how hard is it to move on?...lose everyone?...start new???

by oompa 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • oompa

    i have already lost nearly all my friends....maybe just a handful will even be social........but i so hate to lose my mom and dad and my jw is he still shows that he loves me.....but damm........i so hate to lose the little bit of fam i have that normal?......stupid question.....i guess i know from my time here....i so hate these guys that can take them away.....oompa

    i know a bunch of you have done it.....just please help me through it..........

  • leftbelow

    I tried to fade and then let to much slip to my dad. So I am looking forward to hearing what others have to say.

    But I will add what has help me up to this point. I have friends in other cities that have also faded. And I have made freinds with people at work. But the one thing I did that really helped me was to reconnect with some of my friends who DF or faded a long time ago.

    I am sending you a PM

  • PrimateDave

    Yes, it is hard and scary. It helps if you have some kind of interests that you can use to expand your social horizons. Hobbies, sports, educational opportunities, and employment are all good ways to get to know people. Of course, it also helps to be a generally likeable person, honest, dependable, and even tempered. Think about the kind of people you would like to be around and then be that kind of person.

    You have to take the first steps out that door. The internet is a poor substitute for a real social network.


  • Waffles

    It hasn't been a year yet for me since I lost all of my family and friends, and I'm pretty fucking depressed, bitter, angry, you name it. In my experience, so far it sucks, but I'll be damned if I spend the rest of my life drinking Kool Aid, living a lie, and shoving Awake magazines down people's throats on topics like "The Glory of Gerbil Droppings". Wish I had some positive words for you, but I am still quite distraught over this whole realization and subsequent mess. I'm hoping to make new friends by following up interest on hobbies. We'll see where it takes me.

  • jamiebowers

    Your dad shuns our son, so why would you want anythng to do with him? Your mom believes that children shouldn't get baptized and refuses to shun those who did and are now df'd, so why would she shun you? You and your wife can come to an agreement. While she's doing jw stuff, you have friends over, preferably in a part of the house that she doesn't have to enter or on your boat, etc. It can be worked out, and you can be happy.

  • dinah

    Oomps, yes it's hard. Think of it this way........we now know we only get this one you want to live it jumping through hoops for other people? Or would you rather spend it making lasting, frienships that do not depend on your obedience to the FDS?

    In 6 months, I predict you will be asking yourself "What took me so long?"

  • beksbks

    Not to be simplistic Ooompa, but as Dinah said, we only have this one life. Stop wasting it being on the fence, and stop pining for ignorance. What I mean is, you can't put your knowledge back in the box. You know the dubs are wrong, you will never be happy pretending they aren't. So time to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, and start living like a regular old person. Get tough with your wife, tell her she can be a dub if she wants to, but you are gonna live an honest life.

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Haven't we already had this thread a dozen times this month?

  • dinah

    Oompa, Beks hit the nail of the head. Once you know something, you can't un-know it. It's up to you whether you can live with it.

    I went to a few meetings about 8 years ago to pacify my mother. It was hell. It made me very angry to hear things I knew were not true and see people sitting there hanging on every word. No thanks!

    We get one life. You'd better live it.

    As for your topic title, you know how hard it will be.


    Pretty F*ck`n hard..Thats how it is.....................It`s worth it!!....................................OUTLAW

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