WT Society Makes JW's Feel Bad about Themselves - No Self Worth

by flipper 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    Most Christian religions that I know of teach that man is a sinner and not worthy.

    Religion is a racket and a snare and a way for people, preachers, priest to make money.

    Everyone has to work out their own salvation.

    Some people are happy in their missery some people want to grow.

    100 years from the day you were born there will be all new people.

    I think we are spirits having material experiences.

    But we are not all going through life together.

    And we dont have the same experiences.

    We all end up at the same destinaton.

    Dead.

    Some ride first class, some hop a freight and ride in the box car.

    First class and box car riders have stories to tell, journeys.

    Its the journey not the destination.

    More to your point I remember as a young man in my 20's being very mad at my mother

    for raising me as a JW. I remember thinking according to my mother and the tower, everything

    is wrong, everything is bad, the only thing that was good was going to meetings and selling

    magazines.

    I said to myself this cant be true. Its a living nightmare. And the source of much depression

    and anxiety.

  • The Berean
    The Berean

    leavingwt: Video makes total sense. Thanx

  • villabolo
    villabolo

    Luke 17:7-9 (NIV): Suppose one of you had a seervant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, "Come along now and sit down to eat"? Would he not rather say, "Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink"? Would he thank the servant because he did what was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, "We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.".

    Unfortunately that seems to be the Christian attitude. No self worth.

    villabolo

  • startingovernow
    startingovernow

    Flipper, where were you when I needed to hear this so many years ago?

    When I was studying I always got the impression that the JWs studying with me and the ones at the podium were accusing me of doing something I wasn't doing. Instead of heeding the red flag, I instead was determined to prove that I was in fact a good girl, worthy of serving the true God and being with His people. Even when an elder accused me of smoking when I met to become an unbaptized publisher, I still was determined to prove myself (I lived with smokers so must have smelled like smoke). They didn't ask me if I smoked, but instead in their explaining that publishers of the good news need to be living examplary lives blah, blah, blah when I answered no to the question of doing anything that would prevent me from being a good little publisher I said no, one of the elders blurted out, "You can't smoke!" It stunned me, since anyone who knew me knew that I was the last person who would put a cigarette in my mouth. Only after saying that I didn't smoke did the other elder ask if people in my family smoked. Even after saying who in my (non-JW) family smoked (which really was none of their business), it still seemed like the elder who accused me still didn't believe me. I wish I had been smart enough to never return to the KH. But, no, I really wanted to be a JW.

    It was after baptism that I saw that except for few a small number of JWs, there are pretty much two camps among JWs - those that feel badly about themselves, and those that work hard to bring anyone else who doesn't down. Somehow I actually had a bit of self-worth, but did have troubles dealing with the fact that I had no friends my age among JWs, which eventually turned to absolutely no friends my age because the only people I associated were JWs. When I got depressed about this and went to the elders, they made the assumption that I did not feel worthy of Jehovah. I said, no, not that's not it at all. You should have seen the looks on their faces. It was like I had given the wrong answer, or that I was wrong to have the audacity to say I actually felt like I was worthy of God's love! Where does it come from? Well, sadly JWs aren't the only ones that are taught unworthiness. I think the difference is that JWs have to hear it more than on Sunday mornings. With all the meetings, all the publications, and the requirement to put so many hours in service in order to be approved by others, JWs are really in an impossible situation. Some may be able to follow the routine at the sacrifice of themselves and their families for a while, but as soon as the reality of such an unbalance way of life catches up to them - whether it be health problems, monetary problems, need for family time or whatever - they will be accused of letting sin and imperfection get the best of them.

  • flipper
    flipper

    Wow ! Great responses ! thanks.

    OUTLAW- Very true. Witnesses can change from being high and mighty to feeling lower than scum. The leaders of the cult keep these people on an emotional roller coaster for sure !

    SD-7- Good points you make. So true that the WT society makes witnesses think they can never do enough, never please enough , or never be good enough. There is always one more goal - but never attainable . Once you get it- can't be satisfied. They just keep promising these people false hopes and false illusions - until witnesses have wasted their entire lives. Really sad.

    WARMASASUNNED- Really interesting what happened to that sister you described. Sometimes the biggest whiners and fault finders end up being the ones with skeletons in their closets and all their sins come spilling out of the closet. Actually kind of funny to see a pompous a-hole get their just desserts. Thanks for the kind words about my daughter. Yes- it does rip me up inside - but I do keep positive . Just a question of when she will get out, not if . It's how I need to look at it.

    GIRLIE- I know for a fact that yes, a lot of witnesses were on pills for depression or other afflictions. How else could they cope listening to mind control drivel ?

    LEAVING WT- Yes, evangelical cults DO make people feel guilty, bad about themselves. I remember hearing that " real life " expression often in the witnesses. Good U-tube, thanks for posting it. The gentlemen there talking I agree completely with. Very good discussion.

    DARKLIGHT3R- Very true. It always seemed that the WT society expected us to put blind faith in every word. Kind of like if THEY didn't understand it - then WE would never understand it. We were not allowed to understand ANYTHING without the WT societies input. Hypocrites is accurate, yes.

    CANTLEAVE- So right you are. I saw some very talented people have to bury their talents also , just fritter away their talents or skills to come into line with clone type cult mind control. Very sad. I hope as many can get out as can now.

    THE BEREAN- Very good points you make. It does become a " vicious cycle of self-deprecation " to many people. They just can't get out of the mindset of being born sinful and spend lots of their time beating their self with an imaginary stick feeling guilty needlessly. You are right- until they get out of that mindset they will continue being unhappy and not satisfied with themselves.

    JAGUAR BASS- I totally agree with you. 100 years from now - all different people will be here- we will be dead. Sobering thought- but honest and true. So exactly- I feel we have to make the most out of THIS LIFE we have in the here and now - because it's all we got. I too think religions and cults are a snare and a racket just trying to make money off of fearful people.

    VILLABOLO- My elder dad used to ALWAYS quote that scripture to me you cited ! " Good for nothing slaves. What we have done is what we ought to have done " ! Drove me nuts. I'd say, " Yeah, O.K. But can't we enjoy what we are doing while we are at it ? Does it have to be such drudgery ? " God I'm glad I'm out !

    STARTINGOVERNOW- It's so true, even when we didn't commit wrongs - the elders would still look at us like we were guilty. That is good you stood up to the elders for your own self esteem. You are right- they don't expect us to do that. They are used to people cowering under with fear and hanging their heads saying, " I'm so sinful brother so and so ! " You are right - witnesses have it verbally beaten into them repeatedly that they are sinners, not good enough , and will never measure up to Jehovah's standards perfectly. It's enough to make a person throw their hands up and ask " Why try ? "

    But the JW's are very unbalanced in life. Too fanatical and many times marriages suffer, as do relationships with grandparents or children. Just too much guilt and fear pushing people in the witnesses

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX

    Flipper - what you say is true - but it goes even further.

    When I was growing up (I related some of this to my wife - who studied with JWs - but never was one - she was astonished!), I was not allowed to 'receive honor' of any sort... I'm speaking of grade school... no "Senior Honors Night", no National Honor Society, no graduation (I graduated - but I had to 'sneak' back after the graduation ceremonies and get my diploma from the main office), no sports where one might excel, no nothing!

    No birthdays - partly the belief is that we are giving 'honor' to the person - over jehobah.

    No praise

    No attaboys

    no nuthin!

    Put that on a person day-in and day-out - and after a while they will start to feel like... well they'll have very low esteem and self-worth. I speak from experience.

    Of course... not all JWs did this... maybe it was just my mom - and siblings that believed this.

    Regards,

    Jim TX

  • is there help out there
    is there help out there

    They will beat you down to the point where you are not good to please the WT and you end up feeling worthless. But like a alcholic you do not realize there is a problem until hit bottem. That is the only time you will seek help. I the JW case run do walk and get out.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    You just can't control and manipulate people for very long if they feel good about themselves; have good self-esteem. They just won't take it very long.

    If you can devalue the person controlling them is much easier - they make better followers and will have less desire to revolt

  • Lucky Calamity
    Lucky Calamity

    The helpless, hopeless pessimism of my own family is infuriating. The impossibility of convincing them that they could make a difference in the world through civic engagement, voting, volunteering, DOING something besides preaching -- overwhelmingly frustrating.

    Last time I had an online discussion with a witness friend of the family, I could not believe how negative he was about getting involved in anything outside of work, because every one has an agenda and it's all like some conspiracy of satan to control us . . . so frustrating . . .

  • myelaine
    myelaine

    God puts great value on each and every one of you...and He wants you to remember Him.

    And (as if you were) guardian angels, remember that He puts great value on your babies babies too.

    love michelle

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