Tiny bit lost

by Daft Fader 50 Replies latest members private

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  sweet pea

  Hi matie :-)

  Welcome to the madhouse! I know it took a lot for you to come here, let alone post, so congratulations.

  You really are not alone here - when I first came here I devoured everyone's experiences and shed many tears at what people had been through - so much unnecessary trauma and sadness because of one crazy religion. It made me very angry and bitter but over time I've come to terms with it and found peace in my life. (I still get a little angry and sad at some of things that go on though, I don't think this will ever change - it's natural to be upset at injustice, you'd be a hard person if you didn't).

  Researching all the deception that has come from the Watch Tower Society over the years, not to mention the bloodguilt, I quickly realised they had nothing to do with God and researching the Bible and reading books like "God Is Not Great" led me to agnosticism/atheism which totally takes away your fear of being destroyed by a vengeful God. Although, to be honest, I always had what I thought was a good relationship with God (you know I was never as rebellious as you ) - now I realise I just had an imaginary friend! - so I was never afraid of being destroyed. However, if there is a God, I don't think it makes sense that would destroy people for being your average human being - we are all his creation, his children. You know you could never stop loving your son whatever he did, I know I love my children more than anything else in this world. There must be consequences for bad behaviour but eternal damnation?

  I too had a mini nervous breakdown when I left and counselling helped (although I didn't have that many sessions) - another young friend of ours has had lots of counselling and she swears by it - get a recommendation and/or check out Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

  Some great books that helped me to get my head together....

  Crisis of Conscience - Ray Franz

  Combatting Cult Mind Control - Steve Hassan

  Seductive Poison - Deborah Layton

  Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) - Carol Tavris & Elliot Aronson

  The great thing about this site is the wealth of information and experience from everyone going back several years - spend some time checking out some of the earlier posters - Farkel, Seeker4, AllTimeJeff, Mary, Scully, BillyTheEx, Jgnat, RunningMan, AlanF.

  And don't worry about what you're posting - you're among friends here and no one is here to judge (apart from Reniaa that is.... ). It's a real community and a place to heal.

  Big hugs girlfriend.
• 

  besty

  you couldn't make it up :-)))))))))))))))))))
• 

  sweet pea

  Duplicate post. Must be gremlins in the system today.....
• 

  yknot

  

  .... finding out what you believe after sifting through WTS can take time.... keep examining until you are satisfied

  The site is a bit sketchy today, double posting happens to all of us.

  Glad you have joined, I am sure you will find us very supportive and lively~!
• 

  quietlyleaving

  Hi daft fader

  I just want to reconcile myself to who I am and if thats not a Jehovah's Witness then I am still the same person if not better for admitting that I can't live up to the impossible standards. I don't want a perfect world, because anything in excess becomes bland and boring.

  amen to that

  welcome to JWN

  ql
• 

  Dagney

  Hello Daft Fader!

  Welcome to JWN! You will find many people here struggling through the same feelings you have. This is the place to come and sort it through.

  Unfortunately, one can't just change our feelings simply because we wish it so. They change with action. Some have really found help with the books by Steve Hassan regarding mind control and cults. You learn the techniques of the cults and why they are so powerful, and how to combat them.

  Also, professional counseling, perhaps someone who specializes in high control groups, would be a huge benefit.

  For me, I took a good hard look at what I wanted in my life and future, and made myself only do things that were in alignment with it. It took a bit of work...but now it comes natural.

  There is a wealth of knowledge here and experience here. We are so happy you are here. We look forward to your comments.

  xox
• 

  tinker

  Not sure how to delete but I know it can be done.....me too, I often slip and duplicate posts. Not a worry, don't let it stop you from posting.

  So Welcome Daft, Thank you for sharing your story. Opening up and expressing your feelings goes a long way toward recovery. It took me a long time to gather the courage and put into words how deeply I was grieving. Fading and ultimitly lossing your belief system is a shock to your mental and physical health and it takes time to heal. Even though you have been on the road away from JW for some time if sounds like you have not found a way to let it go. Talking it out here will help, I guarantee.

  As Besty said, lots of different types here, from idoits to the voice of reason. I have looked at other XJW sites and for me this place is the Best. Take a look at Freeminds too. A great bit of work by Dogpatch, a memeber here, I think there is a link. If you have doctrinal issues do some research and be amazed the info you will find. Learning the real scoop on many JW basic doctrins helped settle and calm my warped conscience from 50yrs of JWism brain drain.

  Peace - Love + Rock On!
• 

  jamiebowers

  Welcome to JWN! Most of us who are out felt like failures at one time or another for not being able to live up to the impossibly high standards set by the WB&TS. Many of those who remain in the organization have mental problems for the same reason. But if you do your research you'll find that no one, not even the governing body lives up to the standards that they themelves set. In a nutshell, all of us were decieved into thinking that we had the true religion, when in fact, we were involved in a cult built around a money making corporation. It is corrupt from top to bottom.

  It's okay if those words frighten you. Give yourself some time to do your own research, and it won't be long until you're free of the guilt and mind control. In some cases the trauma of entering and exiting a cult is so great that counseling is necessary. If you need it, get it. But in the meantime there will always be someone here to lend a hearing ear and a knowing empathy.
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  besty

  www.freeminds.org
• 

  BluesBrother

  Hello and welcome Daft Fader , I like the way you said

  I am not anti witness as such, I wish none of them harm I just don't know how to put the two worlds together.

  Most of us on here recognize that the vast majority of them are very decent people and we try to maintain respect. It is just the Organization that often acts in a way that is reprehensible, and we show that, when we can.

  Stick around...keep posting and I am sure that things will become clearer and wounds will heal.