by SnakesInTheTower 45 Replies latest social humour
Did you hear that Michael Jackson apparently didn't die of cardiac arrest, it was food poisoning. Apparently he had put some 12 year old nuts in his mouth.
Michael Jackson will not be cremated, nor buried, he will be recycled into shopping bags, this way he can remain the same way in death as he was in life. White, Plastic and Dangerous for children to play with.
Tuesday,
That is the funniest yet! Keep them coming.
If Michael's family wants to see the serious side of my thoughts they can see my comments on another thread. Most of these jokes are quite old and many were told on national TV. So let's not pretend that this would be the first time they've ever heard anything that made fun of him.
I'm not pretending anything....just saying their son's not even in the grave yet.
They mighta even thought some of these jokes were funny as I do a while back....but it goes back to decency and
respect for peoples pain.
But to each their own because I sure ain't going to force my opinion on anyone because at the end of the day that
is what it is, just an opinion.
Rebbie Jackson, if you're reading this, here's the more serious side of my thoughts on your brother, as posted on another thread:
The Beatles broke up before I was born. Elvis died when I was five. John Lennon died when I was eight. "Thriller" came out when I was ten. Michael Jackson was the most popular man on the planet. I saw it live when he moonwalked across the stage at the Apollo. I've tried to do it myself ever since then to very little success.
I will say one good thing about growing up JW. I was raised not to be prejudiced. I grew up in the south. There was a white side of town and a black side. My dad, a white guy, conducted the book study in a black woman's house, where most of the attendees were black. I was and still am great friends with a black JW friend that I grew up with. He exposed me to a lot of rap and R&B that I probably wouldn't have heard otherwise.
How popular was Michael? At school everyone wore those red "Beat It" style coats with all the zippers and the sleeves pushed up. I remember going over to a kid's house and he was wearing a single silver glove. Granted, he was considered "spiritually weak" but he was also a white guy with feathered blond hair. Jackson crossed over in so many ways.
Then, as I got older, Michael just got weirder and weirder. Yes, I do believe he probably molested those children. But he's still the Elvis of my generation. His talent was undeniable. I haven't been a big fan of his for a while. But now a piece of my childhood truly has died.
I thought the title was self-explanatory.
A B C, easy as 1, 2...
Future MJ dates have offically been called off. They include Tommy, aged 9 and Gary 11.
In the days before his "death", Michael was spending long torturous hours rehearsing for his comeback London shows. The only unanswered question was the venue for the application of the 50-year-old's makeup. But now even that can be answered:
The latest news from the coroner's office is that Michael will be released when they have applied just the right amount of ghostly white. Apparently just enough makeup had been left over from the making of the Thriller video in the 1980s.
His devoted fans will no doubt be so relieved knowing that everything's right on track for the Gloved One to be wheeled out to lip sync at the London shows in July. Some have even anticipated that, with his death, he may even be more animated than he has been in recent months.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to the discount store?
The ad said: "Boys' pants, half-off!"
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What is Michael Jackson’s ideal a perfect 10?
Two five year olds.
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Michael Jackson turned himself into authorities today and now the court may take away his kids. Don't worry, Michael's working on a deal where he can dangle them on the weekends."
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At the autopsy they found children’s underwear strapped to Michael Jackson’s upper arm. According to his doctors it is just a patch, he’s been trying to quit for a while.
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I don’t feel any emotion for MJs death… Guess he never really touched me when I was younger. Unlike lots of other kids.
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What time is bed time at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand is on the little hand.
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Why does Michael Jackson relate so well to children?
He knows how they feel.
Got this off Mark Prindle's website. It's in REALLY bad taste...
Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon arrived at the Pearly Gates at the same time. St. Peter said, "Unfortunately there's only room for two of you in here, so each of you must tell me why you think you deserve to enter Heaven." Ed McMahon spoke first, "I've lived a good life and brought joy to many people through my appearances on The Tonight Show." Farrah Fawcett was next: "I was always a good person, kind to animals, and people loved masturbating to my poster." Finally, Michael Jackson spoke, "I replaced my entire head with a plastic stick." St. Peter thought for a moment and decided, "Okay, all three of you can come in." "What made you change your mind?" asked Farrah Fawcett. St. Peter chuckled and replied, "Well, I'd prefer to only admit you and Ed, but it looks like Michael's hand is already stuck inside the baby Jesus!"
