how hard is it to move on?...lose everyone?...start new???

by oompa 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • boyzone

    OMG! Bible Student!! Is all ths true???

  • asilentone

    Oompa, try and find new hobbies/friends in your area. Good Luck!

  • metaspy

    Hi Oompa,

    Yes, it is extremely hard to move on.

    I have lost every single one of my closest friends. My mother only calls for tech support or to tell me to go to meetings; my brother - only to tell me to go to meetings.

    I am single, so I do not have the experience to tell you how hard it will be with a JW wife.

    You are possibly my favorite poster on this board. I like your writing style and your sensibleness to your writing.

    You are a fantastic person. I know you can start over - move on, if someone like me can find friends - you can too.

    If you need anything, I will do my best to help.

    You have a PM.

  • oompa

    omg there are some funny posts here.....esp the gerbil droppings from wafflel...........but many are sobering too........oomps

    ya john doe.............prob made me laugh bigtime!!

  • The-Borg

    I did it, fortunately my wife came on board too. But if she hadn't then that wouldn't of stopped me. Her choice at the end of the day. No way could I put up with that bullshit for one second longer.

    Starting over can be hard but people do it all the time, depends on what sort of person you are. You either compromise or you don't, personally I would never ever bow down to those assholes.

    All the best.

    The Borg.

  • oompa

    the lucky bastard!!!..........and did call metaspy at 4 in the morning..........he did not answer..........oompa

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    Oomps I left for 3 did not go well, my wife cracked it. I go back to some Meetings but people get the idea that their former golden boy servant/Pioneer has a problem. I just use them so my wife can have some friendship...mum has hope.....otherwise I just dont give a sh#te about them!

  • metaspy

    Sorry, I had gone to bed at 2 AM.

    I didn't hear the phone.


  • Finally-Free

    The only person I lost was my spouse. All my friends were lost when I joined the cult 20 years earlier. Now I find I don't fit in anywhere. I've grown used to it.


  • Sunspot

    Unfortunately, the WTS purposely makes it as unpleasant and as difficult as possible to not be adoring OF THEM and attached at the hip TO THEM for the rest of your natural life. They have cleverly devised a way to demand and expect loyalty TO THEM and make you as miserable as you can be if you ae not subservient TO them.

    It all boils down to choices.....and what is important to YOU. We all know that if the Witchtower decided that their loyal and obedient lemmings would NOT be chatised any longer (shunning) if they decided to walk away for good.......that there would be a major exodus of their devoted followers heading for every door in every Kingdom Hall on the earth. Fear and hatred of all others....IS what keeps those WTS wheels turning.

    You have to make up your mind what is the most important to YOU and then proceed accordingly. It will not be easy....but in time you will learn to deal with it, and you WILL BE more at peace with yourself and all those around you when you do make up your mind and heart as to what is best suited to you.

    For the first two or three years after leaving....although I had done nothing scriptural to be expelled from the congregation FOR.....I would lower my head and look all nervous and ashamed whenever I happened to come face to face with a WTS defender in any public place. I finally began to build up enough courage to look them straight in the eye, smile and be on my way.

    After one of these unpleasant incidents in Walmart where a loving sister sneered at me and rolled her eyes as I passed by.....I announced to my nonJW husband that from now on I was going to SAY hello in a friendly manner....and if the JW went into the hateful and insulting WTS-trained song and dance...that I would aslo announce to anyone within earshot that THIS is how the smiling JWs on their doorsteps, REALLY ACT when someone chooses not to worship the way THEY do any longer. It gave me such a "high" just waiting for this to happen....and yet in the last few years....I have had the smiles returned by the active WTS adorers and SOME have even said hello!

    As for the loss of family....I still have one oldest daughter....who (among some very ugly and untrue things she has said) has chosen to stop speaking to everyone in the family.....her own siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles....most that were never JWs at all. She has moved, changed her phone number and email addy and NO ONE has a clue where she is now. So much for honor thy Father and Mother and so much for the "love" the bible encourages Christians should display. The WTS has taught their hate to her and she will reap whatever will be coming her way. None of us want anything to do with her because she has personally hurt every one of us because of her we are free from her outward disdain now. Her own siblings are thoroughly disgusted at her behavior.

    Many WTS adorers will take on such hateful and super self-righteous attitudes, that no one wants to be around them being separated from these arrogant really not a big a loss as you might expect it to be. There are so many wonderful, caring and compassionate folks everywhere you go. Who NEEDS to be surrounded by people that are always ready to pounce on every tiny thing, or mistake you might make....and hold their "friendship" over your head if you have an independent thought? It is all hogwash. A lifetime of walking on eggshells does not appeal to ME. Do unto others as you would have done to NOT a WTS motto as you already know.

    Buck up, put all the phony and man-made "WTS rulez, regz & requirementz" behind you..... and face the terrific life that lies in front of you!



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