What do you do to keep blood flowing to the brain?

by John Doe 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    If you work in retail, I'm sure you've had this situation. A drop dead knockout woman walks in who's dressed provocatively and asks you a question. You can actually feel the blood draining from your skull and your speech reverting to a grunting, stumbling cave man talk.

    "Hi! Can you tell me where the mini blinds are?"

    "Yeah, uh, ha ha ha. He he, they're, uh, ooh ooh ooh, that way. Hoo hoo."

    And then, she smiles a devious smile knowing exactly what she's doing, and you start to get angry at yourself as you feel magnets in your eyeballs pulling your gaze downward. And even though you feel like a fool, you have a grin on your face like a jack ass eating briars through a barbed wire fence. The cart pusher looks over and is drooling and panting like a dog, and the women in the store get a look on their faces like a cop when you offer him a donut.

    I tell you, after about the fifth time today, I've decided it's good that we wear loose aprons.

    So what do you do to control your thought processes in the presence of such distractions?

  • WuzLovesDubs

    John...you are a drooling neanderthal.

    Gouge your sinning eyes out immediately with a spork and sin no more!

  • John Doe
    John Doe
    John...you are a drooling neanderthal.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Give her your phone #

  • Satanus

    Get some business style cards made up, just for situations like this. You could put your name, what kind of sex you like, how much you are willing to pay for it, and your phone number. Surely, there's enough blood left in your body to able to pass girls like this one of those. On the other hand, if you're as good looking as you say, put in how much you charge pretty girls to bask in your light. Your sexphone should be ringing, almost steady. Make sure your bathroom is spotless. Good luck.


  • Elsewhere

    The first thing I do is identify as many flaws in her appearance as I can and focus on them.

    This is also useful for teasing her to help demonstrate that I'm not completely taken by her and to also help set her off balance so I can be the dominate party in the conversation.

    Oddly enough, it is my experience that women find this teasing to be attractive.

  • Elsewhere

    Regarding the teasing, you can also just make up crap to teaser her about:

    Her: blah... blah... blah...
    You: Hold on a second. [Pause and stare at one of her eyes]
    You: Your left eye just moved off to the side while you're right eye stayed straight!


    I always keep fresh bacon on hand,sealed in Plastic wrap..

    No woman can resist fresh bacon!!

    It`s in the Bible!..

    Along with the other stuff I wrote there..

    I had to staple in the extra pages..No one seems to notice..


  • Gregor

    Go on offense and tell her she is the finest looking heifer you've seen in ages and "would you be offended if I asked you out for a drink?"

    This will take all the tension out of the situaltion and probably get you a reprimand or fired.

  • John Doe
    John Doe
    On the other hand, if you're as good looking as you say

    Huh? Did I ever say that?

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