far too frequently by JWs. After all Jesus was still associating with Judas right up until the moment when he left to betray him. If Judas wasn't shunned for his actions what possible justification is there for the way JWs behave to others.

    I can see you are a lady of action but do take time to think before you act and review how much involvement you want your sons to have in your one woman crusade. I know you wouldn't want them tho feel they were taking second place to a campaign. This is probably unneccessary advice as your posts indicate how much you love them but sometimes grief can make us do crazy stuff.

    I feel for you this would be a hard situation at the best of times made so much harder by insensitive people. Have a fabulous Christmas with your boys we'll be thinking of you.

  • iknowall558

    happy guy I agree totally with what you're saying. An elder used this scripture to describe to my husband how I would be/was viewed, (as I had DA'd), then followed it up by saying that actually ........"I was worse than that". Yes, I was worse than a man who was sleeping with his fathers wife! Was he calling me a whore....!?...because I no longer had the same beliefs as he did ?

    Void eater I know Im not an isolated case, as far as being shunned by family, I just get so enraged by it at times. Yes, I have friends, good friends who know what the true meaning of Agape is. Dont think I havent thought about it... : ) Yes, I've read the book and I took notes at the time...but it was when I had just left, so maybe I should give it another read. I know what you're saying about the split personality though, I can see it clearly in Nan. Thanks again. I am getting less crazy as the weeks go on.

  • iknowall558

    Hi Nugget. Nice to make your aquaintance. I really appreciate your comments. I wear my heart on my sleeve and Im a really open and down to earth person, but I feel I need to make clear that this campaign of mine is not a knee-jerk reaction fuelled by my emotions. I am emotional a lot of the time I will admit, but this is due to the circumstances I am in at the moment, but Im working my way through it quite well considering....perhaps too well to begin with, which is why things kind of caught up with me I suppose. I know I wont always feel this way, but I do have to let things take their course so that I dont end up needing proper help. I am a sensible person too and I do give consideration to things before I make a decision on it. This is something I have thought about for a long time but just didnt know the right way to go about it. My Hubby and I together were keen on doing our bit to expose the org. and how they deal with those who try to leave or question their teachings. We put our shepherding visits online and my hubby put up his JC online. (You can find this under HOBOKEN).

    Since I left last year, I have tried to pass on what I know about the 'other side' of JWs to anyone who will listen to me. I use my 'ministry skills' (Lol) to introduce it into the conversation with the 'wee wifey' in the bus queue, the taxi driver, the neighbour, hairdresser....etc. I leave pamphlets highlighting the child abuse issue within the org. in supermarkets and public notice boards, and a pointer to look up Silentlambs. on net. Recently I requested leaflets from 'First Ministries' and got them 2 weeks ago. I also had a friend print off hundreds of copies of a leaflet for the public. I am not a Lone crusader... There were a few of us who all left at the same time last year, and were, and are now, still the 'talk of the steamie'. I will be getting help to distribute these and my children will not be involved in any way whatsoever. My boys are, and always will be first and foremost in my life.

    I have tried to just get on with being 'normal', but I just feel so strongly, that I have to do 'something'. I tried going to church and getting involved in that, but I just dont feel at home in that kind of environment any more. I would never really knock it, but being an active apostate is what is giving me some satisfaction and also the hope that others, even just one person, may come out of this cult. It would be harder for me if I did nothing. Thanks so much for what you said to me though, I appreciate it, and I hope you and your family have a great Christmas too.

  • nugget

    Lorraine, thank you so much for the added insight into your efforts to inform and enlighten others. I tried to listen to the JC recordings from the earlier post. I say tried because 20 minutes in I was so frustrated with the double speak and Uriah Heap insincerity I had to stop and pour myself a stiff drink. I will go back to it again once I have a clear head and a good noghts sleep.

    It is a shame that someone who has had to put up with so much should still be going through the mill. Hopefully the new year will bring a better fortune to you all. Wishing you all the best.

  • iknowall558

    Nugget. Podcast 8 (Deathorobedience blog) is the one to listen to. Its a bit more heated and to the point. Its where my hubby confronts an Elder at the Kingdom Hall about telling my mother to have nothing to do with me.....her daughter. It makes very interesting listening.

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